Wednesday, April 10, 2013

If I had a theme park.....

It seems as if lately all I talk about or think about are theme parks. Have I gone theme park crazy? Should I give up my amazing job at the worse pizza place ever to move to Orlando and be closer to the fun? No then I would have to work twice as hard to have adventures. Better stay out....
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All board to Tenchi's park of stolen ideas and lands!
However on a recent trip home from Orlando I was either on a sugar high or lost my mind. Probably a bit of both. But we (my friends and the husband) started listing things we like and dislike about theme parks and we had a brilliant idea. I would start my own theme park. And we shall call it Tenchi's Copyrightwhat? World!!!!! Start saving your pennies ya'll! (note all of these pictures were also stolen from the internets. I mean....borrowed. I mean...all I have is Duffy clothes and Hello Kitty stuffed animals to my name. None of these pics are mine!! XD )
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Come spend money in my park!
As the name suggests I am not creating really anything new. Well except for one thing that will basically replace EVC's but other than that...steal steal steal. I mean....borrow! See instead of winning 54 million dollars like my crazy dream post I will apparently have WAY more more money. Like oh you gonna sue me for copyright infringement? How nice. Get in line. Let the fun begin!!!
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We are going to need a giant parking garage....
To start off with my amusement/theme park is going to be 15 miles total. Apparently that is a lot because everyone in the car started laughing. Goobers. Why have different parks within driving distance if I can just make one huge park? No park hoppers tickets here. People will really need to buy multiple day tickets though. Don't worry about people passing out from all that walking though. We got that covered.
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How ugly is this?!
People can take different modes of transportation around the park. I will not be renting out huge strollers or wheelchairs. I got along just fine on a folding stroller thank you. I am not trying to be a hater on people with kids or those who NEED wheelchairs. But if you need those things wouldn't you already bring them? Wait...if I want only folded strollers maybe I would give those out to people if they bring their giant ones. But I don't want to be accused of discrimination if kids have disabilities and what not. HMMMMM.
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Like this but smaller.
But one idea I am bringing to my park is called the Inch N Go. What is an Inch N Go? It is going to be …..a little car if you would. Way smaller than a golf cart but operates the same. It would like similar to the trams or min trains you see in the malls but way smaller. Big enough for one person but room to connect another car or two for family members. People might think this would take up a lot of space but wheelchairs, strollers, and EVC's are pretty big, bigger than what I have in mind. These would be more like mini golf carts but would go much slower. Thus the inch part. XD You can get one with a topper on it or ride with it down, so you can see the nice areas around you. Really it could be a ride in itself, pretending to be on a train the entire time you are in the park. Now I would store these Inch N Gos underground, like how the Japanese store their bikes. No stroller city in my park. Just take your stuff and turn your Inch N Go in when you get to a ride/land you want to be in for a while. Simple as pie yes?
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So besides this wonderful Inch N Go technology there will be mini trains connecting lands. As my theme park is 15 miles large I sense that people might pass out before enjoying my park and spending loads of money. So I plan to set up my park similar to the Magic Kingdom. Have a main street with quaint little shops that connect to the main hub. The hub will connect to some lands. But at the entrance of each connecting land will be a long people mover. Behind each land will be another land. So instead of walking through an entire land you can hop on this mini ride and save some walking. There will also be a train that circles the complete outside of the park similar again to the Magic Kingdom but with way more stops obviously. I want my theme park to be a one stop destination but not somewhere that people dread because of the walking.
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Where is your messenger bag?!
Speaking of hub...what is my theme park's icon? This was much talked about but I think we decided on Stitch. A huge statue of Stitch with a messenger bag. He will be holding Duffy and wearing Mickey ears. In his bag will be other iconic things found in my park, like It's So Fluffy, Hello Kitty, ect. I wanted to do with a castle with a walk through but this seemed to speak my message. That being everything goes!
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Spend the night here and hop on the boat in the morning to get to the park.
I keep saying lands but what do I mean by that? We are going to have the shopping area outside. Like a Citywalk or Downtown Disney. That will be on one side. Surrounding the theme park will be a lake type structure that can carry guests from their hotels. All the major hotels will surround the park in a circle and you can get ferried from your hotel. I was going to have multiple fronts gates. Maybe I will but there will definitely be multiple exists. Can't have herds crushing people you know?
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Just look cute. But will have INTERESTING SHOPS, not random stuff shoved in it.
After parking in my giant lot and being transported via People Mover to the ticket gate you can stop and have your pics taken with some characters. The ones representing the major lands. Then you cross the threshold to Main Street. I don't want any statues of me so...I guess Main Street will look slightly different. I do like the old timey feel though. Might be weird since this a theme park of stolen ideas everywhere, not just the United States. But I want to have a jumbo shop with a select few items from each land. Not everything because hello that is dumb. Then fun shops like a bakery, candy making, ice cream parlor, movie theater, magic show, museum, ect. All that fun stuff on one street!
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Of course I was stealing this...
The list of lands Tenchi is stealing/creating!!!!
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I am going to steal something I have not seen the inside of yet. XD
Fantasyland- Bigger and better! More rides, one for each main Princess. A castle with different wings for meet and greets. I would keep the new Beauty and the Beast Restaurant and seal the Queen of Hearts one from Tokyo Disney. Fantasyland will be for the Princesses and popular Disney movies that fit the theme. I would lose the carousel and move Pooh to another land. Plenty of street performances and random moments of fun. Lots of detail and eye candy for those who don't really love Princesses. Like maybe an enchanted garden or a place for majestic looking creatures, ponies and peacocks and what not. Also I am going to try and break the gender gap here and have all the Princes walking around. Maybe have some sword “training” with some of the Princes or having them talk about their adventures at the local watering hole.
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MUST STEAL! Awesome ride!
Mickey's Toontown- Where Mickey lives duh. I don't think I would involve Roger Rabbit though. Instead Pooh and other like characters would go here. Each main Disney character would get their own interactive house along with a meet and greet. The main restaurant would have Mickey shaped everything including food. The Winnie the Pooh ride from Japan would be the main event here as well as the dark ride based on Philarmagic. You can watch the show and then opt to go on the ride afterward. But it wouldn't be as slow as other dark rides. More like when Donald is flying across worlds type feel. And for a little shout out Donald will end up in the Kingdom Hearts universe. Add in the Jr. Casey play-land area and a Chip and Dale 3-D simulator like the Simpsons and we have a land WOOHOO!
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Mountain Rides weeee!
Mountain Terrain- Instead of having Adventure Land and Liberty Square and whatever else land I will just have all the mountain rides in one place including the Everest One. The surrounding areas will be themed to match their mountains. Like all the little critters from Splash Mountain will host a song a long outside and a shooting range outside Thunder Mountain. The two main restaurants will be Yeti Avalanche and Mars Diner. Space Mountain will be rethemed for Mars so it can match the other lands like mountains. I am just not a fan of how Space Mountain looks. We could retheme it to look more like a colony base yes? We can sell safari gear and cool themed backpacks.
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Must have a restaurant for this.
PixarLand- This land might look like the most messed up now that I think about it. But some of those movies are so random where else could they go? I would definitely steal the Buzz Lightyear ride. I would combine the Laugh Factory to exit into the Monster's Inc ride in Japan. The People Mover would be based on Wall-E. The main restaurant will be based on Up, floating in the sky. Definitely would bring over the new Cars racing ride and have a Cozy Cone restaurant. The meet and greet would be Andy's room with movie posters based on what characters is present at the time. The carts would sell those Wall-E slushies but in good flavors. But where will Stitch live...? Still I know this will looked a bit messed up in terms of theme. Big and bright, full of crazy.
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So magical for my wallet.
Sanrio Land- This was a must have on my list of stolen ideas. I love my Hello Kitty ya'll and most of her friends. But since I am not a hater I have to include them all yes? Hello Kitty will be the star and have a giant meet and greet. There you can choose your own mood and meet the Hello Kitty of your choice. Punk, Alice in Wonderland, Classic, ect. That way each experience is different. I LOVE Cinnamoroll. He would have the main restaurant in this land. So many yummy things to eat. I failed to mention before but I would try to include collectables at some of the restaurants. Like buy a dessert and get to keep the cup. Obviously the price would reflect if you are getting the cup or throw away item. I think in some lands this will work better than others. I think this land can have a few more kiddie rides than the others but I would try to include Badtz Maru and others to make it more for the whole family. Maybe a shooting game for him. Definitely will have a show area here with fun for the whole family. Dance Kitty dance!
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Legos...that is your job husband.
LegoLand- The husband's only real contribution to the conversation besides no stroller Wednesdays and I hate popcorn. Yes the husband hates popcorn and since the rest of the park will have lovely flavors from all over at various locations (stolen from Tokyo Disney) he will install huge fans that blow the smell back into the other part of the parks. My husband wanted more adult rides at this part of the park verses the one in Orlando. We would still have rides of kids but more....roller coaster like rides he said. I want all the food to be lego shaped. XD And the cups too. He wanted to make special sets that you can only get at this park and have special activities for VIP members. A huge Lego castle with the history of legos and past sets are a must. There would be mini fig trading and places to watch the lego mini movies. Oh and of course we need to have the land with all the famous world attraction in mini lego form. Only maybe with a canopy over the area. XD
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And that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
Snoopy Land- My friend loves Snoopy and she said she wanted to make this part of the park. She can run it I guess. XD Snoopy is cute but I am not well versed in all that is Snoopy. We would have to have a year round theater performance of A Charlie Brown's Christmas complete with the little sad tree. Maybe this can be a little sub land in an area with other old cartoons. XD Does that make sense, like at Islands of Adventure?
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Must make this mountain too!
Seuss Landing- I really love this area at Islands of Adventure but I think it can be more. Bigger and better. Dr. Seuss should be larger than life. I want a real Mt. Crumpit...but then I would have to put it in the Terrain Land. I guess I will have to figure that out. Obviously we would have a Grinchmas show and what not at Christmas time. I like the trolley ride but would make it go through more rides. I would make it look more like Fantasyland than a carnival. Instead of having a Cat in the Hat ride I would have one huge building that you can pick your own Seuss adventure. Like I want to read One Fish, Two Fish and POOF there you go. Surely this large book will be the centerpiece of the land.
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On a bigger scale of course.
Everything Goes Japan Land- Because I said so! We will have sushi bars and candy making demonstrations and the cool drums. Places where you can sit back and enjoy the view, as fake as it is. XD This would be the area of the park where you can find the exclusive Duffy! I love Duffy and Shellie May and will bring real quality clothes and merchandise to the states. On Main Street we will have a huge Build a Bear shop that will have many types of plushies to make, representing all the park but Duffy will only be found here. I will have nendoroid trading and host mini anime conventions. I was thinking about making this area of the park on the outside so if people wanted to only attend to anime convention won't have to pay the full admission price. There will be replicas of famous Japanese spots and there will be a garden for those who want to have a Japanese style wedding. Maybe on this this side of the park the hotel beyond the cake will be capsules. XD
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Villain make overs!
Villain Lair- I think that villains are a very important part of every Disney film. Without them where would the movie go? So I think they need their own section of the park...if only to make more money off awesome merchandise. No seriously I think that this would be an awesome dark area of the park. Spookier versions of dark rides, What Ifs versions of the movies where the villains win, and spooky food. Tons of character meet and greets all year round and not only at Halloween Time. This land would house the ever popular Tower of Terror, themed to different Disney movies depending on the rotation. There are plenty of places to turn kids into pirates or princesses but why not villains too? And why not for adults too? XD Come and be your favorite villain. I want a large stage show that basically have the villains acting like the villains in Shrek, talking about how they were wronged and misunderstood. Small touches would include random animatronic bats that fly from tree to tree when people are walking around the park. Trees will randomly open their eyes and look at people then quickly close them. So spooky. XD
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I hate roller coasters weeee!
Thrill Seeker Island- I think this name needs a little work...obviously. But yes I recognize that some people love roller coasters even though I prefer to stay on the ground. The problem is that I want a theme park, not an amusement park. And roller coasters just don't look...well nice most of the time. Like a giant sheet of metal that bends all over the place. But we need to have some. Sure we will have some scary rides throughout the park but we will have traditional rollar coasters in this area. Like hop on the little people mover and come to this area WAYYYY in the back of the park. But we still need to have some stories behind the rides. I will let my rollar coaster people figure this out. Just....make sure there are plenty of puke buckets. 

Epic Story Land- What exactly is that? Well that will be the place where I stick franchises where I think deserve cool rides after them. Or entire stolen sections of other parks. I will have Harry Potter...but only bigger. XD Lord of the Rings, time to take a huge chunk of land. Really this land will have to be huge as I will have a Star Wars Land over here. Each subland will have a book on a grand scale that you enter through, that a dome will cover that area up so it is not seen from the outside. When you travel to sublands you see pages and filmstrips representing how books and movies can take you away from it all.
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Every land will need a train of course. XD On the outside.
While all of my lands are going to be totally different I am going to make sure there are some things that are included in each area. I am not in tune with the needs of people with kids but I am assuming a family friendly bathroom would be helpful, for those with kids and those without. A baby care area near the first aid station in each land will also be included but still themed to that particular land. Like maybe a cute little pokemon center in Japan Land or a Dumbo area in Fantasyland. Plenty of custodians and plain clothed security will roam the parks. The cleaner the area and the presence of popo help maintain a positive atmosphere. I will try to make each land their own circle with some sort of icon that people can use as a meeting point. Like if you get lost go to the Mirror Mirror statue to meet up. 

What I will not be including any of my lands are those annoying vacation club/upselling booths. I just hate those. So much pressure and I hate it when people try to sell me something and I have to say no and that might affect their pay. There will be plenty of other jobs for my people to have (IE more custodians) that we won't need that kind of upsells. No cat calling to people from the little tiny booths as you walk...that will be nicely themed, not Henna tattoos and crap. If people want something they will look. Do not scare away my potential customers. 

Each land will have some sort of wonderful daytime entertainment. I really wanted a parade for each land. Would that be overkill though? I mean....when you have one parade for a big park you can avoid it if you want. But a parade might tie up most of a small land you know? Still I think it would be fun and there is certainly enough material for most of my lands...well maybe not the Thrill Seeker Island part. But having live entertainment is very important. Gotta give the people something fun to watch. No one is allowed to wait for the parade 1 hour before the event, people must remove all large hats, no kids on shoulders, and the first few rows MUST sit down. Respect. My park goers will show it or be asked to leave the area.
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Fun take home souvenir. Only at Pixar Land.
Each land will have specific area merchandise. Like I said earlier the Emporium on the Main Street area will have bits and pieces from every land but you won't find 10 percent of what you can buy in that store. I mean....that is boring. I want stores to be attractions in themselves. Very well themed. I love taking pictures in stores and I am sure others do to. And if you can find the same stuff in every store why would people bother with even half of the stores? So everything needs very different. If you want that Hello Kitty purse you better pick it up when you are on that side of the park. You want a big box set of Legos. Great you can only find them in the popcorn free sections of the park. Sure this will be super expensive to pull off but apparently I'm the richest person ever.
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I don't think I will give out free fastpasses to people who stay at the more expensive hotels. There will be other perks for hotel guests.
I am not sure what I think about Fastpasses. I can see that it is necessary in parks within the realms of reality but my park? With so much to see and do? Will lines be that long? I guess I should prepare to be full all the time. I just hate how ugly some Fast pass machines make the area. They really would have to blend in with the area. Really blend in. And the rules will not be bent. Be back on time or else! 

As for my hotels I will need to have a wide range of places to stay. I want everyone to be on site and not stay at other places. But if all my hotels circle the park they will all be close. Thus why would someone spend more money to be 1,000 feet closer. I don't want to cut back on amenities, even the most basic hotels. I want all the hotels to have sound proof rooms. I am a light sleeper and my park will obviously attract many kids. Everyone needs sleep. But the most basic hotels will be just that. No thrills, a place to lay your head and the free little shampoo bottles. If you got a budget, I will give you just that. The more expensive the hotel the more grand it will be. For some people just see hotels as a place to sleep at night. For others a hotel is part of the vacation fun, with massages and 5 star dining service. There will be NO hotel hopping at my park. You can swim and eat at your own hotel. But if you want the services at the top notch hotel you got to pay the price for a room. Makes sense yes? 

Next to my huge park is going to be another huge plot of land. It will be well hidden behind trees and suchies. This will be my operational area. A place where out of season items are kept, factories making the different themed napkins are made, and where uniforms are pressed and cleaned. Basically whatever I need to run my park will be found here. Daycare for my workers, stockrooms for all the merchandise, and a greenhouse for all the plants that are needed to make things look pretty. Sure this will be expensive but apparently I am Bill Gates! This way I can make everything just how I want it. I won't have to kiss butt to sponsors. The experience is with the details and if I have a large enough area to store tons of stuff I can afford to make all the restaurants and stores have different merchandise.
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Time to roll out the seasonal entertainment!
Also with so much space I can really go all out in regards to Seasonal entertainment. That is something that I find lacking in some theme parks. I don't want anyone to ever think my park is boring. I want something new to be happening all the time. will help sales. XD My annual passholders will probably be more likely to come back and spend more money if I have different and limited time stuff from time to time. Each land will celebrate these different holiday and seasonal events in different ways. Like the Villains Land will have the saddest Christmas ever but the best Halloween. FantasyLand will be so full of color around Easter time. Japan will kick off summer right with all their festivals. And while some lands will be more decorated than others I will make sure there are plenty of nice touches. Not here is a pumpkin, enjoy. 

XO It has taken my quite a while to write all of this!!! Weeks. XD A bit a day. I think I have forgotten a lot of what we talked about as we must have talked the entire 2.5 hours home. I just want to make a park that is perfect for taking tons of pictures, family friendly without ruining my theming, and the ability to kick out bad guests to help everyone else have a good time. A one stop destination that will put everyone out of business while they are suing the crap out of me for copyright infringement. Pay for one park or go to all them as I grow and expand something that doesn't exist. Ah long car rides home. Look what they create!

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