The end of Tenchi the Pizza girl: WTF quota reaching maximum output

Hello there my lovely readers. This week I have learned I might have been slightly spoiled in ONCE aspect of my other job. Just one though. Asking off days. Well really it was a two edged sword. You could ask off whenever you wanted and 99.9% of the time the answer was yes. But that meant it was yes for everyone else too. Meaning the boss would say yes and no one would fill in that gap. I sorta felt bad and made sure to at least attempt to find a replacement but often times everyone was already scheduled. Still when it worked out for me it was fine. Since we only have TWO employees at this one location....yeah. It might take some getting used to. Some effort and possible nos.

Still that is ONE thing about my old job that I miss. ONE. That and I could wear whatever I wanted. The con list was much longer. Much, much longer. I just received my third paycheck at my new job and it seems like a lifetime ago I was at Mike's Pizzeria being screamed at and melting on the ground from the lack of AC. I still haven't properly explained what happened that fateful day. Well in my blog. In person....I am sure people are tired of me. So come, walk with me as I explain after 5 loyal years of service I was cast aside for two convicted felons. I will also welcome you into my wonderful new life as a dry cleaner girl.

The story officially starts on a Friday. We had someone dramatically quit because Momager was talking shit behind his back and lying about it. I tried to calm the boy off a cliff but he was like no eff this shit. I was then told I was stirring the pot and made the 16 year old quit. Oh okay. Because that makes sense, me trying to tell the boy to calm down=making his rage quit. So we had one boy quit that night and another put in his two week notice. That meant we would be down two drivers. Keep that in mind. Momager then tells Boss she is not coming in tomorrow (notice of days off? Crazy talk!). I look at Boss and say YOU have to be here tomorrow. YOU! Because if Boss and Momager were not there.....I would be the next one with seniority and I didn't want to mess with that shit. Let me be clear. I was not a manager at all. Just that in terms of how long I worked there it would be me in line. 

Come Saturday and I walk in for my 4 o clock shift. The store should have 7 employees in it plus Boss. I count two. Two people doing ALL THE WORK! Everyone else is outside....I have no idea what they were doing. Not in the store. And everything looks a hot mess, with the two employees I did see trying to make orders now and clean up the mess the morning shift had made. I am like where the hell is Boss?! Not here. And when he called earlier in the day he made it sound like he was not coming in. I am panicking. What the hell?!?!?

I take out a piece of paper to write everyone's name on. Since no else is taking charge or has the authority to take charge I have to make sure all stations are covered and that we don't have too many people. I ask a few people when they came in so I don't accidentally make anyone work a double. Or them complain later I didn't let them go home even though they said nothing to me. One employee....I can't remember my nickname I use for him on this blog. We will go with Roid Rage. Roid Rage won't tell me when he came in. He asks why I need to know even though it is clear what I am doing. I deduce from everyone else he opened the store and write down that Roid Rage should go home no later than 7:00. Roid Rage then takes my paper and says I am not in charge, that I am a nobody. I say okay Mr. Been Here a Year. Roid Rage says Boss left him in charge and I need to stop acting like a bitch, that I know it all. I tell Roid Rage that Boss wouldn't leave him in charge since he can't read or add. That goes over well.

Sensing this will end badly I decided to call Boss. Because I don't want to be in charge. Yet with the crew I had I would be forced to take that role despite not having that title. And since most of the employees were asshole meatheads I could tell no one would listen to me. Case in point. I try to call Boss. But since Boss is the most unprofessional person ever his number is no where in the store. The only people who have Boss's number are Momager and Boss's son Pothead. I ask Pothead to either give me Boss's number of call him for me because I wanted Boss to come here and fix this NOW! 

Behind me appears Roid Rage and Convict. Convict is Pizza Maker Two's brother. This was his 5th shift at Mike's Pizzeria. During his 2nd shift he told Pizza Maker 2 to send me home since Convict could cover my shift much better than I could. Like oh okay. Both Convict and Roid Rage are felons. Roid Rage stabbed someone and Convict likes underage girls. And at this moment were telling Pothead not to call his Dad. Roid Rage assumes he was going to get in trouble whereas Convict decided since Roid Rage has a penis he was in charge despite the fact I had been there 5 times longer than Roid Rage. I told Pothead to give me the number. Pothead decided this was too real for him and ran from all of us. 

As Pothead ran from these huge two guys I was left standing there. Both assholes started yelling at me. To paint a picture I am 5'4” and is as muscular as Prim from the Hunger Games. Roid Rage....well look at his name. Convict is about 6'2” and pretty muscular. And both were leaning over in my face yelling that I was nothing and to calm my shit down and do what they say. So I told them to back off or I was leaving. I was not going to be threatened or harassed just because Boss was too lazy to work. When they wouldn't back off and kept screaming I got my stuff and walked out of the store. It was 4:16. 

This was Saturday. Got home and told my husband what happened. I was visibly shaken. I texted two of the co-workers I didn't hate to apologize for leaving. One Employee, Golden Boy, reported to me that Convict's brother Pizza Maker Two was pissed at ME for implying I was in charge. Since HE was in charge....wait what? I never wanted to be in charge. Roid Rage said HE was in charge. So how was under minding Pizza Maker Two's authority when I never knew he was in charge???! Turns out (or it's a lie from Boss) that Pizza Maker Two was never in charge. 

Still Pizza Maker Two was mad and called Boss right when I left. Thanks Pothead. Secretly Golden Boy got the number and told Boss how I was being harassed and threatened, really stuck up for me. Golden Boy called Monday to say the entire incident had blown over and Boss/Momager knew Rode Rage is to blame. So I waited for my Thursday shift, ready to glare at Convict and Roid Rage. 

I walk in the door and go to put my stuff down when Boss tells me to walk in the back to talk to him. Not good I think. He wants to know why I am there since he texted me last night. HMMM I say, showing him my phone and that I had never received a text from him ever. Well he said he did text me and it said that due to the fact that I abandoned my shift Saturday I was being let go. That Boss and Momager had talked about it and decided this was the best course of action. I am shocked, asking why Boss didn't call ME about what happened on Saturday if he was so upset. He talked around in circles for a while, saying I had done other things besides leaving Saturday. I asked him what things. No answer was given. I tried to tell him what happened, the truth version but Boss listened for only 30 seconds to say that this wasn't working and I was fired. 

What the hell folks? Golden Boy later called me to tell me that he had no idea where this all came from as he was vouching for me and no one seemed that upset. But when I walked out the door that day Momager and Roid Rage were smirking. Like woohoo we got Tenchi out of here. What kind of unprofessional Boss doesn't ask both sides of the story? Oh probably the same one who makes it a habit of hiring Convicts who should probably still be in jail? 

To make matters worse, you know being jobless and fired from my own mother, they refused to send me my last check. You know like a normal business would. I had to go in and pick up my last check myself. And since Momager lives in a land of delusion she had no idea why I was so angry since I quit. Um how did I quit? She said I quit on Saturday night and I shouldn't be so mad. THEN WHY WAS I THERE THURSDAY?!?!?! She then said that Boss fired me and had nothing to do with it. See what level of delusions I was working with? Then Momager said she didn't have my last payment and I needed to come back later. Even though the husband had called 30 minutes before and was told it was ready. Like really.....really. 

The crowning jewel of this story is Golden Boy is the one who quit the pizza place. The second best worker after me. And that Convict was thrown in jail shortly after I was fired for......underage girls. SHOCKER!!!! I just wish that Roid Rage had been thrown back in jail too for his awful temper. But yes this was a slight bit of justice. Three out of 5 of the drivers were no longer in the store and I am sure Pizza Maker Two, who lied on me and got me in trouble, was pretty upset about this. A slight bit of justice for me but still......I know this job was awful but in the history of Mike's Pizzeria only one other employee had been fired. No matter how bad other employees became no one was fired. So clearly I am slightly bitter that out of everyone, from people who missed work weeks at a time, who lied about losing money on deliveries, and who got pulled over by the cops for driving 50 in a 10 mile school pick up zone....I was the one chosen to be fired. 

Three weeks after my sad panda routine at the house friend calls and says I have been hired by her dry cleaner place, only at another location. A quick trip (or long said adventure into I hate pants land) to the store to buy nicer work cloths and I was all ready to start searching pockets and tagging clothes. And it has been about three weeks since then. So far I have not melted from the lack of AC nor have I been nearly eaten by a misbehaving dog. No more stiffing tippers or wrong numbers on phones or houses. But I have been yelled at for charging the people the correct price on things. Guess that never changes, people thinking things are way too expensive. Oh and people think that we are miracle workers and can get out set in stains that have been there for months.

But still....no matter how new I am at this job and that there are some customers who complain....it is way better that Mike's Pizzeria. I only have one other co-worker and we take pride in our work and strive to get things done right. I am not constantly yelled at or told I am rude. While I am still pissed at how things went down and feel disrespected on many levels, this job seems much better. At the very least...I won't have to see Roid Rage or Convict ever again. Just hope that life knocks them down a peg or two. This isn't the 1940's, have some respect for woman!

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Customer service workers of the world unite! A tale of two Taylor Chapmans!

I am sure by now many of you have seen this on Facebook or other social medias. The video of an insane girl demanding food and apparently blood from Dunkin Donuts. If not here is a link to the insanity. A brief overview of the situation. Crazy girl Taylor Chapman didn't get a receipt for her order one night. She claims the employee on duty was rude to her and told her to come back the next day. Taylor Chapman comes back the next day ready with her phone to record how awful life is for her as she screams and shouts and gets whatever free food she wants because one day she is going to Mars and will blow the....well racial slurs up. No really, that is what she said over the course of 8 minutes.

While everyone is calling this awful and demanding that she be fired and the employee who had to deal with her deserves a raise I was thinking wow it is like watching my life! I was going to post this link and then link my own story of a super awful customer who apparently got her lawyer involved and lost her mind. But when I looked for the link...I couldn't find it! For some reason I thought I had already blogged this crazy customer encounter! I remember writing it all down at work but now I can't find it. Well...I guess I should share my story of woe now! Since it fits the theme of the day. I don't work there anymore...but it is the job that keeps on giving.  

I am going to state for the record that I probably should have plastered on a happy smile throughout this whole thing. As a worker in the retail/customer industry it means that one has sign away all their emotions and soul. They are apparently supposed to be happy no matter what shit is thrown their way. Well I am not a robot. And I think the worker dealing with Taylor Chapman the first time around wasn't a robot either. I am sure that woman did slip from that perfect smile and didn't kiss Taylor Chapman's ass and that is when all hell broke loose. So yeah. I am well aware that for the record I didn't smile enough and that maybe, just maybe I should get a smart phone to locate addresses better.

Momager takes an order. I will change the actual road and neighborhood names as...egging this lady's house would be wonderful but blamed on me. Lets just say the road was Rosewood Court and the neighborhood was Rosebush. That is what the ticket states. I cock my head and go....I don''t think I have heard of Rosewood before. But since Rosebush is a neighborhood that is easy to navigate I just go MEH I will find it. Some neighborhoods you can't do that, tons of twists and turns and roads connecting to other streets. Rosebush has ONE main road and all the streets connect to it. Meaning if you drive up and down it you can see all the streets and not miss a thing. I ask one more time if this is what the customer said. Momager said yes. The map in the back says otherwise but our map is not super up to date. Get in my car the second the pizza is up and go.Go to wonderful world of crazy customers.

Get to Rosebush and drive the length of the main road. I do not see Rosewood Court. I call the customer but they do not answer. I leave a message for them. I call the Momager to call them as sometimes people don't answer their phone if it is an unknown number and Mike's Pizzeria will come up if she calls. I hang up with her and call the husband at work. He has a smart phone and the internet at work. I give him the answer and poof he finds that it is located in the neighborhood RoseFlower. Like really. REALLY FOLKS! Do people not know where they live? Is this real life?! Yes I should have made sure where it was located BEFORE I left the store. But the Momager confirmed this is what they said and if I had called they would have given me the same information. Luckily all of this phone calling has only taken 2 minutes and if I drive...fast I can get to this nearby neighborhood super fast. Our delivery time is 45 minutes. It took 8 minutes for the pizza cook and I left right after it came out of the oven. We aren't even at 30 minutes yet, let alone 45. All is well. 

Obviously not. Or this post wouldn't exist. The Momager called the customer. No answer, left a message. The customer called. Asked where their pizza was as they ordered like a whole hour ago!!! Momager is like....err it hasn't been that long and we have been calling you. The customer then went “OH yeah I gave ya'll the wrong neighborhood. My mom is stupid.” Exact words folks. Momager gets the right neighborhood and calls me back. I was already on my way and hadn't called her back as I was trying to get there as fast as possible. In fact I was nearly in the driveway when she called. Explained what was happening and threw the phone in the seat. Parked my car at the end of the driveway. 

When I pull up there are two adults standing in the driveway. One is holding a baby. When I park and start to take the pizza out of my car the woman who was holding the baby and talking on the cellphone rolls her eyes at me and walks inside. I start walking up the driveway and the woman still there is like “Heard you got lost!!!!” No apology, almost like she is accusing me of giving her cold food. I say nothing. I go to hand her the delivery slip that she needs to sign and she says that the woman who went inside is the one who ordered/paid. She walks to the door and I follow. I stand off the step...and the door is slammed. Okay, they have a kid and they don't want him to run out. I wait for the woman to return...and she doesn't. I am waiting and waiting....finally I knock at the door because it has been too long for this to be normal. 

The door FLIES open and the baby holding woman screams “I WAS COMING!” at me. This is going well. She starts muttering under her breath that she called about the right neighborhood and doesn't know why it took me so long to get there. I say nothing. I am sure my face is not happy at this moment. The pen and paper is shoved back in hand and the pizza is snatched. I say nothing. The woman rolls her eyes at me again and says “Sorry you got lost” and slams the door in my face. Now....this was probably a really bad thing to do but I did say something then. I look at the slip and notice there is no tip. I say under my breath “Thanks for the tip not” and walk away from the door. I don't know if I was heard. Guessing how things went down later she didn't but just putting it out there that I was failing to keep a smile on my angry face. 

I get back to the store and the pizza maker says thanks a lot!!!! Since going to my car and driving off a cliff is an over dramatic option I ask what the hell he is talking about. Momager appears and asks what on Earth I did to the customers. Because calmly asking my side of the story never happens, we have to always assume I am at fault. Momager explains that the customer called back and the pizza maker answered the phone. The customer started off with “Who the fuck just delivered my pizza I am going to kill a bitch”. Now a normal person would hang up the phone, call that person insane, and maybe call the police to get a restraining order. No no, not my co-workers. Momager gets on the phone and this is what happens. The world according to insane people. 

Apparently the customers were waiting outside because they were concerned that I got lost. They wanted to make sure I got there safely. Since I was dumb and got their address wrong when they ordered. When I get to their house I nearly run over their mailbox and am too busy talking on my phone to accept their apologies about the address mix up. One woman goes in the house to get a pen to sign the slip and I just roll my eyes at them and don't accept their heart felt apologizes. So naturally it is time for them to call up the store and say that I am lucky to be alive, that they wanted to kill me because I was so rude. I look at my Momager and pizza maker and ask if this story makes any sense. Since the Momager was the last person I was on the phone with she realizes that no, no it does not. So I explain my side of the situation, the truth side. I tell them the entire story, including how I mentioned no tip. But since I was super rude and said nothing they didn't hear that part. Everyone is still confused on why there is so much anger but we go about our day. 

Or at least we tried. The phone rings a few hours later. It is the customer's mom. Apparently the person who called and made the order while she was at work and had the credit card. So we already notice a problem yes? I was not the one who took the order earlier yet I was accused of taking her order wrong. Now it turns out the two people at the house weren't even on the phone! But anyway the mom has gotten home from work and was told about my grave mistake of...well getting up that morning and going to work. That she has never heard of such awful customer service in her life and demands to speak to the owner. Of course the owner is a loser and is never there so Momager says that she can take the woman's name and number and pass the message on. Not good enough. The woman wants corporates number. Now...we are a small mom and pop store, hole in the wall. Only one store. There is no corporates number. We don't even have a computer. Momager explains this. 

Shit hits the fucking fan. Momager cannot cuss. No really she has cussed like 10 times in her entire life. Of course 5 of them were directed at me.....but yes she tries to avoid this at all costs. So when the woman starts screaming at her that SHE, Momager, is a bitch for lying about the phone number, Momager can't handle it. She starts rambling about how the daughter before called and accused the driver of being rude and threatened to kill her (me) because she (the woman on the phone) gave the wrong neighborhood name and that none of this drama is worth it over a tiny mistake. Well clearly that is just fuel to the crazy train and this lead to more arguing and noise making. I start looking at the map to find the that cliff again. Finally the phone is hung up and Momager looks to the fresh staff that just came in for support, that she was called THE B WORD! Um excuse me they said they were going to kill me, but I guess we can make it about you. 

They call back. Yeah they do. One of the drivers answers. He is 18 and this is his first job ever. No idea how to handle the crazy. Apparently the woman has contacted her lawyer. And we all better get ready because there is going to be hell to pay. Unless I am fired, apologize, and/or kill myself we are going to be sued. SUED! Never before has she/her family had to deal with this level of poor customer service. The woman keeps screaming, the poor pizza driver wants to hang up the phone, and I am sent home before I make things worse. Because apparently you can sense when people are rolling their eyes over the phone...when they are not on the phone.

And that my friends...is my Taylor Chapman story. I feel really bad for this employee. All the employees really. No one deserves any of that, whether or not they had a clue or to have racial slurs thrown at them. This just goes to show you how the customer is always right saying has gone way, way too far and businesses need to start putting their foot down. People are people, humans with jobs. We are not punching bags. Especially over minor or nonexistent problems. For real.

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Job? What job?!?!?! Apparently I don't need no stinkin' job!

So....for the past few days I have been a sad panda. Like sitting on the couch just moping around hating the world and wishing ill on people. Clearly I need to express myself a little better because I told my husband I was a sad panda and thought I wanted Panda Express for dinner. Or maybe that was his way of trying to cheer me up. Silly husband. But at least he is trying.

The feelings of my heart.

So why is Tenchi full of woe and staring at the TV screen not blogging anime even if she watched an episode on Wednesday? Well...because I went to work on Thursday and the minute I walked in the door was told I was fired. HMMM! Insert rage and hatred and anger. And any other words that describe my feelings right now. Note when I looked up anime angry girl I got quite a few strange pics. Like um thanks for the boobies, because I am not angry enough!

How did this happen!??!

But yes. After almost 5 years at “Mike's Pizzeria” they tossed me out like yesterday's breadsticks. You know, to the raccoons that we feed at night. Or used to I say. It was usually my job to feed the critters behind the store. Someone started doing it but stopped for a while but the raccoons and cats were used to it so I made sure they were taken care of. Hope they are okay now.

Taking everyone down with me!

Clearly I am in angry shock, not wanting to accept that this has happened. As all the important people in my life have pointed out this job was really the bottom of the barrel and I deserved better. A quick history of posts about my job will confirm this. However it doesn't change the fact that I don't deserve to be fired. I deserved to have a dramatic I QUIT moment, with bells and whistles. I deserve to go AHA try and get along without me. I don't deserve to be treated this way, especially given how everything went down. Obviously there needs to be more explanation but for now...rage. RAGE! Must pet the cat to channel out all my rage. Just weird...not going to work this week. Weird indeed.

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Had a bad day, taking everyone down

You know those days when you realize everything is going to go downhill and nothing can stop the madness? Well today has been one of those days for me. An epic display of I hate People and People Suck. Like this would make an amazing comedy episode or movie to laugh at. Come, read about my day of woe.
  
It started off with the neighbors dog that I didn't know existed barking for an entire hour. An hour before I needed to be awake. And as we all know I go to bed late, getting just enough sleep so every hour is critical. And since none of my neighbors have a backyard I am not sure where the dog was for a whole hour. Only that I laid there wanting to egg someone's house. 

GROSS ALERT! I have...something on my eye. Something gross like a sty. Not pink eye. In the night it decided to scab over and glue my eye shut. Glued shut. Painful city. I already need glasses, I can't wear an eye patch too! So I spent so much time in the shower trying to degrossify myself I was late to work and had to eat breakfast in the car. Sorry for the gross. :( 

Oh and apparently I will never clean anything ever again. I washed my car seat covered and it exploded all over my washing machine. I probably should have known it would end badly when it started to flake when I took it off the car seat. Then I cleaned the shower head yesterday. So sparkly and no limescale deposits. Well now there is barely any water pressure. Like I am at a cheap hotel or something. No wonder it took me forever to degross my eye! 

I got to work 3 minutes late and it was chaos in the streets. No really there was no where to park. I walk in and there are 10 kids and their parents in the backroom for a “party”. Aka momager threw her friends a party for free and they tipped her $20 and she got to keep all the money. So while I am running around trying to do her job and my job at the same time she is fawning all over these people. Tons of school orders coming out of the oven and when I called her over to help she ignores me. 

Can people read? Or pay attention? Because we don't open til 11:00 am. But when I came in at 10:33 there were people and they were rude on top of the intial rude of not paying attention. Like um there is no ice in the ice machine. There is no tea made. You do know that your open sign isn't on right? Well that is because.....WE AREN'T OPENED YET! We do all those things BEFORE opening the store. Can I please be allowed to lock the door now? 

So....when people call and I ask if they are going to pay cash or charge what part of that means personal check? I said no ma'am just school checks. She then goes on and on about how she has written personal checks every week for her order and I just don't know. Welll....no. So then she said was going to leave her credit card up at the front office. I was like no ma'am I need the numbers now to run the card. She asked why I couldn't run it when I got there. Um where THROUGH MY ASS CHEEKS?! Needless to say I didn't get a tip. 

No one I work with can count. I mean I am not the greatest speller but I might be one of the best ones in the store too. Of they were giving pies to walk up people and didn't replace the pies they were giving away. Because I realized for my big order I was missing two pies. I went to figure out which ones we needed when momager decided to take the 4 years on a tour of the employee only areas of the store. Yes. Exactly. And they were taking pictures like tourist. Did I mention it was busy?! So I couldn't reach the area I needed to count the pizzas and I was going to be late. I get upset over all this nonsense and the momager calls ma name. Real professional. It takes forever to get the pizzas from the store to my car because I was dodging kids and their inattentive parents. So much for PAYING customers. 

As I struggle to get 25 pizzas in my car I noticed what looks like the health inspector walking towards the store. Suddenly I was no longer struggling and I ran for the hills. Nothing could be blamed on me if I wasn't there right? WRONG! Am I delusional? Apparently I should have stayed in the store and helped the new guy not make mistakes I didn't know he was making. Because there aren't 5 different hand washing signs around the store. He also stuck his clean drinking cup in the ice machine to get some ice for himself and got pinged. Clearly all my fault! 

Onward with my 25 pies. 24 to one school. I get there and unload them all by myself because it is my job. It would be easier if the people near the door saying AW poor girl would open said door or move out of the way but meh. I go to give them the reciept but apparently the boss who was the one shoving the pizzas in the bag after momager lost her mind forgot to put it in despite me asking about it. No problem I know the total. They hand me...a personal check. Is this real life?!?!? I call my boss since the amount is high and he is like oh...what can you do? Um train people better? Say no? Something to stop the glares I am getting right now? Because clearly I should know they said personal check because I work every day and take every order ever. Duh. 

Onward to my next delivery. To a junior high school. Guess what happens? I am mistaken for a student. See I was in a teacher's only area trying to find who ordered the pizza. Junior high. JUNIOR HIGH! Isn't that 14? 14?! Oh my life. At least I got tipped but for real...this isn't the first it has happened. 

Make it back to the store. Kids and health inspector gone. Blame is on me. Oh and I got yelled at for not making the kids dessert. Um when was I supposed to do that hooker? I was already doing your job and mine?! I have to deliver pizzas eventually! I go to text this all to my friend and break a nail. The time is now 12:30. What the hell?! 

The phone rings. It's our evening oven person. He is “cough cough” sick. This kid has a magical disease that flairs up every work day but never on his days off. Magical. Well this is bad. I text co-worker this and he volunteers to be the oven person. So naturally when I tell momager this she nominated the other available coworker to spite me. Because it affects me how? Phone rings. It is our evening pizza maker. He is sick. Is it Sunday yet?! 

I'm hungry. Time to eat. Only momager is on a personal call and the pizza maker is not in the store. So when the phone rings I have to get it. What break? It's someone from a school 10 miles from our store and we have a 5 mile delivery area. I tell her this nicely and it's upset city. She ordered last week (sound familiar?)!!!!! She orders all the time. Because clearly this is my first day and I know nothing. She yells more and hangs up on me. I go back to eating but then the momager yells at me for not asking what day she ordered? Probably because she didn't stupid? Oh no momager thinks the order is real and she wants to yell at someone. 

Fathead comes in. Fathead is the name I use for the other life giver. Momager and Fathead have recently finalized their divorce but things are still awful. There was a check book and yelling and they decided this needed to go down in the lobby of our store. Very professional. Have I mentioned I decided I am a starfish and just am a creature of myself, no life givers in my existence? 

Coworker that I texted came in. I try to tell him my happy news about the annual Disney pass when he tells me...he got a job somewhere else and is putting in his two weeks notice. Dead God, it's me Tenchi. WHAT THE HELL?! If he leaves I will be left with ONE other employee that will not mess up 75 percent of the time. ONE! That is it. My life started to flash before my eyes. He tried to apologize so I told him the gross story of my eye and he nearly throws up. Revenge. 

Someone comes in and orders some food to go. I ring her up and life is good. Her daughter joins her from the car and says dad has decided to eat it. So I take the ticket and write at the bottom HERE and get the plates and silverware together. When momager can't read the HERE part she decides to get an attitude and point the carry out portion of the ticket that is no longer visible, asking why someone would mess up on the ticket? So I take all the tickets off the pin from that day and start pointing out all the mistakes she had made. Suddenly it is time for me to go home. No idea why. Do you? 

And that my friends...was May 16th, 2013. Add in the fact I didn't get my Build a Bear coupons for last month in my e-mail and I have decided this day does not exist. Or that I am not allowed to have any other bad days for at least the next three months. Did I mention the AC is broken at our store?! Just....just...is it Sunday yet?

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Customers hate Christmas

Hello there my lovely readers. How are you this holiday season? There are a bunch of holidays coming up so I am sure this applies to anyone reading. If not...well take advantage of all the sales that will be going on soon or right now. XD Make it a holiday for yourself.

Where I live a few different holidays are coming up/going on yet many of my customers are not in the holiday spirit. Of course people should be treated with respect/kindness/bare minimum social norms on a daily basis but nothing can kill YOUR holiday mood more than people being nasty or trying to take advantage of people around this time. We are all working to have a nice holiday season so try to treat everyone with a little more...whatever the situation calls for. Between shopping, hosting out of town guests, making big meals, and other holiday stress we all need a bit more smiles in our lives.  

Our pizzeria has a coupon out in a certain magazine. I won't state what the coupon is but people would be a fool not to use it. There are actually several coupons that have varying degrees of savings but at least one coupon is worth anyone's time. The problem is this magazine gets released all over my part of Florida. We tried to localize it but it still gets sent out to people way, way out of our large delivery area.

This pisses people off to no end, finding out that our shop is more than 5 miles away from them. Well I have gotten people pissed off at me for being 1 mile away but those are different kinds of special. We get people calling all the time asking where we are located because they have never heard of us and I know they are going to use this coupon. They are going to come in, use the coupon, and never see us again. Advertising that is not working. I say this with confidence because these people are over 30 minutes away. It would not be worth their time to come back over and over again. It just takes so much time to explain where our restaurant is in regards to where they are. Especially when people are like “how do I get to your place?”. Well how about you tell me where you are. Or use this little thing called the internet and look it up? Because while I am good giving directions from nearby places IE places we deliver to I am not a map for the entire 50 mile radius this magazine gets released.

Then there are people who can't read. This coupon clearly states on it EXCLUDING delivery. I have had people argue with me that excluding means included, like they didn't know there was a difference in the words. I have no words for people like that. Well I do but obviously they aren't nice. I have had people tell me they will just pay the difference when the driver gets there. How generous of them! Only no. Thanks for not making the rules. And then I have people who are told their totals over the phone, tell us how they are going to pay (cash or charge), and when the driver gets the door they hand them this coupon. Like um no you said you are going to pay cash and while this coupon is printed on paper we are going to need U.S. currency. Either way I end up hearing about it, because I was the driver on the delivery or I answer the phone when the customer calls complaining that they have no money and how dare we not warn them about this rule. In case you are wondering this print is not tiny at the bottom. It is same size as the rest of the print on the coupon. Please be reading.

Speaking of reading...does anyone else in the customer service industry experience such problems? I have worked in various jobs in customer service and this job seems to have the worse customers. Like a person might experience 10 percent bad customers, 80 percent normal customers, and 10 percent friendly/lovely/amazing customers. At this job it seems like I have 10 percent good customers, 30 percent normal customers, and 60 percent awful customers. Like didn't pass 2nd grade because they can't read, have horrible comprehension skills, and are ready to argue any point no matter how wrong they are. I think these people have been cast from society, that everyone else has agreed to stop serving them. They have all made their way to our shop because no one else will accept them. X___X Please take them back. 

Case in point is this coupon thing. It clearly states it cannot be used in conjunction with any other coupon/offer and people can only use one coupon per table. So people come in and want to use 3 coupons and I am like....no. You can only use one. Then they run outside to get their kids/whoever was in the car and say okay one coupon per person. Unless your 5 year old can pay the bill no. And it says per table. Are you and your husband going to sit at different tables? I didn't think so. So....why are you trying to argue with me on what this offer clearly states. When I go out and use coupons I make sure to actually read the rules. Like if it states 20 percent off anything in the store excluding purses I am not going to buy a purse and argue that it is a backpack and demand to speak to a manager. Coupons/offers always have rules and I think ours are lenient and clear enough that people should accept them. We are actually in a business to make money. We are not a soup kitchen.

But the biggest offenders of my last comment seem to be schools and churches. For some reason they think just because they are nonprofit they deserve everything for free. With schools we might not have a choice as many pizza places offer them discounts and we have to do the same to stay competitive. They do push my limit and patience though when our discount is not good enough. Its for the kids! Well since it is 2 o clock in the afternoon and all the kids have gone home I am thinking it is for you. Also how can you cry poor and ask for a discount when you don't tip your driver? I mean it might be common sense if they are working in a budget they might not have enough money to tip. But tipping should be considered IN the budget. If you go out to eat and your meal is $19.99 you bring enough money to cover the stated price, the tax, and the tip. Also if teachers are complaining they don't have enough money do they ever stop and think HEY I actually make more than a delivery driver? No? Just thinking about yourself? Pick your pies and stop feigning ignorance. 

I guess I just get pissed off that people at churches are asking for a bigger discount than we already give them. Funny how these people keep crying non profit non profit but have paying positions at these churches and think that 10 percent is good enough for god/state but zero percent is good enough for the drivers. At what point do they think the drivers are making money if the church is paying half of what everyone else is charged for carryout when they are getting delivered? Do they think I make the rules and thus are punishing me by not handing out a tip? Well if I made the rules there would be a whole lot less discounts. While I have been commenting a lot about my job I have noticed while being out and about people in general have been in such a rush this holiday season and unnecessarily rude to others. Cars taking up two or more parking spots. People cutting in lines and pretending like they didn't see the mass of people standing before the register. Complaining that things are out of stock when really you wanted until the last minute to buy something. People who decide they no longer want a gallon of milk so they decide to leave it in the stuffed animal section with the toys. Just things like that make me think...okay maybe it just isn't our customers but society as a whole becoming less and less considerate.

In closing because I don't want to be too negative so close to Christmas....be kind everyone! We are all busy and broke and trying to squeeze as much Christmas fun into our full schedules. People need to stop acting like their actions don't have consequences and that they are the only ones late, on the road, and behind on everything. Take a deep breath, realize that two of 20 jeans aren't worth beating someone up over, and eat a Christmas cookie. Now that all of this is off my chest....time to get back into the Holiday Spirit. WOOHOO The Grinch is on and there are cookies to eat. Can't let customers get me down all time right? XD

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Tenchi Twilight Zone. Even my potential co-workers are AWESOME!

Just thought I share a bit of fun stuff with you readers. I promise anime has been watched and is currently being blogged (Oh you special show Guilty Crown) but this was too special to not share right away.

Being the classy pizzeria we are we tend to get colorful people apply for jobs. I ask people to leave their name, number, work schedule, whether or not they own a car/car insurance, and to write anything that might make them right for the job. The words RELEVANT WORK EXPERIENCE left my mouth.

This is what one special person left as RELEVANT WORK EXPERIENCE!

Names hidden to protect the innocent. The innocent person being me of course.

Do you see what I could potentially be working with?! Everyone thought this response was amazing and we should hire him on the spot. Why because he is a bigger moron than you and it will make you seem smarter?

Granted...I might find it humorous. On a fake application online or something. Maybe a goof with friends. But I have enough morons without throwing a jokester in the ring.

In conclusion...this guy will probably be hired on Friday because I live in the Twilight Zone. Back to anime. Watch as Another turns from a Horror show to a Slasher flick!

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This just in: All my co-workers suck!

Before I hop into some anime posts I am going to share a bit of the insanity I experience each and everyday at work.

Yes I do complain a lot about my job (but are happy to be employed/making money) but maybe I should focus more on anime in my anime posts. XD Keep the crazy confined in the crazy post. Well not crazy right Guilty Crown? Maybe just WTF.

In any event I was slightly pissed off when yet again I was blamed for someone's obvious mistake. But this time I got proof! Let's play a game. Look at the two images I am about to post and guess which one I wrote! I warn you this might be a really hard game folks!

Picture ONE!

Picture TWO!

Did we take a good hard look? I will give you a few minutes to make your final choices.

If you picked two I HATE YOU. XD But yes my ticket is the first ticket. Notice how everything is nice and clear. Legible even. Shorthand is acceptable at my store yet I write things out the most out of everyone there. So people can actually read my tickets and not question whether or not a random mark is a P or a GP.

The second ticket is the sad attempt of my co-worker. See all the highlighted stuff? Yeah that is what my boss added to the ticket after he had call the customer back. Of course he had to go through the phone logs as a phone number was not taken by my co-worker. Without knowing the lingo of our pizza place whose ticket makes more sense?

I am posting this because my co-worker forgot to make the turnover on my ticket and said it was my fault for not writing bigger, that he couldn't see it. Funny how he was able to make the pizza even though it was the exact same size as the turnover.

THEN it turns out he made the turnover WRONG after the fact. You know, after the customer sat there and waited longer to get said turnover because it wasn't made in the first place. WHERE ON MY TICKET DOES IT SAY MUSHROOMS?!

So there you have it folks. Proof that I work with morons and even my little smiling faces in the carry/out box can't save my tickets. Clearly it is my fault. I should write tickets more like him! Then each and every order could be a massive headache I MEAN FUN TIME!

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Tenchi verses the Oven!

Going by the title this will probably not end well right? XD

Psht you are lucky I had no Hello Kitty stickers at work. Otherwise my wound would look FABulous!

Oven 2 Tenchi 1


I guess given how long I have worked at this pizza places two "OWWWW" burns isn't that bad. Probably overdo for a burn. It is the oven's way of teaching me a lesson and learning to respect its great power. Fear the oven, become overly cautious.

The actually burn is in the very gross bubble up and ooze phase. The butterfly is better yes?

The downside is that blogging is going pretty slow as I usually rest my wrists on the laptop. I am coming Black Rock Shooter and Guilty Crown!

Oh and if this DOES leave a scar (my last one is barely noticeable) I am probably going to get a lot of looks. Yeah right there on my wrist folks. Le sigh.

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New Year, Same Job, Lots of Crazy

For the past few months I have tried my hardest to be more positive at work. Which is pretty hard to do since it is just my attitude that has changed. Nothing at work has. Same horrible co-workers, same horrible customers. Well I guess the only thing that has changed is I lost one of my days because my co-worker was called out on being lazy. So clearly I was the one who needed to leave, not the guy new to that day. Clearly.

So while I know it is just pizza and it is not the end of the world….I am still an angry pizzeria delivery girl. Yes other people have bigger problems out there but that doesn’t negate the fact that I work with and deal with morons.

Maybe I am just feeling more sensitive because of our family lose last week. Like why can’t people just treat each other with respect? Like how they would want to be treated? People don’t know what troubles others are going through. So when I am feeling crummy because my precious kitty died I really wish people would sit back and not overreact to stupid situations. It is just pizza folks.


I am not invisible. People might think I am with the way they drive but no folks I do actually exist. So is there a reason why twice in one month the same woman has talked about me IN FRONT OF ME but then acted like I was the rude one? I mean…I guess it was nice that she explained her reasoning on why she was never going to tip any of the drivers. Nice in the way that we know she will always act like that and it is nothing that we ever did. But today when said woman went “Oh mom THIS girl is who I was talking about” and then all eyes were on me…yeah I am pretty sure that was really, really uncalled for. X__X What did I do anyway to be THAT girl?

I am on the phone with a customer. Line 2 is on hold. There is a customer at the register. There are three pizzas that need to be cut. So when the other driver walks in and the third line starts ringing what does he do? Calmly puts up his money and goes to the back to do three dishes. Customer at the counter is like @_@ and the woman on the phone asks me why the other line is ringing so loudly. But when the boss man was told of this information he said I should have put the third line on hold. Oh I see.

I was accused of being racist. In my world I tend to call it being busy but I will let you judge. Boss man LEAVES the store for two hours. Two employees are in the back doing “prep” (aka cutting up and doing random crap). One driver is on the road but has LOST his delivery ticket so he has no idea where he is going or how to get a hold of the customer. The other driver is on the road but FORGOT part of his order. The oven person is literally dancing in front of the ovens while practically burning pizzas. Momager is busy trying to train our new AND ONLY pizza maker in the store (like it was hour 6 of him being in the store). So that left me to answer the phones, ring up customers, rearrange the furniture in the store because 20 customers came in at the same time to dine in, cut the pizzas, make salads/breadsticks, and deal with an angry customer on the phone because Driver number 1 (well I am number one but you know XD) didn’t give them all their order and promised to return over an hour ago. So dear customers I was not ignoring you because of your color. I am simply TOO BUSY to keep on asking you how your meal was. I took your order, made sure the stupid oven boy didn’t burn it, and dropped it off at your table saying if you need anything else just ask me. Since you did not ask I sorta just…you know…did the 438973 million other things I just said. But thanks for calling the store and saying I have poor customer service skills. Because the economy isn’t bad enough already with customers lying on me and trying to get me fired.

Dear customer you amuse me. I am afraid of large dogs. Especially your large dog which looks like you treat poorly. Tied to a post with what looked like a cord. So maybe I was slightly startled on how close the dog was to the front door. But that is not the reason why I was standing on the side, away from the dog. The reason I was off in the grass and not directly in front of the door was because your dog took a huge dump in front of the door. So when you were busy laughing at me for being scared of a dog I was busy laughing at you for stepping in dog poo. XD

Please do not call me a liar. You asked me the price of a one topping pizza. I told you. You then proceeded to order what many would consider a supreme pizza (5 toppings and over). When you came to the store you had a fit over the price difference. I appreciation you trying to explain to me the girl on the phone told you a certain price and that I should honor it. Because obviously I wasn’t present for the first conversation. Thanks for jogging my memory. And calling me a liar.

No we do not have French Fries. Or wings. Or whatever you just said-eggplant. Yes I am telling you the truth. I am a liar again? Because you are looking at our website and it says spaghetti and pasta meals? Oh I see. Well we don’t have a website. Never have and probably never will. But now I am lying about us not having a website? Okay then. Why don’t you just come in and pick up your French Fries, antipasto, and whatever the eggplant thing is. Your total is $100. Thank you.

Why yes water is free. Pretty sure by law we have to give tap water out for free. But our water is not brown and fizzy. Pretty sure that is what most people call soda. So why did you tell my boss that we overcharged you for your pizza and two waters when clearly both of you have sodas? And why did my boss believe you and apologize for the mistake and refund your money? Oh yes because this is the Twilight Zone.

When I pick up the phone I don’t want to be screamed at. Just not a fun experience. But let me find out why you are screaming. You want to know where your pizza is. Well according to your order you got a carry-out special. Deliveries tend to have things like addresses, totals, and methods of payments. So…your pizza will be in the store. I say will be because you ordered about 10 minutes ago and it hasn’t made it to the oven yet. So even if it was a delivery we are not magic. Oh now I am a liar because you ordered an hour ago and you gave the person your address. Well according to our phone records you called 10 minutes ago. And while my co-workers are very, very dumb they would not forget an entire address. They might spell it wrong, get the numbers wrong, and not tell you your total but they would never forgot the entire thing. But then boss man came around and issued you a credit for your nonlate pizza. Yay free food!

And all of this happened in one week folks. Like I am trying to have a Happy New Year and this is what I have to deal with. And yes one of my co-workers had a ticket FLY out of his car when he was taking a turn. The same co-worker who got in a car accident and then LEFT the scene of the crime. And yet he is still at work and I am in trouble for….well I don’t know what for. But this is my job folks. I am tired. Le sigh. Good thing I have my anime and manga to escape to. If I didn’t I would probably go crazy…..

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Struggles in Pizza Land

I am going to work very soon and I am dreading each second that passes. There are now only 4 people left to run the store (including myself) and 4 drivers. Surely we shall die.

I know I complain A LOT about my job and I tried to cut back on that last month as natural disasters that kill over 10k people are much more important issues that me being all RARW about work. However life moves on and every person has crap in their little world. People have a right to complain and be unhappy even if there are other people out there who have it worse than them.

That and some days the only thing that got me through work was my countdown to Japan. And given the situation that either might not happen or it is not as joyous as it could be. Like I almost wish the countdown was longer so it would give Japan more time to heal.


But yes folks things are going to be shit tonight. Not that they were shit yesterday or the day before. I mean yesterday I got yelled at because I brought pizza to a concession stand. Don’t I know they didn’t order the pizzas because they only sell food?! Also I got called a fucking bitch c**t because someone almost ran into my car twice. Obviously me being mad about almost being killed was rude and MOG she was almost late to work. But hitting my car driving like a maniac would make her go to work faster. And after I got back from my awesome deliveries I was stuck running the front and trying to clean up all the messes my co-workers left in my absence.

However it will really hit the fan tonight. One of my co-workers who ACTUALLY does work got fired tonight. By the bosses wife. Who has nothing to do with the business. And for a reason that has nothing to do with the business. I won’t go into details but basically if I was treated the way my co-worker has been by this woman I would have quit and slapped her in the face. There is absolutely no reason for her to be fired morally speaking.

But on a logical, practical sense speaking firing her is the biggest mistake ever! She was the only one who did the ovens on Saturday night. Actually since someone left in January she has been the ONLY person doing the ovens on the weekend. She was hired to help with the front so I have back up. But now I am riding solo and she was stuck on the ovens. So basically tonight we will have two people making all the pizzas, someone on ovens who HATES them, and me answering all the phones, cutting all the pizzas, making all the side items, and ringing everyone up.

This will only end in beers. But since I don’t like beers it will probably end in a screaming match with me sobbing in the corner afterwards. And since I was nearly FIRED myself for being mad over a legit issue I am on thin ice already. So folks….if you have a minute say a prayer or thought for the crazy anime blogger. Be extra kind to food workers/retail people today because they might be short staffed, getting yelled at by random people, and have no breaks at all.

The moral of the story is just be nice to people and patient with non emergency purchases. Hopefully I shall live to blog another day. If I am not blogging tomorrow obviously I am in jail. Hopefully there is no pizza in jail.

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The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Trowa.Wufei

This isn’t a truly amazing update as Officer Asshole hasn’t shown up to our store since his lies were exposed in Part Trowa. But there is a slight news in this ongoing saga so I thought I would share.

The real police officers from Part Trowa came to our store. They informed me that Officer Asshole was in the next part of town over from us and has been trying to pull the same shit. As in going in and demanding discounts at restaurants. Now I am not sure how the real police officers found out this AMAZING information but now tons of real popo know and home boy is screwed if he comes in again.

Which I hope he does. I hope he isn’t just moving on to other suckers. Please come back to our shop. I want to see you get arrested!


Nothing to see here folks. This does not exist.

Well unless you have no idea what this post is about. Then here is Part One Part Duo and Part Trowa. Enjoy.

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Nendoroid Miyuki's Pizza Girl Day

Behold people!!! I have way too much time on my hand!!!!

But you know you love it. XD

But yes I am trying to create a little fun at work. And what better way to have fun than dragging a cute little Nendoroid around and watching my co-worker's amused faces at me taking pictures? XD Miyuki from Lucky Star might look shy and somewhat in the background but at my house she is always trying to be the one picked for adventures!!! So she got her wish today and she helped out at the pizza place. Enjoy all the pictures that will slow down your computer.

Wait the bag should be flat?

Much better Miyuki. Pizzas should be flat. They should not be carried like briefcases. We aren't silly customers.

Next Miyuki needs to help fold these WONDERFUL BOXES! Boxes that cause paper cuts and take forever to fold and by the end of the week all 100 are gone and you have to start again. Have fun!!!

Miyuki!!!! Those are the clean trays. Come help Tenchi clean the 48783276 ones in the back!

Miyuki has decided she will help roll dough. That or she wanted to find out how much she weighs. She weighs practically nothing at all X_X.

Dear co-worker. Nendoroids do not belong in cheese grinders. Thank you.

Oh snap time for a delivery. Quick get the drink carrier.

Time to hit the road. Typically one does not sit on pizzas but since Miyuki is only like 5 ounces I will let it slide.

Miyuki is riding in style. One day my entire car ceiling will be covered in anime pins. For now the 50ish I have will just have to do.

Tenchi doesn't need to see out the window. Plushies for everyone!!!

Oh snap the phone is ringing. Make sure you greet the customer politely. Picture cut because I pretend people are going to hunt me down at my pizzeria if a tiny bit of something is showing.

Okay so you took an order for a pizza. Now we have to make it. And by make it I mean don't sit in the blue tray!!

That is a much better job than I would have done stretching a pizza. It isn't easy folks.

Since Miyuki worked so hard today I decided I would reward her with a pizza.

Or an alien brain. I either made a pizza or an alien brain.

Miyuki is going to take her lunch break now. Thanks for stopping by. Or also no customers yelled at Miyuki today so I don't think she got the full pizzeria experience. XD

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The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Trowa

So many customer rant stories in January. X__X What a way to start off the year! I promise next month to tone down how many posts I have about EVIL PEOPLE WHO COME TO MY STORE. XD I just wanted to get all this off my chest while it is still relevant and fresh in my mind.

Sadly this will be the last part of this ongoing series. Unless Officer Asshole returns. Then Part Quatre will be AMAZING. Well if I am present it will be amazing. But yes I am almost wishing for a Part Quatre because I want closure. And revenge. As long as I don’t get hit by a car or something.

In any event spoilers for Tenchi accidentally ruining someone’s life?

Also here are Part One and Part Duo in case someone is unfamiliar with what I am talking about or need a refresher since I have a lot of jerk customers. XD

So after being told the exciting events of The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Duo I was waiting. Waiting for Officer Asshole to come in and ask for his discount again. And hoping I would be the person who he asked. BECAUSE I WAS READY.

One morning a bunch of regular police officers came in. In uniform. And didn’t ask for a discount. Because they aren’t assholes. I was in and out doing deliveries but after a few I had a tiny break to ask them a question. A question that would probably explain why Officer Asshole doesn’t come in uniform to get his discount.

I asked one of the officers if one keeps their badge after they retire from the force. Because if so that would explain why Officer Asshole comes in with plain clothes on. Because he doesn’t HAVE a uniform anymore. Momager after the fact says he is too young to be retired. Well in my mind he might not be able to perform the duties of a police officer anymore due to the fact that he looks really out of shape. Or maybe he was injured on the job. In any event there was really no underlining reason for me asking. No malice intent, not evil thoughts. I really just wanted to know if someone could have a police badge and not be an active police officer.

The police officers explain to me that one can buy their badge after leaving the force but they wouldn’t have the corresponding paper thingy number stuff. Obviously not what they said but basically when a police officer shows his badge he has to show you his number too. I go oh okay and try to walk away. Police officers then want to know why I asked. So I tried to be brief (me brief HAHAHAHAH) and say there is a police officer who comes in and demands discounts and I was just wondering if he was retired.

Well then the police officers wanted to know his name. I went and got the piece of paper hanging near the register to warn all the employees about Officer Asshole. I meant to get the paper because I didn’t know how to pronounce the dude’s last name. But on the paper it had the entire story of what happened and Officer Asshole’s phone number.

Well the police officer writes down both his number and Officer Asshole’s name. Another one goes out to the car to do something. And another one tells me that the next time Officer Asshole comes in to ask to see his badge number and to write down his car tag. The police officer says that no one on the force expects a discount let alone will ask for one. That they appreciate businesses that do offer a discount but one does not demand it and it reflects badly on the entire force. And I was also told to throw out Officer Asshole if he does return. All amazing stuff.

By this time momager is drilling holes in my head. Like I really did this on purpose. I was just asking a question. But I had another delivery to take and I had to go. BOOOOOOOO. On I go thinking AHA maybe victory is within my grasp. Mog people. You have no idea.

I get back to the store and the amount of police officers has double. Some are talking outside and some are talking inside. X__X Wtf did they all go on break together? Well I get back in the store and I am told right away that Officer Asshole is not a police officer in this state and in fact the name on the paper belongs to a child in another city.

Well then folks. WELL THEN.

Officer Asshole….isn’t even a police officer? I mean I guess he COULD HAVE BEEN in another state and he still has his badge. But the REAL police officers are thinking no, this is not the case. And at the very least he is impersonating a police officer now. And the cops really want to find out who he is. X___X

So in conclusion readers…do not demand a discount from a store while pretending to be a police officer. Because if you act enough like an asshole I will accidentally put the real police on alert and your ass could be grass.

XD See why I want him to come in again?

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Someone has poisoned the water hole! And all my customers are drinking from it!

For real people. Someone must have poisoned the water hole. That is the only way to explain why today was SO CRAPPY.

Oh and sorry for posting two work rants in a row. XD I will post Part Trowa of Officer Asshole later next week to not make my blog full of angry thoughts. Also I see Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica episode 2 is up and subbed. I will try to get that blogged that as soon as possible.

Time to venture into the bizarro world that is my life. The only good things that came out of today is my husband and I sorta bonded over my destroyed finger and I got to watch Camilla on the Housewives of Beverly Hills get what was coming to her. XD HE WILL NEVER FULFILL YOU!!!!


I am playing an online game that is having a lot of quests right now. Said game decided to CHANGE the date of the rewards for the quest (wonder what game I am talking about) and I needed only ONE ITEM to finish it. However it is easier to get this item when you are not logged in. Like a dumbass I left the computer on after I got ready for work. Go me, this day will be brilliant.

Forgot my cellphone at work. That is something one should not really forget. Especially today, the day of dumbasses. NOT THAT ANYONE PICKED UP THEIR PHONES.

A certain SOMEONE (ie not me) took a delivery order and failed to ring up the credit card. -___- Since I caught it before I left the store it wasn’t THAT upsetting. Just rarw. But this CERTAIN SOMEONE failed to write down what school the delivery was for. Like you know how some elementary schools have the same name as a junior high and they are close to each other? Yeah it was that kinda deal. But I HEARD this certain someone say Oh are you the XX school so I took that to mean it was XX since I was not told otherwise. Off I went to XX school. I was told that the person was going to be waiting outside which is -___- already but okay.

I get to XX school…and it just got out. People everywhere X____X. So I go um…and call the number on the paper. No answer. I walk all around the sea of people and brave getting run over by parents to see if anyone claims their pizza. No go. Go to the office. The office lady was VERY helpful and tried to help me locate who the pizzas belong to. Call the number again. Office Lady calls the number. Office Lady pages the entire campus. No one. WTF where is this person? Call the store and A CERTAIN SOMEONE goes oh it was YY school. -___- Anger folks.

Get to YY school. Again there are TONS of kids outside. I walk around and no one claims the pizza. Go to the office to see if they can page this person. Out of the 6 people behind the check in desk zero knew how to operate the paging system. Also they wouldn’t call the person (as I left mine in the car) because it was a long distant number. So I sat there and rotted until someone who did know how to run the paging system came. The customer RUSHED IN (so fast they HAD to see me pull up) and was like I WAS OVER THERE. Oh okay because you had a sign on stating so.

After I received NO TIP I…kindly told the customer that the reason we ask for a phone number is so we can call when there is a problem. I got a glare. AMAZING. I leave to DASH to the next delivery which got there pretty damn late. Tried to give away the pizza away for free because that sucks to wait for so long. Man insists on paying half. Dash to the gas station. 25 dollars, 8 gallons, my heart bleeds. Get back to the store and “ask” for an apology from A CERTAIN PERSON who proceeds to blame the entire situation on me. And tells me that the customer called back to talk to the owner because I was RUDE to them. Funny how they can find their damn phone now right?!

A CERTAIN PERSON takes an order for delivery…when the person is at the counter. As in they already paid for it and couldn’t be bothered to wait. Woohoo another non tip for me.

After no tip delivery I go to a fast food place. Co-worker gave me money to buy him something and I could use the change to buy myself something. Both somethings were ice cream products. There was only 1 person in front of me. Also the way this place is set up we were the ONLY two people there at the time. 10 minutes later and there are 3 cars behind me. I am seeing red. The car in front of me gets their food. A car that pulled up after the 5 of us gets their food. The car BEHIND ME gets their ice cream. The girl stops by my car and says that my stuff isn’t ready. I told her not to bother since it is obviously too hard to put some ice cream in a cup and put whipped cream on top.

Got back to the store and called said fast food place. When I called I wasn’t put on hold but merely set on the counter. HMMM are they talking about me? Manager gets on the phone and says there is no reason that I should have waited so long for my ice cream products. That if someone only orders ice cream products they will get theirs before the food because it is so simple to make. HMM PEOPLE HMMM!!

After eating a really late lunch I am off to do the dishes. Trying to joke with co-workers about my sucky day. Finished the dishes and tried to drain the sink. The owner had gotten new drain plug. Said drain plug was super hard to grip and had jagged edges. So in a store with countless knives, cutters, and a pretty dangerous meat cutter I slice my finger open on a drain plug.

Of course now hours later and a good look at my cut it doesn’t LOOK that bad. But at the time my hand was drenched with blood and it was dripping all over the floor. And since A CERTAIN PERSON can’t stand blood the only people to help me had the average age of 17. Oh lord help me now.

After reassuring myself I wasn’t going to die it was time to take more deliveries. First one didn’t give me any tip at all even after she gushed that I was early, sorry for being difficult, and me making sure her dog didn’t run down the road. OKAY THEN! Second delivery was in a weird apartment place that has no numbers on the side of the building. And she didn’t have her light on. And she lived upstairs. Don’t mind me, I will bleed quietly in the dark, lost with no way to find you.

Third delivery is to a hospital. Before I left the store I realize the section of the hospital was not written on the ticket. Counter person calls them back. The customer says that I should just go to the front desk and the person at the desk will call her from there. If it was the simple I would not be complaining about it. Manage to find a spot at the hospital that wasn’t a mile away. Get to the front counter and no one is there. But there is someone nearby surfing the web ignoring me. Amazing. I stand in front of her and pretend that the wall is the most amazing thing in the world. It wasn’t.

Finally the woman noticed me and I was like Hi I need this person to be paged/called like I was told. Woman says um the phone is over THERE……Okay then. I go to the phone and it keeps saying it is busy. A patient sitting there says you have to dial 9 to make the phone work. THANK YOU SICK PERSON. So I call three times and I get no answer. Amazing. Woman who wasn’t doing her job kept saying MISS MISS How can I help you?! Oh now you want to do your job? I tell her to go back to surfing the web and I go over to the map on the wall. Because when there was no answer there was a recording of the place I needed to go to. Only I couldn’t find it on the map. Probably because it didn’t exist.

A doctor on her break comes by and helps me locate where I need to be. Only the person with the money is not there. And isn’t answering anyone’s phone calls. Because leaving the money at the place I need to be would make sense. Customer’s co-worker says “you aren’t in a hurry right?”. Because this isn’t a tip orientated job or anything. Finally another co-worker comes with the money and TWO shiny dollars for me. TWO WHOLE DOLLARS!!!!!! Because I am not even worth 5 percent people.

Get back to the shop to find out that the customer at the hospital had called 3 times wondering where her pizzas were. So I got my purse and coat, bid my co-workers goodbye, and walked to my car. Where I screamed my head off until I was fit to drive.

And that my friends is a sucky day. 1 down, how many more to go in the year 2011? Hopefully only one a month. I can’t afford bail.

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The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Duo!!!

Why hello there my friends. Instead of getting caught up on Hakuouki Hekketsuroku like I promised I figured haha let’s put that off for one more day and blog about some jerks I know. Because everyone loves jerks.

That and how much more fail can one person take in the Winter Anime season right? XD Of course I could just watch for the pretty boys like I do Starry Sky…

But in any event it is time for part two of one of the rudest customers at our store to date. And given how many asshole customers we have that is saying a lot. Here is part one for those who need a refresher.


Part two of our amazing adventure has nothing to do with me. :( I know, tis very sad. Part three is ALL ABOUT ME THOUGH. XD But yeah we were out of town when this occurred so all I have is second hand information. But since everyone said the same thing I choose to believe things went down pretty much as they said it did.

But my co-workers also suck for not informing me of this wonderful mess the second I came back to work. I got an OH YEAH when it finally came up. Because I would have been telling every single person that came in the door if this was my news.

Before we went on vacation Officer Asshole came back to our store. Not to apologize. Well unless you think this is an apology “Sorry I called that girl’s mom dumb”. This was said to momager, the person he called dumb. So he apologized to me for hearing it but not to the person he called it too. INTERESTING FOLKS. So no he wasn’t there to apologize that he wasted our food or called an employee dumb. He was there to get his 2 dollars back.

That is right folks. This man cost us product, held up our line, CALLED MY MOM DUMB and now he wants his two dollars back. If this had happened to me (minus the dummy part but I guess that makes the story worse..) I would never show my face again to that restaurant. Never. But this man is not only an asshole but an incredibly stupid asshole.

Also my momager gave him back his two dollars. She should have given it back to him in unrolled pennies but since I was not there he got two bills back. Just rarw.

So a week goes by and we hear nothing from Officer Asshole. I figured he took his two dollars and ran. Onward we go to the coldness that is New Hampshire. We come back from the snow and the 17 degrees and a few days later our boss decides to then tell me the AWESOME STORY OF PWNESS.

It was a busy Friday night. Later a co-worker would tell me it was the worse night he had ever worked. I can imagine so since momager and I were both out of town. But tempers were short, people were lined up out the door, and tickets were everywhere. Things were so busy that the owner was answering the phones. And that is when Officer Asshole called.

The order started off okay. Okay as three people are at the counter and need to be rung up and MOG why don’t you know what you want to eat. But fake smile fake smile right? Wrong. Because then Officer Asshole had the NERVE to say this.

“Oh and usually I get a policeman discount so my total is only $XX.XX”.

A quick look at the phone and my boss was like oh great, it’s HIM. But here is the magical part of the story folks. My boss’ spine….it grew three sizes that day. This was his reply.

“We offer a policeman discount to those on duty and in uniform. Your wait is 30 minutes”.

A miracle right? Well Officer Asshole scoffed at the time and got off the phone. Seasons change and blah blah. Officer Asshole shows up and his pizzas are actually ready. Boss gets the pizzas and rings him up for two carry-out specials. Officer Asshole is SHOCKED at such the high price (see three dollars more people, this is all over three dollars) and asks where his policeman’s discount was. Please note that the dining room is still full and people are waiting behind Officer Asshole.

Boss puts on his fake smile and says like he said on the phone the discount is for on duty in uniform police officers and repeats the total. Officer Asshole just looks at him. Then…then…he looks around the store. Like the part where we work and make the pizzas. As if to look for someone else to back him up and give him the discount. AS IF HE WASN’T TALKING TO THE OWNER RIGHT NOW.

But it gets better folks. Boss says sir you either need to pay $XX.XX or leave. I have a line full of people waiting to pay. XO My boss….said these things…OUTLOUD?! The boss that gives away things for free when people cuss me out and threaten my life? WHY WASN’T I THERE?!?!

But then BUT THEN Officer Asshole ASKS FOR THE OWNER!!!! XO XO XO Why wasn’t I there people?! WHY?!?!?!? Officer Asshole mentioned before he comes here ALL THE TIME yet he doesn’t know who the owner is? Mog this is classic.

But then THEN my boss turns to….how do I put this. There is this dude who works at another pizzeria that was there helping out since momager and I were not. He sucks. Like worse person I have ever worked with my entire life. And when you picture the typical restaurant worker he is that man. Just…no. No no not the kind of person I would want to talk to. Also he has been in our restaurant a grand total of 4 times since the store opened. No one would ever take him for the owner.

Anyway my boss turns to this RANDOM MAN and says his name. Random man, who has been listening the whole time, says No policeman discount without uniform, pay $XX.XX now and goes back to work. WHY WASN’T I THERE??!?!!

Boss says then Officer Asshole got mad, paid the proper amount, and stomped out. And that customers behind Officer Asshole were disgusted with his behavior. And Tenchi cried because she was not there to witness amazingness.

BUT SHE WAS THERE FOR PART TROWA!! Stay tuned my friends!

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The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part One!!!

XO A job rant story?! How long has it been? Too long obviously. Not that people magically stopped being jerks. Just I have been too busy to blog about jerks.

But since I have a slight minute to catch up on life I thought I would share a super customer suck tale. Because really I love complaining and who doesn’t love a douchebag story? If you don’t…well I’m sorry. I do XD

Beware of the overuse of authority and general assholeness.


I shall start this story at the beginning. Of course that is where most stories begin. But from my point of view I came in after some events so not all of this is from my point of view. But since the people involved all claim the same thing happened I tend to believe this is all true.

Officer Asshole orders two pizzas over the phone, one topping each. He orders them super well done, almost to the point of burnt. His words. It was a semi busy night when he came in. I was out on a delivery. He comes in and plunks his police badge on the counter like we care and demands his policeman’s discount. Now we usually OFFER a discount when an officer comes in during his lunch break IN UNIFORM. OFFER. Important words folks. He also points to one of my co-workers as if that person is the one who gives him a discount (co-worker later says he has no idea who that guy was). But the “new” girl gave him a discount anyway and told him his new total. He gives her two dollars in loose nickels and wants the rest on some weird type of credit card. She tries it and it is declined. Dude says try again. She does and it’s declined. Again. Because nothing has happened in the last 30 seconds to change the outcome.

So now there is a hold-up at the register and my momager comes over to see what the problem is. He says he wants such and such on his credit card. Momager runs it and it is declined. Again. Officer Asshole gets mad and goes outside to call his wife.

I return from a delivery and roll my eyes that someone is illegally parked in a
handicapped spot (see Officer Asshole). Get out of my car and I hear Officer Asshole talking about the dummy behind the counter being too stupid to operate a credit card machine. His wife must have asked what she looked like and he described my mom. Now please remember that I was not in the store at all during this time. Also I am pretty stupid. Because I fly over to him and scream I KNOW YOU AREN’T TALKIN ABOUT MY MOMMA!!!

Yes I am still alive people and no I haven’t learned my lesson about talking to strangers.

Now….Officer Asshole doesn’t looked embarrassed, upset, or even angry. No no my readers….he laughs. Laughs in my face. Oh and says sorry, I didn’t know that was your mom. Um how about SORRY I SAID SOMETHING SO RUDE AND I SUCK?! No no? Okay.

Asshole.

I make it back into the store before he does and tell my momager what happened. But instead of ignoring his stupid self when he comes over to the counter she walks TO him. Of course when he hands her the credit card again I make the comment OH THAT IS THE DUDE WHO CALLED YOU DUMB and everyone was like XO. Officer Asshole then “explains” to my momager that there is XX.XX on the card and that she needs to ring it up correctly. She does so..and it is declined. At this point everyone wants this guy dead. He then says he is going to go to the ATM since we are obviously having problems and leaves.

So then I make sure EVERYONE knows what he said to my mom and people inform me what happened while I was going. Seeing red people. SEEING RED. You don’t ask for a discount loser! We offer it TO YOU. You are not entitled to any discount just because you have a job. If we give you one nice. But don't demand one and then make our lives harder okay!

About twenty minutes later the phone rings and I answer it. It is Officer Asshole’s wife asking why there were problems with the card. Um because you are stupid? Because you can’t count and balance your money? I don’t know why you ain’t got no money. But in any event she tells me that is all the money they have and wouldn’t it be a shame if their kids wouldn’t have pizza tonight?

Like…is she asking me to give them the pizzas for FREE? Because you know how a discount wasn’t enough. No no, we need to reach the bottom of the barrel in terms of patheticness or something.

I say something like well I guess that is a shame and hung up on her. Because I am Delivery Driver Asshole. I mean..the pizzas were so burnt no one else would want them and they were going to go to waste ANYWAY. But I wasn’t about to let that man and his family have food for free after talking about my momager that way.

By the way momager was more upset about the wasted food than the name calling. Weird.

Stay tune for part two of this ongoing saga!!! I thought I could type it all in one post but yeah. We are at 850 words already. XD Sorry. Just note that part two and part three are worse. Way worse.

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What the hell is your problem?!?!!

I usually try to space out my rant posts about my job a little better than this but seriously folks. Someone has poisoned the water hole or something.

Spoilers for ADULT LANGUAGE! XO

Am I rated R or PG-13? I forget the rules.


So I am driving along. Or at least I am trying to anyway. I am stuck behind someone who is going ten miles under the speed limit. Everyone around me is avoiding this slow person thus I can’t get out and go. Thanks slow dude. This is totally helping me out on a busy day.

Finally there is a break in traffic and I turn on my turn signal and go, as there is no one in that lane. Because that is the law and all. I start accelerating to the ACTUAL speed limit and am nearly passed slow dude when BAM he is in my lane and nearly in my engine. I slam on the breaks and scream WHAT THE FUCK to all the passengers in my car. Passengers being my purse and the empty pizza bag. Thankfully it was empty or that would have been another disaster. So yeah slamming on the breaks, fearing for my life, and praying not to wreck the car before Christmas. Or you know, splat.

They do and no one dies. Yet. Since I am not dead I take the opportunity to give the asshole a nice salute to let him know how much I appreciated his amazing driving. This is usually when someone flicks me off back or drives like a slow asshole because clearly they haven’t pissed me off enough. No no folks today was my lucky day!

Asshole SLAMS on the breaks again, stops the car in the middle of traffic, and gets out of it to scream at me.

Yes I am still alive.

WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?! I get cut off in traffic and now some lunatic is going to shoot me in the face? Okay scream at me but still. Is this the Twilight Zone? God can you hear me? It’s Tenchi. And you need to smite this asshole right now.

So according to the asshole (in between Fuck you bitch and what the fuck is your problem asshole) he turned on his signal and I shouldn’t be acting like a psychopath. Because in crazy asshole land if you turn on your signal you automatically are allowed over, despite the fact that someone else is IN the lane at that time. Really folks, what was I thinking? The Great Asshole Lord himself wanted to get over AND he used his signal. I should have read his mind and allowed him over. Or let him crash into my car. Either way not flick him off because that was RUDE.

I am not sure what part of the story is the stupidest. The part where I yelled back because I forget that I am commonly mistaken for an 8th grader, the fact that Asshole thought he was right, or that a cop drove passed this AND DID NOTHING! That is right folks. We were in the middle of a busy and full road STOPPED and cop didn’t stop to tell this asshole to move along. Or shoot him in the head. I feel super safe people.

Eventually after more yelling and profanities asshole got back in his car…and went 25 miles down the road. All the while I couldn’t get over because all the cars that were behind us before had gotten really pissed off and were changing lanes as fast as possible.

And this folks is why you should tip your pizza delivery driver. Because they might have had a near death experience seconds before arriving at your house.

Also I hate people.

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Merry Christmas to you too customers!!!

During this time of year people are in more of a hurry than usual. Shopping needs to get done, pies need to get in the oven, and people are counting down the minute until their crazy relatives leave their house. Yay Christmas, bring on the stress!

Now despite this busy time please remember those in retail and the food industry. Because they have all those stresses AND they have to serve people who are all X_X about the holidays. So here are some helpful tips on making a pizza delivery driver’s life a little easier this holiday season.

Or maybe this is just a rant post that I am cleverly disguising as helpful tips. But would I really do that? XD


Hey. Guess what customers? It gets darks around 6:15 now and by 6:30 it is pitched black. You don’t feel like driving in the dark so you order your pizza for delivery. Fine. Maybe I will make some money off you. But here are some HELPFUL TIPS on getting your pizza to your house on time. AKA how to not piss me off royally.

If you live somewhere complicated PLEASE TELL US WHEN YOU ORDER. Like oh just a normal apartment building delivery right? WRONG. Turns out that your special apartment is the only one not in order and on the completely other side of the complex from some stupid reason and I am losing my mind trying to find it. Do you want your pizza? Then help us find your house and don’t use stupid vague directions. Saying we live off So and So road when So and So road is 5 miles long IS NOT HELPFUL!

Have numbers on your mailbox. I know it just a dream if you have them on both sides of your box but maybe have them on the side that faces the most likely way to go down your street. But yes when it is pitch black outside I can’t see the numbers on your house. Hell if the numbers on your mailbox are dark enough I won’t see them either. So get WHITE NUMBERS.

Also please don’t write the numbers on your mailbox with crayon. Like really people? I know you are rednecks who probably married your sister but you could afford some stickers or something?

PUT ON YOUR DOOR LIGHT! Like okay it is dark and you have no numbers on your mailbox. But usually the international sign of I Ordered a Pizza is having your lights on. That and it helps me see the driveway! Seeing is important in my ability to deliver you pizzas.

When you fail to have numbers on your house and have the lights on when I arrive TURN THEM ON WHEN GIVING ME THE MONEY. Giving me some wadded up money and slamming the door (because I don’t deserve thank yours after all) pisses me off. Most of the time it is just your way of not dealing with the fact that you aren’t tipping me but I would like to know I am getting the right amount of money before you cut yourself off from me. Because most likely it will not end well for either of us if the money turns up short.

PUT YOUR ANIMALS UP BEFORE I GET THERE!!! Hi it’s cold outside. Alternatively it could be hot outside. Or I have 5867 other deliveries and I am trying to go as fast as possible. In any event I don’t have time for you to spend 5 minutes screaming for Fluffy to come here, for you to tell your 3 year old to hold Fluffy, or for you to open the door and Fluffy runs down the street and now you are glaring at me. PUT FLUFFY UP!!! You know I am coming. Why are you acting like no one has never come to your house since owning the dog? This never happens with cats people, NEVER! So I am staring at you dog owners. I am not amused.

Are you using a coupon? Then how about you give it to me when you hand me the money?!?! No no it is better to sigh and go back to wherever it is you think the coupon is but get mad when it is not there and mumble under your breath as you look for it? HINT it is probably by the phone! You know, since you called me and read the conditions of said coupon? But yeah keep on glaring at me as I demand a coupon from you that gives you a free pizza.

And please if you are going to leave me out in the cold, spend 5 minutes putting up Fluffy, make it impossible to find your house, and generally make my life miserable PLEASE TIP ME! Just so we are all clear out there keep the change and the change is 25 cents is not a tip. It is also the year 2010. 1 dollar was fine for 1968 but not now folks. I got presents to buy too and I can’t even afford gas if you pay me in THANK YOUS.

I bought a warmer jacket today folks. Wish me luck.

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