Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Trowa

So many customer rant stories in January. X__X What a way to start off the year! I promise next month to tone down how many posts I have about EVIL PEOPLE WHO COME TO MY STORE. XD I just wanted to get all this off my chest while it is still relevant and fresh in my mind.

Sadly this will be the last part of this ongoing series. Unless Officer Asshole returns. Then Part Quatre will be AMAZING. Well if I am present it will be amazing. But yes I am almost wishing for a Part Quatre because I want closure. And revenge. As long as I don’t get hit by a car or something.

In any event spoilers for Tenchi accidentally ruining someone’s life?

Also here are Part One and Part Duo in case someone is unfamiliar with what I am talking about or need a refresher since I have a lot of jerk customers. XD

So after being told the exciting events of The Ongoing Adventures of Officer Asshole Part Duo I was waiting. Waiting for Officer Asshole to come in and ask for his discount again. And hoping I would be the person who he asked. BECAUSE I WAS READY.

One morning a bunch of regular police officers came in. In uniform. And didn’t ask for a discount. Because they aren’t assholes. I was in and out doing deliveries but after a few I had a tiny break to ask them a question. A question that would probably explain why Officer Asshole doesn’t come in uniform to get his discount.

I asked one of the officers if one keeps their badge after they retire from the force. Because if so that would explain why Officer Asshole comes in with plain clothes on. Because he doesn’t HAVE a uniform anymore. Momager after the fact says he is too young to be retired. Well in my mind he might not be able to perform the duties of a police officer anymore due to the fact that he looks really out of shape. Or maybe he was injured on the job. In any event there was really no underlining reason for me asking. No malice intent, not evil thoughts. I really just wanted to know if someone could have a police badge and not be an active police officer.

The police officers explain to me that one can buy their badge after leaving the force but they wouldn’t have the corresponding paper thingy number stuff. Obviously not what they said but basically when a police officer shows his badge he has to show you his number too. I go oh okay and try to walk away. Police officers then want to know why I asked. So I tried to be brief (me brief HAHAHAHAH) and say there is a police officer who comes in and demands discounts and I was just wondering if he was retired.

Well then the police officers wanted to know his name. I went and got the piece of paper hanging near the register to warn all the employees about Officer Asshole. I meant to get the paper because I didn’t know how to pronounce the dude’s last name. But on the paper it had the entire story of what happened and Officer Asshole’s phone number.

Well the police officer writes down both his number and Officer Asshole’s name. Another one goes out to the car to do something. And another one tells me that the next time Officer Asshole comes in to ask to see his badge number and to write down his car tag. The police officer says that no one on the force expects a discount let alone will ask for one. That they appreciate businesses that do offer a discount but one does not demand it and it reflects badly on the entire force. And I was also told to throw out Officer Asshole if he does return. All amazing stuff.

By this time momager is drilling holes in my head. Like I really did this on purpose. I was just asking a question. But I had another delivery to take and I had to go. BOOOOOOOO. On I go thinking AHA maybe victory is within my grasp. Mog people. You have no idea.

I get back to the store and the amount of police officers has double. Some are talking outside and some are talking inside. X__X Wtf did they all go on break together? Well I get back in the store and I am told right away that Officer Asshole is not a police officer in this state and in fact the name on the paper belongs to a child in another city.

Well then folks. WELL THEN.

Officer Asshole….isn’t even a police officer? I mean I guess he COULD HAVE BEEN in another state and he still has his badge. But the REAL police officers are thinking no, this is not the case. And at the very least he is impersonating a police officer now. And the cops really want to find out who he is. X___X

So in conclusion readers…do not demand a discount from a store while pretending to be a police officer. Because if you act enough like an asshole I will accidentally put the real police on alert and your ass could be grass.

XD See why I want him to come in again?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haha, this fake!police saga is EPIC. Made me laugh as well. He totally got what was coming to him. Justice is served and all is well with the world XD. Part Quatre you say...? ;)

Christina said...

jenanime4eva- I totally WISH there was a part Quatre. For now Officer Asshole (really Officer Impersonator) has not returned to our store. Because if he did that would be the most EPIC story about my store to date. So when and if that happens I will blog about it. Probably from jail but I will blog about it. XD

This is all over him trying to save three dollars. It is so pathetic it is awesome. XD