Friday, November 21, 2014

Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryuu no Rondo episode 5

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I should fix my machine...so I can go back to hell.
A night full of posts continues! I am super tired and thought about eating ice cream to give me a boost of energy. But then I realize despite it being grocery day....there was no ice cream bought. Probably because it was and still is cold outside. HOW DARE I! Guess I will have to make do with leftover Halloween candy. By the time I make my way through all of that it will be time to buy discounted Christmas Candy wee. But enough about nice things. Let move on to crappy things. Like Cross Ange: Tenshi to Ryuu no Rondo episode 5. Spoilers for the first boy we have seen in like 4 episodes and of course he is all up on Ange's vagina. Like literally.
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Oh and Ange too. We should save Ange....
Summary of WTFness: Because Ange and Hilda are bitches to each other Hilda sabotaged Ange’s machine and Ange crashed into the ocean. The others had to stay and fight the giant dragon that had appeared in the sky. When the battle was over Salia wanted to go and save Ange’s machine…I mean Ange but she and the others were called back due to fuel and exhaustion issues. Because Ange apparently went far far away in the water and not directly under the other girls. So when Ange wakes up not dead and drowned in her machine she is rather confused. She turns that into pissed offness quite fast as she realizes she is naked, tied to a bed, and in bed with a semi naked boy. He wakes up and tries to explain that he was just trying to help her. But clearly he is a dumbass or is playing the part of a dumbass because he just keeps saying dumbass things. You know, not being to explain why she is naked and trying to explain that he is not a pervert despite looking and sounding very perverted. He ends up falling on Ange’s naked vagina because apparently this show is called Love Hina. Ange is outraged enough to kicked him, break the bed, and free herself of her bonds. She takes her clothes and runs. Runs into the correct direction of her machine because she is amazing. She finds said machine and the reason why she crashed, a handful of Hilda’s panties and bras. She throws a fit on the beach while the boy (Tusk) watches in amusement and fear. He has come to explain himself but Ange is more in a shooting mood than a listening one. It doesn’t stop him from falling on her crotch again. She ties him to a tree to continue having a bad day in peace. Back at the base Jill is informed of the situation and orders a search party to look for Ange’s machine. They can look for Ange too….and if she doesn’t want to come along they can shoot her. Salia goes with Mei, Vivian, and Ersha to look for Ange.
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It looks like there is way more to Tusk that meets the eye. So he is a Transformer.
On the beach Ange is unable to get her machine working and the tide is coming in. It starts to rain and lightning fills the area. She tries to hide in a tree but gets bit by a snake about one inch from her vagina. She is quickly poisoned and stumbles around. She thinks about calling for help but no one would ever help her bitchass self. She falls in front of Tusk and asks for his help. Immediately Tusk frees himself with his handy knife and dives at Ange’s crotch to suck out the poison. He then takes her home quickly so he can get her all naked again and give her a sponge bath. While doing so he thinks about how he knows Ange’s machine and Jill. Memories of dead parents and armless Jill fill his brain. Ange wakes up still being a bitch insisting she didn’t need his help but allows him to take care of her and feed her awful food. She is not happy enough to allow him to sleep in his own shelter though. At the Norma Base Hilda is giving Ersha shit for going out and looking for bitchass Ange. Ersha seems to want to die next with her thoughts for friendship and being Normas together. She even compares Ange to Hilda which goes over well. Soon Ersha heads out with the search party again before Hilda can kill her. When Ange wakes up she is wearing his shirt like a boyfriend shirt which seems good enough for her. She walks to the beach to find Tusk physically working on her machine. He says that he has learned about them from the various parts that wash up on shore. Ange points out that doesn’t explain why he isn’t using Mana. Tusk ignores this and says he can get the radio working probably so she can contact her people. Ange is convinced that they won’t come for her and Tusk offers to let her stay for a while. She decides to take him up on this offer which leads to some sort of happy montage of them slowly becoming friends. Very slowly. Almost like they are becoming a couple doing household and boring things together. One night after working on her machine Ange gets all emotional looking at the stars and they almost kiss when Tusk panics and tells her to duck. Several airships fly by carrying a huge frozen dragon with them. Ange is so confused on who is doing this and why. Before she can get her answers the dragon that brought her down appears and single handedly brings down all the ships carrying the giant dragon. The smaller dragon survives all this explosion and makes his way towards Ange and Tusk. They run towards her craft in the hopes Tusk can finish it in time while Ange holds the beast off with her knife and personal gun. Tusk throws Ange her bigger gun but that is still not enough and Ange is close to death. Tusk powers the machine up and it links with Ange’s ring again and turns on by itself to fire a spray of bullets into the dragon. Ange then channels her inner Daryl Dixon and takes the dragon out by hand in a rage. Tusk thinks her reaction after the battle reminds him of Jill. After it is all over Tusk says they need to leave this beach due to the fire and possibly other reasons. He wants Ange to go with him but her radio starts to work and she hears Vivian calling for her. Ange responds for a rescue, showing Tusk her decision to go back. She can only call that home and she has to teach some girls a lesson anyway. Tusk seems okay with this and Ange thanks him for his help. Then because she is a bitch she threatens him and says she never accepted his help and he better not repeat it. Tusk smiles and goes back to his place to pack up. He says goodbye to some graves and hopes on a machine that looks similar to the ones the Normas use. He smiles at a picture of his parents, his Norma mom and what looks like a pilot dad before taking off. Ange is picked up by some happy Normas who become even happier when Ange refers to them by name and wants Vivian to give her the friendship charm back for her machine. THE END!
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I don't know what is wrong with Ersha or Vivian either.
Just…I have no idea what is wrong with me. I don’t know what is wrong with this show but since I can’t control this show I will just worry about myself. And my general mental health. I often don’t waste time with ecchi animes but as you can see on the internets this show was not labeled as such. So how was I to know why looking at the PVs before selecting my shows? Should I have done more to make sure this didn’t happen? I mean shows like the X-Men have questionable outfits for their female superheroes so I didn’t think much about the flight gear but this takes questionable to a whole ‘notha level. A level that has been…..X___X. Basically.
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You know who is on team Ange? This guy.
Salia is not on team Ange. I think she is in the middle. Hilda and her hoes hate the girl while Vivian and Ersha are like Norma power we love everyone and see the circumstances that has brought Ange to this level of assholeness. Salia is like….I am the leader so I have to be impartial about the subject. Since Salia is so follow the rules or else I don’t know how she would respond if she was free to have an opinion. But it is clear that Salia would pick this machine over Ange any day of the week. The minute Ange went down Salia wanted to save this machine for some reason that has yet to be explained. But it is super important, more important than barely Norma Ange. Almost more important than her real Normal troops. But Salia is called back to battle because it does no good to save this machine if everyone is dead. Plus…you know..Ange fell right below the battle. It really didn’t take them too much effort to find Ange and dead Zola last time so I didn’t think that it would take that much effort to find Ange and her magical machine this time around. I am sure that is what Salia thought too.
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Of course folks. Of course
Well she should have thought a bit more. Because as we saw at the super end of last episode Ange and her naked self are tied to a bed next to a boy. And since all Normas are girls I think it is safe to say that Ange didn’t wash up near her base. Why is Ange naked? Because folks. Tusk has a penis. And we find out later that he has been on this island for quite a while. I would think that maybe that would mean he would have little to no interest in girls but I guess it is not out of the realm of possibilities that he would have become super interested in something that he couldn’t have. I don’t know. All I know it was super eye rolling. It isn’t like this is some white linen sheet bed. If Ange laid there all wet it probably wouldn’t have mattered in the grand scheme of things. But she could have been cold and needed her wet clothes off that way. I might have wrapped a naked Ange up like a cocoon in the blanket alone and placed her closer to the fire but then we wouldn’t have an epic freak out when Ange wakes up to a mostly naked boy in her bed. And then we wouldn’t have this random boy freak out and fall directly on her exposed vagina because that is what ecchi is. At least in Love Hina all these accidental flops happened with clothes on.
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Clearly Tusk has been through somethings in his life and the crap is going to keep on happening to him.
Ange had a moment of blushing and what the hell are you doing…before her training kicked in. And maybe it wasn’t training. Maybe the kick was just a female moment where an evil man needs to be kicked. But the rest, breaking the bed and rope…badass. Unless Tusk was just a moron. Which was possible but now that I know the end of the episode it might be less possible. What is interesting that Ange and her dressing at the speed of light in that complicated looking piece of crap self found her machine also at the speed of light. Maybe it was just common sense because she fell in the water and her uniform was still wet and could a person really drag that thing out of the water alone? I don’t know. I did a little side eye when Ange was able to find the reason why her machine failed rather fast. I would assume that panties and bras would have burned up in the engine to the point of being unrecognizable but what do I know? I assume that planes blow up like they do in Final Destination. Besides I need to save my eye rolling for later.
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Don't waste the bullets...stab him!
Or right now. Or right now. Tusk was able to pull himself together enough to run after Ange and ask why she was so mad. Um I don’t know..she woke up naked and tied to a bed with a strange man in said bed together with her? Said man acted and talked like a pervert the entire time he was conscious around her? Said man fell on Ange’s vagina because this apparently is a comedy anime, in between the moments where girls get raped and ripped apart by dragons. HAHAHA! So whiel Ange might be hasting in her attempt to shoot Tusk because he might have thing she needs later to survive wherever she is….Tusk as really acting stupid on what Ange’s problem is. I assumed he was stupid until the end of the episode. So this might have been an act. I just think it is a stupid act. But when Tusk manages to fall on Ange again in a stupid position there was more eye rolling. Lot of eye rolling. JUST SO FUNNY GUYS HAHAHA! Tie that jerk up to a tree. It is what he deserves if you aren’t going to waste a bullet on him.
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The last screenie I took for this episode so...yeah. Maybe they should have searched faster for the girl. She was almost dragon food.
While Ange looks at her machine and Tusk looks at a girl who on a normal day in a normal world would still be out of his league….there are plans to rescue Ange. Or at least her machine. Given what Ange has tried to run away before it might not be worth it to put a lot of effort in saving her again. Salia didn’t know what happened and I don’t know if anyone will ever learn the real reason. Ange might keep quiet and that might be a point for her in getting Hilda back on the side of not killing her. She will need about one million more points but that might help. But for now Hilda is not on team Ange and Salia is on team save the machine. Since Mei knows what the machine means to everyone she is going to save it no matter what. Vivian and Ersha are on team Ange so they are like wait for us! We don’t need a break or anything. Lets go save our best friend forever Ange! Also despite my summary and the episode depicting Ange and Tusk spending tons of time alone together….I think based on logic and how much resources mean to Normas the rescue of Ange actually took 3 days at the most. Based on how many times Ange and Tusk were sleeping. Maybe 4 days. But that might be pushing it. Or they could have been sleeping every 3 hours to throw me off. But yeah it wouldn’t make sense for everyone to look for Ange for an extended amount of time so Ange and Tusk aren’t spending weeks together folks.
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A lot can happen in three days. Like a snake can almost bite you in your genitalia.
But they are spending a lot of intimate and “quality” time together. I don’t know where Ange tied Tusk up but apparently she marched him into the woods far away from her machine because he has no idea where it is on his island. Then back to her machine she went to stare at it for a while because she knows how to fly the darn thing but she can’t fix it. Just mostly glaring. The glaring has to pause though as the tide has come in and it has started to rain. Rain with lightening. Ange might want to get out of the ocean during some lightening. Things are looking really bad for Ange so that means the bar has to be raised. Like man guys…we are totally Gamemakers here in the Hunger Games and we have to make sure these are exciting time for the viewers. It is not enough that Ange has lost her Princess Title for being a Norma. It is not enough for Ange to be raped by her commander and felt up by her almost second in commander. It wasn’t enough for Ange to watch three young girls die in front of her and for her to be injured in the process. And it wasn’t enough for Ange to get some partially deserved bullying. No no folks. Things need to get worse for Ange. Worse folks.
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And then my eyes roll in the back of my head.
Or maybe it is just worse for me. But from where I stand (or sit in this falling apart computer desk that has like the screws poking through the armrests) hiding in a tree in a thunderstorm alone on an island with just a horny boy is pretty bad. Add in a poison snake biting you and this would be my worse day ever. Since Ange’s uniform is made of special there wasn’t many places that could be reached by a snake. Although I think snakes can bite though clothes but who cares. Not anyone at the production table at Cross Ange. They are like dude lets have Ange get bite by a snake about one inch away from her vagina. Then we will have her conscious enough to drag herself to tied up Tusk so she can look pathetic and die in front of him because no one is coming to save her. Since you know…Tusk has been tied up all this time and not gotten himself free thus far there will be no way he will be able to save his blond angel. The Normas will lose their machine. All hope is lost. Or the magical ecchi gods will give Tusk a magical knife so he can cut himself free and fling himself on Ange’s thighs and suck out the poison that has been there for minutes and has already spread into her body. Yes folks this is gold. This is a beautiful moment that isn’t fanservicey at all. No no folks. It is just natural for all of this to happen and for Tusk to run Ange back to his shack so he can strip her of her clothes once again and rinse her off of all this poison and broken dreams. The only way my eyes could have rolled more if Ange was bitten by a cake snake and Tusk had to lick frosting off her body. Just what the hell folks.
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Domestic bliss folks.
So while Ange is dying on Tusk’s bed it was memory time. This memory time also picked up at the end of the episode where I think it reveals that Tusk isn’t a pile of moron. He might be a pile of stupid but he also isn’t lalaing all over the place totally clueless. See Tusk wasn’t too shocked to see Ange and her flying machine. It is all familiar to him. And when he finally meets up with Jill he will remember her. And she might remember him. Maybe not so much as whatever happened between Tusk and Jill ended with her losing her arm. But what I think happened was once upon a time there were maintenance people at NormaRUs. Tusk’s dad was one of those people and I am sure he could use Mana. Tusk’s mom was a Norma pilot. I am sure there were rules and what at the time about no sexy with the Normas (rape is for the womenz duh) and they totally broke the rules. But whatever this rule was I am sure it was OKAY as Tusk was a young boy of about 8 when the bad thing happened. Like well these things happen get to work kid. But perhaps they found out that Tusk was also a Norma which ruined the whole boys can’t be Norma thing and the family had to flee the person in Emma’s position at the time. Perhaps Jill was going after them out of orders and not that she wanted to hurt mom. Clearly Jill and her machine that ANGE now has didn’t fare well and judging by the number of graves at the top of the hill….other things haven’t gone well for Tusk either. Have more Normas washed ashore? HMMMMMM. So yeah. Tusk can’t use Mana, he knows what these machines are, and he probably doesn’t really care who wins a Norma verses Mana User war. That all said….Tusk is a moron.
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Well...to be fair...you shouldn't be missing them either.
Ange eventually wakes up and isn’t totally upset at Tusk. I think the present of the boyfriend shirt helps this anger issue out. She still has to be Ange though. Like call his food awful and make him sleep outside tied to a tree even though this is his house. But then slowly….Disney music started to play. These two strangers (because Ange didn’t write her name on her side of the room or anything) started off on different sides of reality. Tusk in his moronness and Ange in her paranoid anger state. After the bullets and naked snake venom sucking…a friendship happened. Maybe even more. Tusk doesn’t have to work on Ange’s machine but he does. Ange doesn’t have to attempt to make food and blow up the hut for Tusk. But they do these things together. Ange could let her hair down if she still had it but she tried. A moment where she didn’t have to worry about dragons and being Norma or having something awful happen to her even if one could argue that Tusk is an awful thing that happened to her. So since Tusk was there and she was there and they were only there with each other….maybe things would have happened.
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Clearly Ersha wants to die.
The rescue of Ange is still priority at NormaRUs which leads me to believe that this is all taking place in a relatively short time period. If Hilda is feeling guilty about what she has done she doesn’t let it show. She has to take care of her hoes. The rescue mission/recovery mission for Ange seems to be voluntary and Hilda doesn’t understand why Vivian or Ersha are wasting their time. I guess with Salia she has to go as she is the boss but why the other two? Even if Zola wasn’t well loved she was respected. And the two tiny tots? What about them? I don’t think the other girls are operating under my thinking in which Ange is not responsible for those girls’ death. I think they do blame Ange but some have moved on and forgiven Ange. Because really life is short and maybe they can see where Ange is coming from? If they were from the Mana World and thrust into NormaRUs wouldn’t we react the same way? But Ersha takes it a step farther. She better watch her back or her machine for random underwear if she is going to compare Hilda to Ange. I mean….I guess they could have had the same attitude problems. But I don’t think Hilda was all like I am better than you bitches, I am not a Norma, let me push you out of the way so I can earn more money that I don’t want to spend. Attitude problems yes. But I am not seeing a lot of Ange in Hilda. If they become best friends later though I guess I will have to eat my words. For now Ersha says her piece and flops into the plane to search for ungrateful Ange. Think about it Hilda.
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See? Progress. Ange isn't shooting at you.
Ungrateful Ange? Wait is she having a change of heart? It seems like she is. See Tusk is trying to fix her machine, at least the radio so she can contact her people. And Ange didn’t shot him in the face for suggesting such a thing. Why the hell would Ange want to leave this almost island paradise? She almost seems conflicted at this point. And if HTusk really does know what goes on at NormaRUs he wouldn’t want Ange going back there either. Maybe he is doing this all on the downlow though. Like I am going to pretend to fix the radio and casually ask Ange if her people miss her and she will realize that I am a prize and going back to those rapists is a super bad idea. Instead Ange is CONFLICTED. Like bitch please. Even if they were the nicest people in the world to you your job is to hunt dragons until you die. So…stay with the slightly annoying boy and make out. It isn’t that hard.
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Um...are they recycling dragons?
That might have been in the cards for Ange. If Tusk had gotten that kiss in who knows what would have happened. But NOOOOOOOOO some giant dragon had to be seen all frozen and dragged across the sky by some planes. I don’t even want to pretend to know what is going on. It appears that when the girls defeat a dragon it is frozen unlike the blasted to bits smaller dragons. I would just assume after the freezing the thing is dead. But maybe the Mana Using world drags the dragons back through portals to keep the Normas busy? Maybe that is where Mana Users actually get their powers? That might be it. Well maybe Mana Users should have some Normas flanking them during their ride home because they were taken out in a blink of an eye by an already injured smaller dragon. Ange was like bish please is this real life? I am not sure what the smaller dragon was trying to do in regards to the attack as it appears the big dragon is dead now. Maybe it knew what the people were going to do with it’s friend and it was a mercy killing? Since I don’t know the whole story yet I will just make up wild stories in my head because I like to entertain myself in that way.
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Ange can fight dragons with no face!
The smaller dragon apparently has the eyes of a tiger and the nose of…well an animal that smells really good. A bloodhound dog? I don’t know. But what I do know is that Ange and Tusk are in super danger and while Ange’s bitch face is pretty scary and impressive me thinks it will take more than that to take one of these suckers out. Also more than a knife and handgun. Although I might have channeled my inner Beth and aimed for the head the entire time. Like why waste bullets on something so large. The brain is probably in the brain area so have at it there. But Ange was able to keep the beast occupied while Tusk makes the last few adjustments on the machine. It was fixed so fast I am going to assume he knew what the problem was the entire time and was just stalling in hopes of keeping Ange with me. I mean it really was that simple to fix. Ange was doing pretty kicking ass without the machine but once it turned on and it was activated by her magic Princess Ring it was game over for the dragon and Ange’s sanity for a few moments. Go Ange!
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Because we are totally best friends now.
Tusk manages to put aside how creepy Ange was in the aftermath of dragon death and tried to get her to leave with him. I am not sure where this leaving was going to take place as it appears they are on an island and it is currently on fire. Maybe he would have revealed his own flying machine at that point. But at that second Vivian’s voice comes over the radio and she has been looking for Ange all this time. Ange picked that moment to realize hey….that is my team and some of them aren’t rapist or panty in machine assholes. Sometimes home sucks but that is all you have in this world. So Ange makes the stupid decision to be rescued and not run off with the cute boy and lie the rest of her life in dragon free days. Like……WHY?! Okay we all can probably guess why but still. Tusk didn’t fight too hard and allowed Ange to dictate what happened on the island in the off chance he ever finds someone to share this information with. Going out strong I see Ange. She leaves with Salia, Vivian, and Ersha and refers to the girls by names which is touching. She even graciously accepts Vivian’s gift of a cellphone charm. Like look guys…now I value the fact that some of you aren’t assholes, accept me with open arms. And they do. Meanwhile Tusk does all his HMMMM you know Normas stuff with the pictures and the graves. Then he flies off. I assume to Ange’s NormaRUs island since he knows where it is. Well he is going to have some competition for her as next week Ange’s maid shows up. Say what? I know the girl was loyal to Ange but can someone just elect to go to NormaRUs? I guess so. Until next time!

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