Well it looks like it is not subbed yet. That and due to the fact that my brother is an inconsiderate jerk all the time I didn't get home until super late, thus I ate super late, and now my tummy hurts. Tired and cranky Tenchi up in this blog today. So...I will post my movie post a day early (or a few minutes since...you know) since it is basically done. I can do blogging on time, can't get to work on time. XD
So heres to hoping there will be new anime to watch tomorrow because I am having withdrawals. Amagami does not count.
Movies included in this post are as follows:
REC
Mulberry Street
Mandrake
Resident Evil Afterlife
Sharktopus
Devil
REC
I have no idea why I watched this movie. Well yeah I do. I needed to take a break from reading a million mangas and I had a feeling that High School of the Dead was going to suck that week. Which it did. And I hadn’t watched Quarantine in like 5 days so I was starting to have withdrawals. So when On Demand Fearnet whatever had it for free my friend and I were like WOOHOO text date here we come.
And it was basically watching Quarantine. Which is false since REC came first. So….my question is why did they remake this movie one year after the original came out and kept like 80 percent of the movie exactly the same? A remake isn’t simply taking the exact same movie, throwing in some Americans and adding in a flimsy explanation. XO So why was REC remade instead of being marketed here and left the same?
That being said there were some differences that made the movie watching experience different) even thought it felt just like watching Quarantine). The “foreign” people could actually communicate and didn’t stand there all dazzed and confused. Angela was less of a whiner this time. The cop that lives most of the movie apologized for being a douche and then sacrificed himself when the kid nommed him. When everyone scattered when the dead dudes/intern got out they didn’t end up in the same room and that seemed more realistic to me. And the actual set up of the apartment was better. Oh and I liked that the streets were actually empty thus people could be lied to easier that everything was contained and all was happy.
But there are some parts of Quarantine I like better. Like we never saw the camera dude in this movie. :( American Angela didn’t look like a 15 year old girl. The little sick girl actually talked and had expression on her face. And I think both the camera dude and firefighter were slightly more badass in the American version.
At the end of the day I will still watch Quarantine because it is easier without subtitles (and I can blog at the same time) but REC and Quarantine is basically the same movie. Not sure why they needed to make a remake of the exact same movie but you know. Both are awesome and fun and lovely. Oh but I think REC was grosser at certain points. SHOTS IN THE WOUNDS DUDE!
Mulberry Street
This movie was free on Fearnet so I decided to give it a chance. Slowly getting used to the fact that I won’t have my Soap to blog to anymore. It was an interesting movie to say the least.
It was almost like a zombie movie but people had rat faces. I don’t recall there every being an explanation for why people turned into rats. Some movies don’t go and explain why the bad event is happening which works. Like in Cloverfield. But in this movie….yeah maybe people being turned into rat people should have been explained as that is not a common theme in movies. Or should we just blame the government like we usually do?
So…were Clutch and Coco lovers? And no I am not saying that because they are two men living together. Coco referred to Casey as his daughter as well which was a bit weird. I mean it was refreshing seeing a “badass” guy not being homophobic. But they gave off a very close vibe. And at the end when they died and Casey’s shirt fell on them they looked like lovers. So that was weird, the unspokenness between the two of them.
Dude I was surprised when Kay got taken out like that. That also might tie back into the two men having a closer relationship that Clutch and Casey but I expected her to last a little longer. Clutch barely tried to save her. Just oh they are grabbing on to her time to drive away with my daughter. So much time dedicated to her surviving and trying to be rescued just for her to splat. SPLAT.
I do like that the actors weren’t all the beautiful people. Just normal every day people living in a crappy apartment. Made it feel more real and gritty.
But the pacing of this movie was so slow at times. So very, very slow.
Mandrake
I think I was expecting something different when I heard of this title. I was thinking all bibley and that this movie would be about an angry fertility plant running around killing pregnant women. I have a bit of crazy in me.
But no this was about some white people messing with native people and getting their asses kicked in the meantime. Have you ever noticed that no matter where the white people end up the native people look exactly the same? But my favorite part was when the main native dude turned out to be white. Thanks for trying.
I never got why the dagger was so important. It was ugly and small and didn’t have any value jewels on it. Well maybe there was a ruby or something but not encrusted all over the damn thing. The only reason why the dagger was important was because the native people used it to keep away the monster. So…not understanding how everyone knew about the dagger or what value it had outside being in a dead person.
The death scenes were hit and miss. The guard got taken out off screen which was disappointing. Just some ketchup being thrown on a rock. But then the girl being snapped in half like a Kit Kat was awesome. Because that is how I imagine human beings would look if they were killed. They break neatly into two pieces, no organs and intestines flying everywhere. But then the people getting eaten by the large walking around tree was lame. :( No details.
Here are awesome quotes from the movie:
Do you hear the silence? WHY YES I DO!!!!
I’ll get you cigarettes. YES! Native people often desire and crave cigarettes despite not knowing what they are!
I don’t speak jungle! X_X But you do speak stupid.
Resident Evil Afterlife
SUCH DISAPPOINTMENT PEOPLE! Disappointment all over my face! Why Resident Evil WHY?!
First of all people I am not impressed with the 3-D experience. Like whoever thought it up should be shot in the face. I like the 3-D Terminator thingy at Universal Studios and that is about it. I wear glasses. I am probably never going to wear contacts. So if I wanted to see a 3-D movie I would have to wear two pairs of glasses. The first experience with 3-D movies was recently at that How to Train Your Dragon but that was not by choice. Theater messed up. And really I was dumb and thought we could see Resident Evil in normal vision. Because clearly I didn’t see 3-D IN THE NAME. So I was already disappointed before I even walked into the theater. Sadness for me.
Then the movie started. Like okay why is random Japanese girl the only wanted infected? Did the rain get in her eyeball or something? Because really you would think the chaos would SPREAD not magically just happen. The sequence was nice but it was too random for words.
We did get an Alice army for 5 seconds was nice. Until they all died. I guess they were all expendable but it still made me sad. They were made to cure the world. But soon their creator wanted to make better monsters with the blood and saw all the clones as meat puppets. Then Alice wakes them all up and uses them to take her revenge of Umbrella. So that was all bitter sweet and sad and junk.
Then Alice and his lipstick wearing self was flying to Alaska. Like okay, I totally believe she was able to find that much fuel each and every time she needed to get somewhere. Also I liked when she lost her powers she survived a horrible plane crash. Amazing people! Now Alice is a normal person. Who is magically clean and fresh like the new fallen snow. I mean I know this franchise is going to crazy with the retouching of beautiful people but now they are clean. The world has ended 5 years ago and water is too precious at this time. But everyone looks like a model with fresh clothes and no dirty finger nails. Awesome really.
Where was I going with that? Oh I wasn’t really buying the whole OH it’s not a safe town it is a safe boat. And it isn’t a safe boat it is really Umbrella cruise trip to hell. Because Umbrella wasn’t content in destroying 99.99999999999 percent of the population. No we need to kill everyone who isn’t wearing a cool uniform. Like….you do need minions right? Maybe some people to serve you chicken nuggets and sell you suits in the future? But yeah that was a bit LAME. They got it to work into the plot but it was still lame.
I am sure the prison people are happy that Alice landed her plane on their roof. Really a lot of survivors there. The black dude was pretty hard core though! But everyone else yeah. Tell us your names quickly before you die. Alice is such bad luck.
WHERE WAS LEON! I WAS ROBBED PEOPLE!
Clair is blah. Blah people. Her meeting up with her brother is blah, her attitude was blah, all was blah. BLAH.
Oh have you noticed that I haven’t talked about zombies yet? YEAH PEOPLE! You get one zombie attack the entire movie and that is the first scene. Other than that you get nothing. You get squid faced monsters and some dude with a giant axe thing. And whatever the super bad was at the end. But no one got turned AT ALL! Isn’t that the point of these zombie movies?! SO DISAPPOINTED PEOPLE!
But perhaps the most disappointing part of this show is the ending. Stay after the credits people! Now we got bad guy Jill with Clair, Alice, and Chris (with a rumored Leon in the wings). Um a movie with that many super important characters is
dangerous. SOMEONE has to die…..but who? X_X
NO MORE 3-D people! Also don’t make movies that suck. Thanks.
Sharktopus
This was the most amazing movie EVER! Like seriously I thought that Dragon Wars was amazing and that Giant Piranha movie was too delightful for words. But now they got a strong contender here folks. Me and my Sci-Fi loving friend were counting down the DAYS! Also you know a movie is going to be a winner when it comes on at 9 and 11. It is a sign people.
I think I will start with the most awesome feature of the entire movie. THE MONSTER WALKED ON LAND! While the other giant water monsters fly out of the water to eat helicopters and stuff our home boy Shartopus walked on land to get him a car. HOW AMAZING IS THAT?! And it so reminded me when a monster raises it’s “skirt” to reveal tiny human female legs. Just the best scene out of the entire movie.
But the magical sombrero scene was special too. When the main character was at the bottom of the pool holding his breath he was laying on his back. But then he gets out of the water and TADA sombrero is on his head. Huge giant hat that you can’t lay on your back when you are wearing. MAGIC IS AFOOT!
The random pirate treasure was random and awesome. While my friend liked how they slide the treasure part in so magically I was more focused on the old dude. He totally just shrugs as the girl dies and steals her treasure. He is a pirate at heart.
There were so many causalities in this movie I lost count. I kinda didn’t like all the side stories and wish that more people were nommed AND they were included in the main story. But the high death count was fun since a lot of them got speared. SILENCE I poke you.
What I loved about Sharkopus that it was giant. Like really, really huge. It done pulled that car in the water people. But when it attacked a lot of people where was it? Oh the shallow water you say? YEAH PEOPLE! We can see the bottom of the ocean and suddenly the Sharktopus goes swimming by. That massive creature eaten cars and people and it can swim in 3 feet of water? I am impressed.
However…home girl main character needs to watch some more Sci-Fi movies. She was only supposed to be a crazy angry girl for like 1/3rd of the movie. Not almost the entire thing. Seriously she was all angry, GO CATCH MY SUPER BEAST NOW. So much anger and she is the one at fault people. But of course she lives. Because that is also part of the rules people.
But overall this movie was awesome. So awesome. I recommend this movie to all.
Devil
WOOHOO PEOPLE! Finally people can get off M. Night Shyamalan’s back!!....Well I liked it anyway. :(
Everyone is well aware this is SPOILER ALERT page right? So that being said..I WAS RIGHT! I was like dude it’s the only lady and my husband was like no it is the young woman. This is after the young woman was being all sneaky and crap so his guess wasn’t a gut feeling like mine. And even when the old lady died I didn’t give up. My husband was all HAHAHA told you and I still had faith people. Because I know the rules and he doesn’t!
But yes old lady do did it. Now the only question I have was there ever an old lady or was it the devil the whole time? Why would the Devil go out of his way to prove the security guard’s story right by making the “old lady” a sinner too? Weirdness if you ask me.
I think some people might think the twist won’t be twisty enough. For me it worked well. We were to believe the young man was the killer or doing something shady with the elevator when all along he was the reason the cop was watching this. Again not sure why the Devil would be kind enough to allow the murder victim’s family get some revenge but maybe the Devil feeds on revenge. But how was the Devil going to get that information out of the dude….
Of course the twist does tie in with the other religious theme of the movie. Which I expected people. Why are there crybabies all over the internet saying that there was religious undertones? The movies was called DEVIL what did you think it was going to be about?! But yeah I liked how the cop was able to forgive and believe in God as the Devil’s plan was to create havoc and hate.
I think the tension in the elevator was solid. I think I was expecting more SCARY moments to happen but I got sucked into how paranoid the characters got and how fast they turned on each other. Especially the younger woman, she worked everyone up into a frenzy. The old lady was just being old lady like so meh. But I think I would flip out faster if people were dying and I was stuck on an elevator like 23 floors above the ground.
I think the characters were awesome. They were all…not likeable as they were criminals in some sort of way. You are supposed to hate them/fear them/loathe them. But they are trapped in an elevator slowing losing their minds and lives. Anyone in that situation would go insane. So you felt bad for them because you could imagine yourself getting hotter and hotter in the elevator, 23 floors over the ground, stuck with strangers. So don’t you feel bad for these evil people now?
However I think if a certain someone had not been narrating the movie would have been better. I think the security guard’s story would have been stronger had we not already heard a certain person saying the exact same thing earlier.
But I left the movie happy and satisfied. The husband did not.
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