Note to all men: Count your blessings each and every day!
So yeah here is my less than stellar post being up late. Also I can barely see straight so if there are typos...well there are always typos. Just note that probably starting in September there will be more movies in my movie posts. :( My soap opera is ending soon and that is usually what I am watching while blogging so something must fill the void!
Dude my title had a typo...
Movies included in this post are:
Jack Hunter and the Lost Treasure of Ugarit
Session 9
Lake Placid 3
Croc
Jack Hunter and the Lost Treasure of Ugarit
Like what was this movie? Because I can’t even remember. Well I do remember it sucked. Is that enough for a summary?
I guess what really sucked about this movie is that it wasn’t really a standalone movie. It is a part of a trilogy that all must be seen or nothing makes sense. Only that Sci-fi didn’t do that and the viewer was left feeling….OKAY now what?
So I tried to find a summary of this movie so I could refresh my memory and no one wrote one. Well the first 3 links I looked didn’t have one so I gave up. Probably a sign that I need to write reviews soon after watching the movie. But also a sign this movie really sucked. Do not watch people!
Dude I can't even remember the treasure....
Session 9
Throwing hot water on people means you need to die. Seriously people. Also when you lose your mind and kill your family in a fit a rage the best way to cover up your crimes is to kill all your co-workers. I guess since he went crazy there is no use in discussing the whys.
However watching this movie after years of watching CSI Miami was a weird experience. I kept looking for sunglasses, for a jeep, and for a black jacket. It really didn’t help that David Caruso was acting like he knew everything and was trying to control the situation. Like he was acting like the cop and that he was big and bad…but he wasn’t.
So what was up with the weird random music during the killings? It really messed with the flow of the movie and felt out of place. Not that all killings need to have the BIG BAD SCARY music playing but I wasn’t expecting that.
In the end I think if the previous crazy person/murderer had more relevance to the movie it would have been a more enjoyable movie. But Mary just seemed like some person not connected to the movie at all, something creepy in the background to explain how “good” people go evil.
Lake Placid 3
This was….amazing. I really needed this show after the crappy month I have had. It was everything I expected and more. I mean….when you are part three of a crazy silly sci-fi movie trilogy the lols are going to happen.
Colin Ferguson was a better main character than the last dude. I am not sure why I feel that way. But I do so it must be important. But he wasn’t a coppppppppppppppppppppppp. That would have made it bettttttttttttttttttttttter. More dumb cops going durp durp what you do mean there is a giant monster in the lake DURP?! But he was a lakeoligist or animal lover or something going DURP DURP what do you mean giant crocs were in the lake.
Um Wiki…you be lying. Dumbass kid was feeding the baby giant crocs of doom because he wasn’t feeling the LOVE from his parents. He needed to get LOVE from having pets. So yeah Wiki. You a liar.
Speaking of that dumbass kid…you are a dumbass kid. Really? Your parents have to work to put food on the table for your worthless self and you are all WELL YOU NEVER SPEND TIME WITH ME?! Well too bad some innocent people got munched in the process of your tantrum. Dumbass kid.
Reba was awesome. Nice to see a kick ass girl instead of a jerk/kick ass guy. Too bad she got munched but she put up a good fight. Note to people…it is best not to shoot people when they are the ones who are going to protect you. Poor Reba.
Also poor creepy stalker boyfriend. Like he was really creepy but I felt bad he died. Hiring a crazy person to go through the woods because you girl friend might be on a trip with someone MIGHT like her…..is insane. And then you pulled a gun on an innocent family because you wanted to search the woods on the slim chance that your girl still might be alive. Okay maybe I don’t feel bad for you.
So in the wake of this event I think the townspeople should do a better job in making sure that there are no crocs in their lake. Because um…yeah. It keeps happening dude. I guess they thought that they were doing good by getting rid of all the creepy old ladies in town but now they have to worry about OUTSIDERS. Down with the outsiders!
Best moment of the movie was the weird slow motion near the end of the movie. Like NOOOOOOOOO don’t crash the boat NOOOOOO don’t eat us. So random and funny.
Croc
Another great movie. And by great I mean LOL and let’s mock it of course.
Why is it that the white guy has to come to a town and run the nature preserve? Why can’t it be someone native to the area? I probably would want to run them out of town too. OUTSIDERS you know.
This movie also did something that I really love. That would be taking real life scenes or scenes from another movie and pretending like it fits in their movie. Usually when the movie maker is too lazy to make a monster for their own and have to substitute scenes instead. So realistic people.
Also more people deserved to get eaten. Yeah he is a white dude running a crazy random animal preserve. But um…his little crocs could not eat people. So yeah more of you peoples should have died. MORE DEATH PEOPLE!
The whole plot about taking out the white dude and his animal preserve thingy was boring and predictable and bleh. I mean…SHOCKING! The bad dude died. The good guy and most of his crew lived. I am shocked and surprised.
But the movie did a fail when it came to the body count and the special effects. The special effects I can forgive but not the body count. :( We watch fail movies to laugh at all the dumb people getting munched on and that was just not happening. However I would recommend this movie for the lols.
2 comments:
Did you watch the Session 9 bonus features? It was weird b/c Caruso said like he got really freaked out over time on set and started believing in ghosts and stuff. And he was being serious. Watched it with my brother and were both like WTF.
Did like the moodiness and creepiness of the building tho. That was worth sitting thru the disappointing plot, so I recommend this one.
Anonymous- I think I watched it on channel 153 and it had no bonus features. But I would be a little WTF if Caruso said something so out of character like that.
However the building was seriously creepy. So maybe if I had spent extensive time in that building I might turn crazy. But you are right that the location was pretty awesome.
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