Saturday, March 1, 2014

Hamatora episode 5

Again sorry with the lateness of all these posts. Given the Olympics and my job being oh so special it has been hard to keep up. Yeah I know work is for work but we have been so unbelievable busy lately it has been...well frustrating to say the least. I got yelled at today by a customer for eating LUNCH. 10 minutes folks. I don't even deserve 10 minutes. So while my co-worker is reading books on easy street I can't take 5 seconds to use the bathroom without people strolling in demanding their clothes be done in the next hour because MOG don't I know who they are?!
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Spoiler alert: We do not want him to use his power....
Putting that aside...more anime posts! Number 2 tonight weee! Up now is Hamatora episode 5. Spoilers for....a really, really special episode.
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Every tiny bit of every episode is connected to one large case. Always.
Episode Summary: Hajime the ever hungry enters a lottery like system thingy in hopes of winning one of the loser prizes, a hamburger. Instead she wins a trip to the onsen. She is sad and Koneko is overjoyed. Everyone gathers at the cafe and Honey acts like she is doing Hajime a favor by going to the onsen. Birthday points out that only girls seem to be picked for this trip and that is unfair. Koneko fails to see the point and Birthday acts special. When he gets too special with Honey Three steps up to kick his ass. Ratio gets a call for a job and temporarily stops Birthday from being killed. It appears that Nice and Murasaki also have gotten a job which will keep their minds off not going to the onsen. They enter the very done up house of some cougar lady. She wants the boys to find her boyfriend Hasuda. Apparently he has done her wrong and as one of her many boyfriends she will not tolerate this. The boys are about ready to leave when the cougar says Hasuda works at the onsen. Suddenly they are on the case. Elsewhere Art is trying to stay alive by buying up all the energy drinks ever. Gasquet tries to tell Art to take it easy but when they see a blatant shoplifter they set to work. The girls have reached the onsen and all Hajime wants to do is eat the special dinner. The Hamatora ladies run into the girl from the awful teacher incident who needs cash along with Theo. Theo eventually runs int Nice and Murasaki who are looking for Hasuda but find Three instead who claims to be here to guard Honey. Suddenly there are loads of fabulous men taking over the onsen by force. But instead of being captivated by all the lovely half naked women...they demand they leave. The men guarding the locker room for males are in heaven. Nice and Murasaki make quick work of the ones attacking them when Birthday and Ratio show up as their case was here too. Out of the shadows emerges Hasuda who is behind this all. He unleashes his mighty Minimum on everyone. It is......sweating and releasing pheromones into the air. With his mighty situps. Everyone finds him a joke so Birthday approaches him. He instantly falls in love and Ratio becomes infected too when he tries to save Birthday. The rest of Hamatora flees with the infected party.
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I hope no one else would ever think to do this. Ever.
The girls of Hamatora have stayed in the building as some people have been injured. Well their pride at not being sexual harassed. Hajime actually uses her powers to fight against the thugs although all I know is it involves gum. Honey tries to see what is going on with her powers but all she is sees are gays. Birthday and Ratio finally recover and reveal that their mission was to protect a foreign Prince who is here on vacation and didn't want a bodyguard at this lovely onsen so he hired...these people. Oh what will happen? Well Hasuda finds the Prince alone in the bathroom and the girls in an effort to sneak around end up in a locker room where they find a photobook full of pics of the Prince. Hasuda does some sit ups and gets the Prince under his control. He reveals (and later the girls from Hamatora chime in) that his idol (the shoplifter from earlier) has fallen from grace. He was involved in a big sex scandal that also included Ms. Cougar lady bringing him to his knees when he didn't listen to her. Hasuda swore revenge, against Ms. Cougar (by sleeping with her to get access to her stuff) and the world. He is going to convince the Japan loving Prince from a made up country to get Mr. Shoplifter reinstated as an idol using his influence. Because it all makes sense. Once everyone gathers and hears this is morphin time. Due to the floor being wet and the men not being able to approach Hasuda things do not go well. The thugs from earlier are touched by Hasuda doing this for his love and try to protect Hasuda by turning themselves into human torpedoes. Hajime chases Hasuda outside as he was about to kill himself to protect the thugs AKA the rest of the Shoplifter's fan club from being in trouble. Hajime saves him...but only to save her food voucher that got stole/lost earlier. Gasquet shows Mr. Shoplifter all that has gone on for him and the former idol cries tears of happiness and hope for the future. By the end of the episode the police Doc or CSI has come back with some news. Mr. Wannabee Pop Idol from last episode might be mighty dead but he still has his brain. Yet he thinks the same man, serial killer is involved. Doc suggests to Gasquet that Pop Idol was not a born Minimum Holder, he had been given the power and such his brain could not be harvested again to get said power. Gasquet looks interested in that information...then stabs Doc in the back with an evil look on his face. You will never know our real plans HAHAHAH villain laugh. THE END!
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Can there be less talking and more saving?
….What did I just watch? I...I don't even know. Just...insanity. Like I wrote this episode myself when I was hopped up on Code Red and pixie sticks. Complete with yaoi colored glasses. Not to mention the art was a bit...C-team this week. That probably added to the insanity.
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Just so much joy on her face.......
First things first. It looks like Honey and Three also work for Hamatora. I know they were in the opening theme song. I just didn't know they belonged. I guess it would make sense if naturally born Minimum Holders were all friends. You know, maybe going to the same school. Or because in theory there isn't that many of them. But since everyone is insane and barely gets along I don't know. Everyone is a Minimum Holder, although it might just be a recent explosion of them given the brain issue. Maybe back in the day they were harder to come by....Glad to see all these Minimum Holders are living the high life Shouko. much amazingness for these people.
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Because boys have cooties duh!
So...back to the actual beginning part of this episode. Hajime and her never ending quest for food is hungry. So she enters one of these promotional lottery things. You pay a lot of money and spin this little machine. What color marble you receive determines the prize. Now Hajime wanted to win the lowest prize because it was a hamburger. Well because life is unfair because she won a spa trip. For three people. Now not counting Mr. Grind the Beans cafe Owner I count 8 people, you know since Mr. Lion face Three and Honey showed up. A trip for three and there are this many people....sounds like a lot of people are getting left out. Birthday was quick to say take me and forget Hajime the actual winner. I don't think Hajime would have minded (well unless she knew about the dinner voucher) but it's the principle of the thing. Hajime won. Stop being selfish Birthday. He does seem like the most...energetic of the bunch but yeah....annoying is annoying at times. Perhaps Three and Honey are only branch members since Birthday said he hasn't seen them in a year. Birthday forgot that Three is very, very protective of Honey. And no one cares enough about him to save Birthday from Three's wrath.
 photo hamatoraepisode64_zps5f023866.jpg are the exact opposite of a hooker?
In the middle of Hajime's spa trip invitation only decision making (in which the girls were like um no boy cooties) two jobs were called in. Ratio and Birthday went off and were not seen for a whole. It was mainly focused on Nice and Murasaki as they went to see a rich cougar. Um yeah Courtney Cox she is not. People should age gracefully, not overdo it to the point where they look older than they are. Anyway this is a wealthy, older woman that wants Nice and Murasaki to spy on her boyfriend. One of her boys. ONE. Because she pays young men to please her and remind her she is still hot. I guess the reverse is true/good too. Although most woman aren't in a position to climb to the top like men are. Anyway Nice and Murasaki seem uncomfortable following ONE of her boyfriends around. Like look lady you are cheating on him too. But suddenly the boyfriend works at the same spa that the ladies are going to and BAM they will take the job.
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We are here to have fun by being naked, not eating!
This spa by the odd. I guess when I think of a Japanese onsen I think old timey looking building surrounded by nature and the spa areas are outside. This one was a giant ugly building. I am sure it was nice and fancy inside but yeah....just looked odd. Must cost a pretty penny. The girls were very impressed. Well Honey and Koneko were as Hajime just wanted to use the food voucher. I must say getting naked and bathing in public doesn't sound very relaxing to me but what do I know? I do know every single event in this show is connected so clearly the girls were not going to have a relaxing spa trip anyway.
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It takes a lot of effort to look this amazing.
So Murasaki and Nice are tailing some random man/boyfriend at the spa and Birthday and Ratio are on their own mission that will enviably be connected to the first case. So what is Art doing? Well he is driving around with his partner whom I better name. Or refer to by name. Gosh that's so hard. His name is Gasquet which I assume I will never be able to pronounce correctly. They are off trying to solve the case of Moral who is finally laying low after killing the Neet last week. Art might actually want to take a break from all this work but instead he buys gross drink supplements looking things to keep going. Gasquet wants his younger boss to take it easy but when someone shoplifts right in front of your face duty calls. You would think a man stealing a random magazine would have nothing to do with the onsen but it does.
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Oh yeah and Hajime used her powers....see?!
Before the girls can hop in the onsen they discover the girl from the awful teacher case works there along with her now (?) boyfriend Theo. Theo runs into the rest of the gang, the boys, and that might be scarring himself for life. I think that Nice was trying to explain why there were there and to see how the kid was doing while trying to figure out why three was there. All at once. I don't know why Three was there. Just to protect Honey one? Because the rest of the team was there know....there could be more action later? Oh yes the rest of the team was there too. Birthday and Ratio? Um hello how are you? Did we all want to go to the onsen that bad we had to all make excuses? I see then. Oh wait, you are on a mission? What is it?
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Why won't you molest us!!!!!!!
Then BAM!! Insanity happens. Quite literally. The onsen is taken over by fabulous thugs. Usually in cases like this it would be perving all over the girls changing time. Instead the girls were thrown their clothes and to get out. Like remove your boobies and vaginas from our presence. No no, the real winners of this hostile take over where the thugs taking charge of the male changing rooms. I think the sexual harassment could have been taken things a little further if they wanted it to be on par with what woman usually face. Instead it was comical. Hilarious.
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So so awkward....
During all of this the men of Hamatora are basically useless...I mean formulating a plan while Hajime and company manage to stay in the building despite the vagina and boobie status. Theo shows himself again and now he is with (or kidnapped by)....the baddie Hasuda, the massage therapist who Nice and Murasaki were supposed to watch. Now...this is where more insanity takes place. Hasuda has taken over the building. He must be up to something no good. He must be a Minimum Holder yes. Be on your guards guys. can allow to do...push-ups? For a long 1 minute? One minute is a long time in anime land. He is like behold my minimum holder ability!.......and got on the ground and did some sit ups. Maybe everyone was so...shocked from the insanity all they could do is stop and stare. Like oh...there is a half dressed man threatening us and now he is doing push-ups. I see now. I almost got second hand embarrassed watching this. Like MOG stop...or I will have to fast forward.
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Don't go towards the pink light!
For the record these massively awkward sit-ups did have a point. Because remember these Minimum Holders are like the X-men without the convenient abilities. See his ability is to seduce men with the smell of his sweat. Yeah excuse me while I barf and die. His scent got caught in the steam at the onsen and he could control a lot of people that way. I am not sure the thugs were all under his spell though. I think.... Hasuda and the thugs were in the same “club” and they were supporting his efforts. All the other men in the onsen, including Birthday and Ratio who got too close, were just....extra. Extra on the gay pride parade float. More of the insanity includes the fact that no one really tried to harm Hasuda nor did Hasuda attempt to harm Ratio and Birthday once they were in sexy lala land. Make love, not war.
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Good thing you didn't leave him completely unguarded.
There was temporary retreat to get Ratio and Birthday back to normal. As normal as things are going to be now since they are going to have nightmares about being bottoms in the sit up orgy parade. How about you tell us why you guys are here? Oh you guys are here to guard a Prince from a magical country that doesn't exist? Anime has a lot of those you know. Small countries with dark skin royalty who love Japan. This Prince super loves Japan but wants to experience it without all the body guards and fanfare. So...logically someone hired Birthday and Ratio to not pay attention to him at all. Like how is this happening? Whoever hired them should be fired. Or get a refund. They were shooting the breeze with the others. Or...not looking for the Prince like should have. One sneak off and other fight Mr. SitUp.
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Covering our noses would just make sense so just stay back!
I think I might have passed out or blocked out what happened next. I know everyone was slowly making their way to Ass. Hajime was using her...unexplained power to protect Koneko and that other girl. Oh I think Honey did something too, I remember her eating the little lollipop. Put things in your mouth and get some powers. All the boys were tracking down Hasuda. And then it turns out Hasuda found the Prince hiding in the bathroom. No one else in the building was a real threat or had powers, Minimum Holding powers anyway. There were all in this for another reason.
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This is the most elaborate and stupid plan in the history of plans.
And what was that reason? Are we sitting down folks? Because....every single piece of this episode went together. Everything. And our heroes combined information to...blow our minds away. Or our sense of reality. Hasuda is Ms. Cougar boyfriend. But he doesn't like her. Or any woman. No no, Hasuda likes men. And has a crush on a certain idol. You remember that shoplifter from earlier? Yeah he used to be a “famous” idol. Super famous. But like most idols in Japan Mr. Shoplifer was under heavy scrutiny. Like no love life for you. Mr. Shoplifter.....sorta lost his mind and his penis got him in serious trouble. Like 19 people idol scandal. It was involving the Ms. Cougar lady and apparently she caused Mr. Shoplifter his career. Because the Japanese take the idol industry seriously. Like their idols are supposed to be “pure” so the fans can imagine themselves with them. Here in America, we tend to accept pairings and we forgive more when famous people mess up. But not Japan.
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I am just so happy and confused. break this down...Mr. Hasuda is Mr. Shoplifter's number one fan. All these fabulous thugs are Mr.Shoplifter''s fans. They want him to reach the top again. They are going to kidnap the Prince and use Hasuda's Minimum to influence the Prince into becoming a Mr. Shoplifter's fan. The Prince will then influence the Japanese government to reinstate and back up Mr. Shoplifter. This would please the Japanese government, Mr. Shoplifter would be back on top of the idol charts, and.... Hasuda would be in jail? Yeah I am not sure how he thought that was going to work out for him. Maybe he was going to sneak out undetected...until Hamatora showed up. Putting it all on the line for an idol that doesn't really know him. Ah that's love folks. True love.
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Is this really happening?
While everyone digests this insane plan...things get a little desperate. In an effort to protect their boss Hasuda's men....slide on the ground. Yes slide folks. Water got everywhere and the grunts were turning into little...projectile missiles to stop the Hamatora men. Like if Jaws was a comedy instead of a horror movie. I was 15 kinds of special. one was trying. Hajime ends up saving the day and surfing on one of the thugs. At the time it looked like Hajime was trying to save Hasuda who was going to commit suicide to protect his fabulous men. But all she wanted was the food voucher. So...yeah folks. Ain't no one getting paid.
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Yeah....didn't see that coming....
So what does any of this have to do with Gasquet and me learning his name? Well he was there when Mr. Shoplifter was apprehended and was all like see, people do care about you, don't throw your life away. Then Gasquet goes to talk to Doc (whom doesn't need a name anymore) about the Moral case and the dead Neet. Doc tries talking about his this killing is connected to the Minimum Holder case but the Neet still had his brain. Meaning you can't give the Minimum Holder ability from a person who was also given it. The person has to be born with it for it to be transferred. Gasquet is like oh interesting....STAB!!! Like out of nowhere just stabs Doc to death. Sorta like Saw Part 15 when the cop goes bad. Like really, where were my clues? Gasquet get a crazy look on his face so...yeah. He is working with Moral. Probably gives him the addresses to all the Minimum Holders in the system. Instead of being worried about Nice Art needs to worry about his partner. Are Nice and the gang next on the hit list? Guess we will find out next time. See ya!

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