To Aru Kagaku no Railgun Episode 13: Boobies

No.

Do not want.

Fan service? In my anime? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

I hate this. After such a run of excellent episodes this was bound to happen. Why am I surprised?! Why am I so upset?

I am tempted not to say anything about this episode. Because it was all about boobies and fan service. And I am very much against boobies and fan service. But since most boys blogging about this episode will go MOG AWESOME I feel that I should shed a different perspective on this hot mess.

Boobies? I mean MODELS! Silly me.

Boobies. Lots and lots of underage boobies. I feel kinda dirty for even watching this episode. :( I thought that maybe the girls were taking a break from demon fetus killing and were spending some time at the beach. I thought MAYBE it would be slightly bearable or I could at least laugh at Kuroko’s stupid behavior.

So you don't know these nearly naked photos are going to be used for? OKAY sign us up!

But no. The swimming club girls (last/only seen in episode 2) want to make a calendar or something for their school. The company sponsoring the club wants to use underage girls as models for their websites. At least that is what I took away from it. Whatever the explanation I find it creepy and weird and gross. You need a bunch of 12/13/14 year olds to model for a website so you can give them a few bathing suits? Yeah this sounds like a great idea.

No thanks. We don't want to board this fail boat.

I also thought it was special that instead of the swim team (not just two of its members) doing the swim suit photo shoot that random friends were allowed to partake in this magical calendar event. Such high high standards this huge company has. Almost reminds me of America’s Next Top Model. Lets use naive kids for free advertisement. Such an awesome idea.

Hello minor characters. Please join us for the fail parade.

So everyone gathers together for this awesome photo shoot. The swim club girls, Misaka, Uiharu, Saten, and Kuroko. Also joining in on this fail boat of fun is Konori (Kuroko’s glasses wearing superior who is the oldest out of this awesome group at about 16) and Kongo, the annoying fan girl who has had nothing to do with anything up until this point.

Before picture: Normal junior girl figures.

After picture: INSTANT BOOBIES!

So we have a bunch of junior high kids and ONE high school student who is the closest to being of age (U.S. wise). And despite this being an anime none of the girls (minus Konori) has what I call a swimsuit body. Which they SHOULDN’T at this age. That I can get behind and agree with. But why then recruit them to make a calendar. X_X It makes no sense.

Then we are told the girls aren’t going to any beaches or exotic locations. They are seriously going to a big building that has super duper advanced technology and can create a realistic backdrop of your desired location. And by realistic I mean the water feels real, the sand feels real, and the sun/elements feel real. So in addition to not paying for models they also don’t have to pay for travel or location or hotels. This company is AWESOME!

I would like to go on record and say that such a reality seems so very, very sad. I hope we as a society don’t create technology like that of this fictional city. The idea that instead of traveling to faraway place where I can experience the awesome culture and beautiful scenery I can instead go to a cold, plain building and virtually experience….something that is not really there. As it is now we don’t have to write letters to people anymore, we have email and Facebook and twitter. We don’t have to visit people for the holidays; we can just hop on our webcam and say hi that way. So….with all the technology we already have we don’t need an excuse for not traveling to awesome places! End of rant that was much clearer in my head.

This has been censored out of concern for your safety. You're welcome.

So our girls change into their bathing suits. They look like normal 12/13/14 year olds before they put on their suits but now they have all grown boobies. It is amazing. Except Kuroko who looks like she has the body of an 8 year old. I seriously nearly threw up when I saw her suit. Just…I need to take a shower after watching this episode.

Smiles for everyone. Well except for Kuroko but that's okay.

Then it is photo shoot time. I guess I should thank my lucky stars there was no pervy old man taking their pictures. There could have been but we are told the ROOM is taking pictures. Awesome. The girls are told to act natural so Misaka runs around trying to kill Kuroko, that fan girl acts like a moron, and the other girls act like this is a day at the beach. Sounds normal to me.

Saten will save us all!

The “fun” part of the episode was when the room goes into crazy land and sets the girls up in less than ideal situations. A blizzard, a fishing boat in the middle of nowhere, and the desert with its blistering heat. Yay for two minutes of actual fun…
Then the machine/room needs to be reset so the girls are allowed to take a break from “modeling” and are told to make themselves some lunch. They are given real ingredients which is nice. What with the real running water the real log cabin has I was a little bit worried about where they were going to get real food. It must be MAGIC….I mean science.

This just in: Making food is boring.

The rest of the episode was boring as boring can get. Kongo was a jerk about making curry and lies that she knows some awesome curry recipe. The girls cook, they bond, it’s less than magical….just blah. Boring and blah.

I should be happy I got a bit of Touma in this fail episode right?

I guess the best part of the episode was at the end. Misaka wanted to try on a “childish” bathing suit (when I think it was more age appropriate) and this time Uiharu and Saten decide to be good friends and say YEAH try that baby on. Only Konori did not get this memo and calls the swimsuit childish. In any event all the other girls are leaving the AWESOME LOCATION but Misaka stays behind. She goes and tries on the suit….but accidentally presses a button that makes her room visible on the building’s live broadcasting thingy thing. She is oblivious of this fact and frolics along in the water. Touma passes by the building and sorta laughs at her misfortune. THAT part of the episode was funny.

But as a whole this episode was really, really stupid. Which is lame considering how awesome the last story arc was. While I realize it is hard transitioning between main subplots I don’t think we viewers deserve something….like this.

But maybe the boys who like this series appreciated this episode. I hope someone did. Moving on to episode 14 please. Hopefully with 100 percent less bikinis.

Also BOOBIES! Thought I act like a 14 year old boy since it was made for one.