Amagami SS episode 3: Knee sex alert!

I’m sorry, I should say popliteal fossa sex. See people, anime can teach you new things. Before I was just an uneducated pizza delivery driver who went around calling it the part behind your knee. Or the bending part. But now I am in the know people. And now you are too. Popliteal fossa. Because whoever invented the terms for our bodies were high at the time.

I shall never forget. NEVER!

In case it was painfully obvious yet this will be a snark post. If you are here to read about how someone loves your favorite show….no. But I still think you will like what I write as it is written from a place of gentle snark. That and you can’t really argue with what I have to say.

Warning! Popliteal fossa sex scenes await you after the cut. Get the eye bleach!

Also WOW XO Half of my blog list already posted their episode three reviews. :( I feel so slacky even though I posted as soon as possible.

He needs to do some landscaping then XO

Episode Summary: Junichi is having the best life ever. Really everything is magically better in his life now that Haruak said it was okay to like her. His teacher and a few classmates pick up on this and congradulate him on not being such a loser. Only Haruka gets jealous of all the attention he is getting and pulls him aside. But after she gets called out on being jealous she decides that Junichi’s eyebrows don’t deserve to be kissed. Junichi manages to convince her that to let him kiss her if he can find a secret place. This ends up being in a pump shed off campus. Inside Junichi has decides since the lips are off limits he wants to kill the area behind her knee….like a dog. Haruka agrees and ON TO THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE THING EVER TO WATCH! At times it looks like she is taking a dump on him. When Junichi tries going up her leg he is yelled at and he acts….like a dog. With the whimper and all.

Junichi being a year younger is Haruka's only problem. Exactly.

The two go back to school and Junichi turns into a pervert. The next day Junichi stalks Haruka and begs her to let him have knee sex with her again. She calls her friend later that night. The conversation is frustrating as Haruka should be saying MOG how do I get rid of this perv boy but she ends up asking if it’s okay to let a younger guy spoil her. SPOIL PEOPLE! The friend says yes and Haruka acts like a kitten the next day. Because people because. Junichi finds it cute and promises to give Haruka a cool lunch experience. This turns into…..a kidnapping scenario and Haruka ends up seducing the entire lunch room. Oh feed me more you sexy kidnapper. But Haruka is happy so that is all that matters people. THE END!

Wow. Okay. I think I need ice cream and Code Red to get through this post. I need to find my happy zone.

No. You are not cute. This face doesn't work on me!

Upon finding joy at the bottom of an ice cream bowl I finally realized what Amagami SS actual is. How exciting for me! I shall share the news with all now. Amagami SS is a How to guide for dating. Well really it is a How NOT to. Now don’t you feel enlighten?

How can someone look plainer than Junichi?

Instance one: Junichi is on cloud nine. This makes sense…if it applied to Sakura. Things seem really amazing…when you are with that person. The way the twirl their pencil is cute. The way they trip over invisible things on the floor is adorable. Holding hands on the way home is the best date ever!! However things like studying in class and eating lunch outside on the roof are still boring/normal. Stop acting like this is normal behavior. Lies people, lie!

Truly the place of dreams.

Instance two: When your dream girl decides that you are allowed to kiss her but only in a super secret spot don’t make that spot a water pump shed. That is not the place of dreams. Although most teenagers think the back of a car is a romantic spot to have fun time….still! That is not the point. Go find some secret spot in the woods. Sheds are not romantic despite the fact that manga/anime characters like to get locked in them with their significant other/romantic interest.

Such a formal request.

Instance three: When the super cute senior says you are allowed to kiss her (besides her lips) do not go for area behind the knee. The well known popliteal fossa if you would. Granted I think Sakura was right. I get all squirmy when my husband grabs me there. Curse him for learning more of my weak points. But that is besides the point. Why would you want to associate yourself with a dog when trying to win your girl over? Why would you want her to associate these kisses with dog licks? WHY?! Also I got super uncomfortable watching this whole scene.

This totally turns me on, a girl taking a dump on some dude.

Insert porn music here!

Instance four: If one is going to allow a boy to kiss her knee bits…it is not totally necessary to bend over and nearly show off the panties. It is not a romantic second kiss spot so I guess you have to add sex appeal to the situation somehow. So guys, this is not how the situation would pan out. Mainly because I am sure you would have been dropped kicked long before this happened.

How about you smack him?!

Instance five: Pretending that the girl does give you permission to make out with her knee area…do not cry like a puppy when you are told no. I mean, does he get a cookie for not picking that area to begin with? Not in my book but I am a hard girl to please. But when you break the rules and you get yelled at it is not sexy to whimper and curl up on the floor. You want this girl to fall in love with you not pity you and take you on walks in the park.

OH I see the spoiling now...

Instance six. I believe “being spoiled” must mean totally different things to me and to insane anime land. Because to me that means allowing him to shower me with attention, take me on dates, and maybe let him buy me some cute things. Meowing like a kitten is not what I would call “being spoiled”. The fact that he liked you randomly changing personalities does not mean he “spoiled you”. It means you are both freaks and deserve each other.

Beg for it!

Instance seven: It is not romantic to pretend hostage/hostagee in the middle of a cafeteria. It really isn’t. I am not sure how romantic this scenario would be at all unless it was a couple who were going to partake in sex right after this scene. That I could see. But not a couple who really isn’t a couple and only have eyebrow kisses and knee smooches under their belt. This is way too advanced for these two special people and the game is way too private for all eyes to see. So when trying to make lunch slightly more interesting do not pick that storyline. Just say no.

No everyone has lost their minds!

So in conclusion….just say no to everything you see in Amagami SS. Never apply anything you see or hear in this show to your real life. Also I am not even sure how this is supposed to be romantic. Creepy boy who wants to have knee sex? Crazy girl who acts out sex scenes in the lunch room? Meowing=spoiling? I am just…..confused people. Confused on how this is supposed to be a romantic show.

I need more Code Red.

Can I run away too? Only away from you!