Things cost money?! Questions can be stupid?! Also bonus fun of getting burnt!

Dear people of Earth

I realize that my job isn’t rocket science. It does at times require me to move pretty dang fast and make sure a bunch of small tasks are done before the rush but overall a well behaved 13 year old might be able to handle my job. Well except the driving part. One needs to be at least 23 to be as great a driver as I am.

So if my job is easy enough for a 13 year old to do then being my customer should be just as easy right?

Somehow I think that is not the case.

Love Tenchi

Also as a fun bonus I will reveal at the end of this post where I got burnt today. Let’s see if anyone can guess it right!




I know at some places you have to check and make sure that cheese comes with your product. Some places cheese is not included. I get that. Our pizzeria is not one of those places. When you order a cheese and pepperoni pizza and I write down pepperoni don’t flip out on me because I forgot the cheese. IT COMES WITH CHEESE! You also didn’t mention sauce but you are assuming it comes with it right? Please be assuming that with pizza. Don’t go I want a cheese pizza with….3 toppings on it. That is not a cheese pizza. Stop making things complicated and freaking out because I forgot the cheese. It comes with cheese!

Know what you want to order before you dial the phone. Yes you are my customer but that doesn’t mean it’s polite to poll the entire house and the dog on what kind of pizza they want as I can only watch helplessly as my co-workers fall further and further behind. Also stop apologizing every 5 seconds of taking so long. Why don’t you take a clue and hang up the phone? Call me back when you finally decide on what your family wants to eat (which is the same thing EVERY WEEK but meh).

Yes we close at 8 tonight. It is currently 8:10. I like answering the phone after hours because I hate myself. So me answering the phone is not a sign that we are still opened. We aren’t. Sorry. Really, I know it sucks to be carving something and looking forward to it all day and you barely miss out. But I put my big girl panties on and eat something else. I don’t try to beg my way into a closed establishment. So sorry dude we aren’t turning the ovens back on, dirtying all the dishes, and waiting for you to show up so you can buy one pizza. It’s not worth our time. And speaking of time I am sure after a long day of work you would be upset if someone came in after hours and made you work longer. We were opened for 9 hours today. Please note that for next time and plan accordingly.

Oh so you thought calling back and asking for a manager would magically make the time not 8:11? That somehow the situation was different and we would be more than happy to make you your one pizza that wouldn’t cover the costs of us staying open during that time? Yeah too sad for you the owner wasn’t there and the person in charge said no dice. Too sad for me for not answering the phone the second time.

For people who think they deserve special treatment because they know the owner guess what? I know him too. I actually have conversations with him that don’t including asking for special favors. And just because you say hi to the person making your pizza doesn’t mean you are now friends. So you know the owner just as much as I know the person who rings me out at Borders. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Especially if you don’t even know the owner’s real name.

In fact, everyone out there…stop asking for favors. We are a small business. Times are tough. Stores are closing left and right. So why do you think we are a nonstop freebie machine? I especially like the people who want us to fund their high school kid’s Ms or Mr. High School Pageant. Really, what kind of expenses going into that small affair? But I also love the churches who hold out their hands for fundraising stuff yet NEVER order from us. Thanks for the support.

I know this is a shocking concept but extra things cost extra money. You want our one topping special? Great but I am going to charge you for that side of ranch dressing. The cost of your pizza doesn’t cover your extra side of sauce. Just because you spend money at our restaurant ( a very small amount for one pizza I might add) doesn’t entitle you to all the little extras. And it is ALWAYS the people with one pizza who want to milk us dry. It’s never the people who have $35 or more orders. So yes cheapskates I will charge you for your three extra salad dressings. The boss may hand out free things all the time but aw he’s not here right now. So sad for you. Now give me 50 cents.


My butt. Well the very upper part of my butt but way too high to be labeled as my back. Thanks co-worker for opening the oven door while I was bending over to get something. Apparently I am invisible. Also I realize that this sounds really bad for me but I swear these pants fit perfectly fine and I am not wearing low rise pants. It was just random act of….pain. Kinda hard to ice your butt.