Friday, July 17, 2009

My epic adventure into Moron Land

Yes another night with a very spazzy internet connection and I am going stir crazy. Sorry 07-Ghost :( You won’t be posted tonight either.

So instead of trying to catch up on anime LIKE I WANTED TO DO I will entertain the masses with my stories from work. That and try to keep myself awake while watching this lame horror movie (The Return of the Living Dead sucks!!!!)

Being the massively punctual person I am I arrived at work around 11:32. As I walk in some pizzas are being taken out of the oven and I am told I have two deliveries. They are both in the same direction but not close to each other. It isn’t too bad though and I plan out how long it should take me and I figure I can make it back and take the third delivery (taken right before I left) and still make the 45 minute mark on that one.

Clearly I was wrong.

Things started off okay. My first delivery was to a building…let’s call it the Newspaper R Us. Since my delivery slip said Newspaper R Us I figured that it was a newspaper place *shocker* and would be a standalone store. I see the Newspaper R Us building from the road and pull into the parking lot. Struggling to carry all 6 pizzas at the same time and waiting for some stupid brat to MOVE from the door I enter the building.

Instead of being a newspaper building it appeared to be a building that housed different businesses. There were two different type of medical clinics and down the hall what looked like to be a newspaper place. Now since I can read and follow simple directions I did start going towards the newspaper part of the building. But since I am posting this as an epic tale of stupid the story cannot be that simple.

As I was walking towards the newspaper section of the building I was stopped. I heard “OH the pizza is here”. I turn around and see the person who said that standing near one of the clinics. He was holding the door open. I believed that someone knew what was going on. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

I enter the office and another person says “oh the rest of the food has arrived, you people are going to be eating good today”. Now this person was a patient. I understand that what he says doesn’t really mean anything. So I go up to the front counter person and say “HI did you guys order pizza? The name is under Kristy?” I was informed to take the pizza to the back with the rest of the food.

In the back room were two men setting up some fancy look salads. Pizza and salads often go hand and hand so this was all making sense to me. I set up my pizzas and went back up to the front to collect my money. She again asked who ordered the pizza and I said Kristy. She then said “Well, our rep isn’t here yet but she will be here shortly and she will pay you”. Great I think, this will throw off my tight schedule and I grumble to myself how pizza drivers get screamed at for being late but the customer’s can take their sweet time paying me.

Of course this was all in my head and I smile to these clinic people and sit my happy self down. I sit next to the pizza and watch as more clinic people come by and go MOG PIZZA I can’t wait and OH this smells yummy.

Ten minutes go by and I am pretty pissed. Where the hell is this lady? Now the second delivery is pushing the 45 minute time limit and I will be beyond late for the third or it will be taken by someone else. Either way I will lose money.

Suddenly I hear “Oh she is here!” Finally!! I stand up and go “Kristy?” She looks at me confused…..”No?” Err…okay. But I smile anyway and say that the pizza is here.

“I didn’t order pizza, I only ordered the salad”

And then the room blew up.

Or really I did. I didn’t say one word. People probably sensed my anger and were saying OH maybe it was for another office in the building? Really, really?! You think?! YOU FUCKING THINK?! You all were talking about how this was YOUR FUCKING PIZZA for the last 10 minutes and now it’s not?!?!?!?

In 5 seconds flat I was in the newspaper office asking if they ordered pizza. Of course it was a yes. I mean, it said so ON THE FUCKING TICKET!!! I can read and follow simple directions right?! Why did I believe people when they said the pizza was there and the person who was paying for the pizza was on their way? Why did I assume they knew someone named Kristy?! WHY?!?!

So I stomp myself back to the clinic office and get my pizza. The only silver lining on this entire shitty situation is that no one started to eat the damn pizza. Oh and I don’t think I made a great impression with my aura of doom. Don’t think the clinic people will be ordering any time soon.

Back to the newspaper portion of the building. Turns out these people had been calling my store to figure out where I was. Great, this is going to be fun to explain. But before that can happen, Kristy, a person who actually exist, nearly DIES when she sees the price. Wtf, who took the order and didn’t give the people the price?! THANKS! Thanks for adding to this crazy day that is my life.

So after guilt tripping me about how they were waiting and how they had a limited lunch break and this was a treat and blah blah. I get paid. And I get tipped. A decent tip but at this point I am lucky to get anything! One of the nurse clinic people brought over my bags because my aura is that scary. As I was heading out someone came out of their cubical and said “Oh there you are!!” Like who the hell are you? Turns out that home girl saw me in the parking lot struggling with the pizza and was wondering where I was for the last 15 minutes.

You…saw me struggling in the parking lot and didn’t help me by opening the door. You….saw that I didn’t come skipping in the door with said pizzas and didn’t say anything. 15 damn minutes go by and you don’t think it is odd or worry that I have been kidnapped by pizza loving morons?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Am I in the twilight zone?! Could this entire situation been avoided had you stuck your head out of your office and said over here pizza girl?! WHAT HAVE I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!?!?!

I stomp off to my car with as much anger as I can pull off. I am sure with my Hello Kitty shirt and overall less than menacing frame it wasn’t very effective. I slam the door and notice my phone has a bunch of missed phone calls, all from my work. Yeah, I am sure if I had my phone on me at the time this all could have been avoided. Since it is the middle of the day, the delivery place is a huge building with lots of people, and I know where I am heaven forbid I think that I don’t need my cell phone. That is what I get for thinking.

As I drive like a speed demon to location number two I call the store and get my manager. I get a dramatic sigh and GASP you are now just leaving area one?! WHERE WERE YOU?! I was feeding starving kids in Africa, where did you think I was?! No, really, where did you think I was? I enjoy making money so it is in my best interest to be an efficient driver and actually deliver pizzas. I try to explain what the hell just happened but apparently it was busy back at the store and there was no time for my drama. Whatever, I have to fly anyway.

I get to delivery place number two. Turns out that when delivery place one called and was confused on where I was my manger called delivery place number 2 to see if I went there first. Which I hadn’t. So when I walked in, trying to play it cool like I just hadn’t wanted to murder 15 people..I am greeted with well THERE you are. Oh this is going to go over swell…….

When I get back to the store 23 minutes after I estimated I would I had missed not one but two more deliveries. -__- And I had to explain to my manager why I was stupid and didn’t go directly to Newspapers R Us. Because you know that didn’t cross my mind at all.

After this dramatic morning the night shift was even more fun. There is a co-worker who got sick with some disease that I thought was beyond rare and/or died out a long time ago. I heard he got sick with this said disease and I was X_X. But he lives, he will be fine, and is no longer contagious.

Now a normal person who is put on some major medication to help recover from a serious condition will take time out to get use to said medication and slowly gauge how much they can do each day. Said co-worker is a teenager so he doesn’t have to work. And I keep saying co-worker….but he worked at a different location and due to circumstances we are stuck with him.

So why am I talking about this poor sick kid? Because he was at our store today. “Working”. And by working I mean he went to get himself at another restaurant, sat down on the counter to eat said food, and….that is about it. He was given a task a 5 year old could perform but he decided to go about it in the slowest way possible. When I informed him of a faster way to do said task he smirked and said he was going slow on purpose. And then he gave up halfway through said task. And then I had to finish said task.


Now I do not hide my dislike over situations well. One could say I am pretty blunt about being pissed off. So I went over to my boss and explained to him the situation. What was I told?

“Well what do you expect??! He just got over being sick. We are lucky he is even here at all”

After I regained consciousness I kept playing his words over and over again in my head.

What do I expect? I expect people who are paid to work come to work…and WORK! I also expect the boss, YOU, to not call in said sick boy and ask him to come “work”.

He just got over being sick. Really? I didn’t know that. Oh and if he just got over being sick and he still gets dizzy and he can’t stand for long periods of time…why is he here?! On one of the busiest nights of the week?!

We are lucky he is even here at all. Yeah, let me tell you how lucky I feel that I get to work twice as hard, as do my other co-workers as you pay someone to sit on their butt and not do any work. You must be my lucky star!!

So after all the drama of work and no computer and the damn cat throwing up even after I spent major bucks on appointments and special cat food I come home to take a relaxing shower. What do I find when I enter my house?



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