CANAAN episodes 3-5: The show you should be watching

I must thank American TV. Since there is nothing on TV 90 percent of the time despite of the fact I have like 300 channels I have a lot of time to catch up on anime. In theory of course since I can get a little sidetrack. XD But it gives me an opportunity to watch 3 episodes of a show at a time and get some blogging done.

Anyone who gave up on CANAAN because the first episode made no sense SHAME ON YOU. You better get back on track and give this show another chance. Yeah it still isn't making any sense but it is fun the way it makes your head confused. Come back and experience the confusion!

Here is my take on episodes 3,4, and 5 of Canaan. Beware of randomness and slight Maria bashing. Come on, Maria is way too special not to bash and you know it is true!!!



Episode 3 Maria is stupid


Since I have decided to blog these cluster of episodes I really shouldn’t mention that I was going WTF and What the hell is going on the entire time I was watching them. Just be aware that was going through my mind for all three episodes.

Maria and Minoru follow the mute cat lady (name is Hakko by the way). Her boyfriend/owner of the bar/owner of Hakko kicks them to the curb five minutes after they arrive. But not before there is a random boob scene. Well maybe not so random as Minoru sees a weird mark near Hakko’s breast, the same mark that was on the random dead people in the street. I found the whole club scene a bit much and too rushed. Also Maria just going with the flow while weird things are happening is annoying.

Have some side boob with your action packed anime.

Even though Minoru and Maria stay at a different hotel than Canaan instructed them to Maria is able to track them down. Because Maria has a kind color and no one else has a kind color in the entire city OF COURSE. Minoru has a brain so he wants to know why Canaan was shooting people and leaping from buildings like a freak. Canaan rather go play with Maria which consists of shopping and Canaan breaking necklaces because she is way too strong. Canaan decides that Maria says amazing too much…and calls Maria amazing too.

Random message is funny and gives me hope at the same time!

At this point I am wondering how a girl like Canaan became friends with a girl like Maria. Okay Canaan saved her life…but so what? Maria is like on planet special and Canaan is on awkward moon. Apparently I am not seeing the value of special in Maria but Canaan is lacking the part of her brain that registers that Maria is annoying. So I guess it works? I am still not impressed that they are MOG close friends after one meeting but meh. I guess it should be more of a surprise they have been able to meet up in such a random place. But let’s not ask questions people DUR.

But Maria is forced to ask questions later. Or stop being so stupid. Last episode she and Minoru were chased by an old dude and a young kid. Since the old dude died it is revenge from the young kid time. He manages to trick Canaan and she is separated from Maria long enough to kidnap said special ed. He then plants a fake bomb on her head and makes her swear to be quiet. Canaan shows up and the youth taunts Canaan. He brings up his dead brother and how his exposure to the Ua virus and made him rapidly age. The youth has been affected himself as he reveals he squeezed himself in the tiniest hole in the room. When he says he swallowed the way to set Maria free Canaan starts threatening him. Maria can only look on as Canaan shoots the boy and TADA there was no bomb at all. The youth smirks as he DIES and slides into the water. Maria recoils at Canaan’s touch and all is sad.

You are such a winner nameless random kid! Has a gold star.

Really now? Really?! I can understand the youth wanting to kill Canaan. I can see using Maria as bait. But what was the young kid trying to prove to Maria?! What Canaan was a killer and a great big meanie head? Oh he sure showed Canaan by DYING! So I wasn’t really impressed with that part of the episode. It would have been much more interesting had the young kid tried to fight for his life. I am not sure why driving a wedge between Canaan and Maria was important but YAY little kid. Or not so little kid as he was affected by the Ua Virus and stopped growing. In any event he is dead.

Maria was in some deep denial. Really Canaan was a normal girl up until this moment? She was jumping on roofs shooting people and bouncing like the energizer bunny? That is a lot of special Maria. Not to say that Canaan wasn’t just as special. Yes Canaan, when you shoot innocent looking kids (or not) it makes you a murderer. DUR!


Episode 4- Maria is still stupid

Oh thank God this episode had a bit of back story. Not that I really have a firm grasp of what is going on but every bit of information helps take me from the land of WTF into OH I UNDERSTAND. XD

Get out of my mirror!

So there was a group of people who invented the Ua virus, that somehow has a connection to Maria. She was either the first host or the first person they tested it on or the person that made the virus possible. Whatever the case may be the virus was unleashed upon an entire village. OF course there aren’t that many survivors as it looks like the area was bombed first but that is just DETAILS! People who survived the virus and the blast are known as Borners (not Boners as I first thought when it flashed across the screen….). The mark they have on their bodies are blood vessels rising to the surface. Something happens to the inside of their bodies and organs change/regrow themselves to form different functions that before. AKA you can be a random old guy who jumps around like a leap frog or you can be AWESOME like
Canaan.

AW much love to younger Canaan!

This episode shows us why Canaan is the way she is. After this explosion/virus Canaan was found by a man named Siam. He raised her to be the awesome killer that she is today. I am not sure whose side they are on but their tattoo might be snake like. I am inclined to think though the Snakes were not their best friends forever as the leader of the Snakes Alphard kills Siam. I think it is safe to say that Canaan was being raised to stop those kinds of people. So Canaan is all sad face and
is now working with serious glasses wearing chick to stop the Snakes. I think.

Why do we see this flashback? Because Canaan is boo hooing about lose. She has lost Maria to the cold reality that yeah…she is a killer. And sometimes when you are a killer you end up killing people. Despite being such a killer Canaan seems to be a kind girl at heart. I hesitate to use the word simple because that better describes Maria and her DEE DEE DEE moments. But yeah Canaan proves to be a confused girl who reacts on her crazy emotions. She proves that when she tries to go after Alphard at some kind of party. She goes in with no game plan and only lives because Alphard is having too much fun enjoying Canaan’s pain. :( Have a game plan next time Canaan. And don’t jump off buildings when you aren’t in the right frame of mind to land properly.

Maria was still being special in this episode. She was moping around acting like the world was ending. NO WE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Canaan can’t be a killer people! Minoru tries to cheer Maria up by taking her out on the town to a crab place. That random girl who has been at every single restaurant/shop is there again acting like a fool. Maria decides she wants to take a walk in a huge city alone at night and she is a dingbat. It is almost like she wants to get in danger so Canaan can come and rescue her again, just like she did before. But instead of Canaan riding in to save the day the random girl from before does. Random girl is named Yun Yun and Maria latches on to her like a crazy person.

Maris is such an idiot. Now she trusts a random girl who shows up everywhere you go?! Is that a red flag or what?!Who walks around alone in a city where you don’t know the language? Why can’t you accept the fact that you didn’t know Canaan before and this is who she really is. It is almost like Maria had part of her brain removed and she can only be happy. HAPPY PEOPLE!

I hope Canaan squishes her in the last episode.

The part of the episode that focused on Alphard and Liang (her crazy sister) was kinda boring. Although them attending an anti terrorist meeting when they are the terrorists is amusing. And Liang only shooting blanks/pop darts instead of real bullets is also amusing. I don’t like how Alphard is playing with Canaan and I hope
she dies. DIE BITCH!


Episode 5 MOG MARIA IS SO STUPID!

A key for the door DUH!

Not only is Maria bestest best friends with a girl who is a killer and she didn’t know it, she decides to spend the night with a girl she doesn’t know. She didn’t even know Yun Yun’s name until after the kidnapping took place (or shortly before..). She spends the night at Yun Yun’s place which is the equivalent to a shack. It is a tiny boat with no sides so it is basically living out in the open where people can rape you and take your body and throw it in the river. Since you are on the river they don’t have to move it that far.

Not that Yun Yun isn’t very special herself. For a while I thought she was too stupid to be a bad guy. Then I remember Shugo Chara Doki and their crack team of scientist and realized that Yun Yun is the perfect bad guy. She is totally expendable and no one would ever guess she is out to kill you! Perfect plan, like stuffing a bomb in a child’s toy. And we learn that Yun Yun’s actions are forgivable as the Borners rely on the Snakes to stay alive. Which makes sense. They were exposed to some crazy virus and their bodies mutated into weird things (even though Yun Yun got the very short stick in that aspect too and has no awesome powers). So not only is Yun Yun poor and depends on the Snakes for money she has to do their dirty work so she can get her happy pills and stay alive.

Best friends forever!!!!

Not that any of this matters to Maria (mmm sentences that start with Not...). She wants to be friends with EVERYONE! Ignore the fact that Yun Yun strapped some explosives to her stomach and dragged her to the top of a really tall bridge. Also forget the fact that Yun Yun tried to blow up Canaan and drown her in the river. Canaan can’t kill Yun Yun. Yun Yun is the magical girl that brought her and Canaan back together. All can be forgiven now people! Canaan and Maria made up. All that crap Yun Yun doesn’t matter. Let’s take her back to our hotel and protect her from the Snakes. Of course knowing Maria she might not realize that the Snakes are a terrorist group and not some little animal at the Chinese zoo.

You just keep that plot moving there Minoru.

There was more action at the boobie bar with Hakko and her man. I wish there wasn’t so many boob jokes but meh. Minoru has to have some reason for being there. He is keeping the plot on track and providing the comic humor at the same time. I wish Hakko could talk but I am sure it has something to do with her being a Borner. I wonder if her super power has something to do with having big boobies MMMMMM.

So I think CANAAN works much better if you watch it in huge chunks instead of one episode at a time. It leaves me less confused. XD Of course I could wait until the entire series is out like The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya to be even less confused but I am not that patient. XD I need to watch it NOW! But I will enjoy the confusion and the boobies and the stupidness that is Maria because despite all of that the show is excellent. WATCH IT NOW and be confused with me!