CANAAN Series Review

The tale of two Canaans and the different paths they went down.

I finally did it. After months of putting it off, watching new series, and having to deal with Megavideo stopping me every 72 minutes I have finally watched the entire series of CANAAN. I mean…the series only ended September 26th…not like Chrome Shelled Regios and its 68708 months agoness.

I’ll stop patting myself on the back long enough to review this series. We also should take time to thank American TV land for being so epically boring that I have tons of extra time to catch up on my anime. Maybe one day I will catch up on some really old stuff and LOST. Poor forgotten LOST.

So…as this is going to be a review for an entire series you better be expecting some spoilers. But you can also expect some Tenchi honesty, some Tenchi ranting, and some Tenchi praising. Enjoy.





I decided that to get the whole CANAAN experience I would have to re-watch the 5 episodes I had already seen and watch all 13 episodes in one day. Now normally this would take about 5 hours. But Megavideo hates me soul and apparently I am too full of fail to use the bypass thing right. So between all the episodes, waiting, and random wasting time on the internet it took me 9 hours. That is some real dedication.

When I first started watching CANAAN I was confused. Utterly confused at times. Almost mind exploding confused. But I thought that CANAAN was one of those animes that would start off confusing and it would gradually explain all this randomness to me. So all these months of not watching CANAAN in the back of my mind I imagined some awesome answers to this complicated plot and that I was a fool for waiting so long to watch this series.

It's raining deadly viruses WOOT!

Now that I have seen episode 13…I am still just as confused as I was when I left off months ago. Very few things got answered, tons more confusion stuff got thrown our way, and the viewers were dragged through some crazy plot and we never had a chance to fasten our belts.

Part of the problem seems to be CANAAN is the continuation of the game 428: Fūsa Sareta Shibuya de. That is good and all if you played the game. Everything will make sense to someone who played the game and its complicated plot and will go YAY at the end of the day. However I am not one of those people who played the game and apparently this show does not stand well on its own.

This has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Just thought it was funny how Alphard said it.

Case in point being the Ua virus. Maria was infected with the virus two years ago (in the game). Despite the fact that Alphard would yell at Maria about how she forgot and it was insinuated that by the end of the series we would actually see what Maria forgot and Alphard was alluding to….we didn’t. We never got an explanation. Unless you count the very tiny explanation Minoru got from his boss. But there was no explanation on why Maria had no memories of the event or what the event was about.

....So why was Siam killed again?

It was also implied in the middle of the series that Alphard wanted to keep Maria alive for some reason. That reason was bigger than making Canaan so mad that her powers would go insane and Alphard would have a worthy opponent. I feel as if Maria was supposed to infect other people and all would be her fault. Perhaps that is not what was implied at all but that is what I took away from the dialogue so it was disappointing that Maria was just a “light”, that it could have been anyone.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO why was Siam killed again?

But at least the Ua Virus gets a bit of explanation late in the series. The Snakes never do. We never learn what Alphard really wanted or why the Ua Virus was created by the U.S. and the Snakes. We never get an explanation on why after the fact the Snakes try to kill the U.S. president and blow up their own facility and generally being freaks.

Why does Canaan need to be free? You killed him...

But I guess the thing that bothered me the most of the lack of information about Alphard and why she wanted to kill Siam. Was Siam training this Canaan to kill his previous Canaan? The way Alphard was acting at the end of the series about killing Siam made me think she really didn’t want to…despite the fact that she was smiling while she did so and blamed Canaan. You typically blame people for your mistakes when you feel guilty inside. But given the fact that everything was confusing about this series I might just give up trying to understand.

Canaan is shocked over the hardcore nature it takes to shoot off your own arm.

For half of the series I thought Canaan was a victim of the Ua virus. Because I am just that special. But then it turns out that Canaan was just born special and that her village also got wiped out for no reason. So my stupidity did have a bit of reasoning behind it. But I do think it is lame that the Ua virus was created to make another Canaan. There has to be an easier way than creating a virus that kills like 95 percent of the victims within 12 hours and the other 4 percent aren’t any use to the project. A lot of time and effort into a process that didn’t produce any results. Unless you think your voice being a weapon is the same as being Canaan.

Who picked this name again?!

I would like to say something like “putting aside all the confusing stuff”…but I can’t. It really impacted the story for me. So many things were left unanswered or the viewers were expected to know information based on the game. Why was the U.S. involved in this crap? Why is Alphard a terrorist and what were the terrorist after? And why are bloggers happy that Alphard lived?! She wasn’t a bad guy from a sad past turned good. She is a bad guy who still is a bad guy and killed countless people!

So….trying to put aside all the confusing stuff, the story had promise. Maybe if there had been more episodes they would have had time to hash out the characters and story lines. But for now I classify it as one big X_X.

I felt bad for that guy and how he felt guilty over Hakko. I do not feel bad for Hakko at all.

The character I hated the most was not Alphard and not Liang Qi (whom is a crazy child from hell) but Hakko. Sure she starts off as the eye candy and innocent like woman child. But then Canaan shows up and Hakko is all evil glares and half ass attempts to kill the girl. Because Hakko is insane. Sure something really crappy happened to her but be mad at the person who caused this all (see the dead guy you is having sex with). Canaan being born with a special ability isn’t her fault. She isn’t the one who paid people to spray crap all over your village and infect people with crazy juice. I understand her craziness and why she wanted to die in the end but her bitterness towards Canaan made me hate her more than the real villains.

After all she has been through she can still smile...

Canaan, despite all the confusion surrounding her, was my favorite character. A girl with a positive body type, a “killer” with a sense of innocence about her, and a genuinely good person. In this kind of anime it is hard to find someone with that mix of qualities. Some people might fault her for being so focused on Maria and Siam’s death but for some people that’s all they have. They have no reason to live for themselves so they focus on protecting one person/idea. Now I do think it was super dramatic that she and Maria can’t be together. Canaan killed (or thought she killed) the baddies so why can’t she give up being an assassin and live life as a normal girl. But we all must be sad in the end and Canaan is still a paid killer. She seems happy knowing Maria is out there alive and well so I shall be happy for her. Despite all the crazy stuff she went through.

One last pity party for the road.

I thought Maria was going to annoy me more than she did. She was annoying but not to Kuroko levels of annoying. Her amazings were cut back dramatic after she opened her eyes and saw the truth all around her (which is ironic since she became a cameraman to show people the world around them and she can’t see anything either). In fact her cheerful personality wasn’t annoying but her massive pity parties she had about not being a good person and blah blah blah. But she didn’t suck and hopefully this experience teaches her to be a better person.

As everyone stares at her weirdness.....

The other characters really didn’t get enough screen time for my liking. YunYun was fun to watch and despite the fact that she was “a bad guy” her circumstances were very sympathetic and she deserved to live in the end. Cummings not so much. And for the entire series I thought Liang Qi was Alphard real sister. Crazy bad guy was crazy. Minoru was there to try to bring Maria back down to Earth and focus on the important issues which he did well. He lost points with me though when he didn’t really grieve Hakko’s death and talked about her ass instead.

The art for this series never faltered for a minute and the music always seemed on point. There was a lot of details in the background and the mood of Shanghai was captured well, the good and the bad.

So while the show didn’t meet up to my high expectations (which only increased every time I delayed watching the series) CANAAN was still a good show. Not that I understood everything that was going on at all times but it does well to draw in a large audience. We will forgive each other, me for putting off watching the episodes and CANAAN for falling short and not explaining things better.

MMM winter anime season is letting me catch up on other things. But also BOOOO!

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CANAAN episodes 3-5: The show you should be watching

I must thank American TV. Since there is nothing on TV 90 percent of the time despite of the fact I have like 300 channels I have a lot of time to catch up on anime. In theory of course since I can get a little sidetrack. XD But it gives me an opportunity to watch 3 episodes of a show at a time and get some blogging done.

Anyone who gave up on CANAAN because the first episode made no sense SHAME ON YOU. You better get back on track and give this show another chance. Yeah it still isn't making any sense but it is fun the way it makes your head confused. Come back and experience the confusion!

Here is my take on episodes 3,4, and 5 of Canaan. Beware of randomness and slight Maria bashing. Come on, Maria is way too special not to bash and you know it is true!!!



Episode 3 Maria is stupid


Since I have decided to blog these cluster of episodes I really shouldn’t mention that I was going WTF and What the hell is going on the entire time I was watching them. Just be aware that was going through my mind for all three episodes.

Maria and Minoru follow the mute cat lady (name is Hakko by the way). Her boyfriend/owner of the bar/owner of Hakko kicks them to the curb five minutes after they arrive. But not before there is a random boob scene. Well maybe not so random as Minoru sees a weird mark near Hakko’s breast, the same mark that was on the random dead people in the street. I found the whole club scene a bit much and too rushed. Also Maria just going with the flow while weird things are happening is annoying.

Have some side boob with your action packed anime.

Even though Minoru and Maria stay at a different hotel than Canaan instructed them to Maria is able to track them down. Because Maria has a kind color and no one else has a kind color in the entire city OF COURSE. Minoru has a brain so he wants to know why Canaan was shooting people and leaping from buildings like a freak. Canaan rather go play with Maria which consists of shopping and Canaan breaking necklaces because she is way too strong. Canaan decides that Maria says amazing too much…and calls Maria amazing too.

Random message is funny and gives me hope at the same time!

At this point I am wondering how a girl like Canaan became friends with a girl like Maria. Okay Canaan saved her life…but so what? Maria is like on planet special and Canaan is on awkward moon. Apparently I am not seeing the value of special in Maria but Canaan is lacking the part of her brain that registers that Maria is annoying. So I guess it works? I am still not impressed that they are MOG close friends after one meeting but meh. I guess it should be more of a surprise they have been able to meet up in such a random place. But let’s not ask questions people DUR.

But Maria is forced to ask questions later. Or stop being so stupid. Last episode she and Minoru were chased by an old dude and a young kid. Since the old dude died it is revenge from the young kid time. He manages to trick Canaan and she is separated from Maria long enough to kidnap said special ed. He then plants a fake bomb on her head and makes her swear to be quiet. Canaan shows up and the youth taunts Canaan. He brings up his dead brother and how his exposure to the Ua virus and made him rapidly age. The youth has been affected himself as he reveals he squeezed himself in the tiniest hole in the room. When he says he swallowed the way to set Maria free Canaan starts threatening him. Maria can only look on as Canaan shoots the boy and TADA there was no bomb at all. The youth smirks as he DIES and slides into the water. Maria recoils at Canaan’s touch and all is sad.

You are such a winner nameless random kid! Has a gold star.

Really now? Really?! I can understand the youth wanting to kill Canaan. I can see using Maria as bait. But what was the young kid trying to prove to Maria?! What Canaan was a killer and a great big meanie head? Oh he sure showed Canaan by DYING! So I wasn’t really impressed with that part of the episode. It would have been much more interesting had the young kid tried to fight for his life. I am not sure why driving a wedge between Canaan and Maria was important but YAY little kid. Or not so little kid as he was affected by the Ua Virus and stopped growing. In any event he is dead.

Maria was in some deep denial. Really Canaan was a normal girl up until this moment? She was jumping on roofs shooting people and bouncing like the energizer bunny? That is a lot of special Maria. Not to say that Canaan wasn’t just as special. Yes Canaan, when you shoot innocent looking kids (or not) it makes you a murderer. DUR!


Episode 4- Maria is still stupid

Oh thank God this episode had a bit of back story. Not that I really have a firm grasp of what is going on but every bit of information helps take me from the land of WTF into OH I UNDERSTAND. XD

Get out of my mirror!

So there was a group of people who invented the Ua virus, that somehow has a connection to Maria. She was either the first host or the first person they tested it on or the person that made the virus possible. Whatever the case may be the virus was unleashed upon an entire village. OF course there aren’t that many survivors as it looks like the area was bombed first but that is just DETAILS! People who survived the virus and the blast are known as Borners (not Boners as I first thought when it flashed across the screen….). The mark they have on their bodies are blood vessels rising to the surface. Something happens to the inside of their bodies and organs change/regrow themselves to form different functions that before. AKA you can be a random old guy who jumps around like a leap frog or you can be AWESOME like
Canaan.

AW much love to younger Canaan!

This episode shows us why Canaan is the way she is. After this explosion/virus Canaan was found by a man named Siam. He raised her to be the awesome killer that she is today. I am not sure whose side they are on but their tattoo might be snake like. I am inclined to think though the Snakes were not their best friends forever as the leader of the Snakes Alphard kills Siam. I think it is safe to say that Canaan was being raised to stop those kinds of people. So Canaan is all sad face and
is now working with serious glasses wearing chick to stop the Snakes. I think.

Why do we see this flashback? Because Canaan is boo hooing about lose. She has lost Maria to the cold reality that yeah…she is a killer. And sometimes when you are a killer you end up killing people. Despite being such a killer Canaan seems to be a kind girl at heart. I hesitate to use the word simple because that better describes Maria and her DEE DEE DEE moments. But yeah Canaan proves to be a confused girl who reacts on her crazy emotions. She proves that when she tries to go after Alphard at some kind of party. She goes in with no game plan and only lives because Alphard is having too much fun enjoying Canaan’s pain. :( Have a game plan next time Canaan. And don’t jump off buildings when you aren’t in the right frame of mind to land properly.

Maria was still being special in this episode. She was moping around acting like the world was ending. NO WE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Canaan can’t be a killer people! Minoru tries to cheer Maria up by taking her out on the town to a crab place. That random girl who has been at every single restaurant/shop is there again acting like a fool. Maria decides she wants to take a walk in a huge city alone at night and she is a dingbat. It is almost like she wants to get in danger so Canaan can come and rescue her again, just like she did before. But instead of Canaan riding in to save the day the random girl from before does. Random girl is named Yun Yun and Maria latches on to her like a crazy person.

Maris is such an idiot. Now she trusts a random girl who shows up everywhere you go?! Is that a red flag or what?!Who walks around alone in a city where you don’t know the language? Why can’t you accept the fact that you didn’t know Canaan before and this is who she really is. It is almost like Maria had part of her brain removed and she can only be happy. HAPPY PEOPLE!

I hope Canaan squishes her in the last episode.

The part of the episode that focused on Alphard and Liang (her crazy sister) was kinda boring. Although them attending an anti terrorist meeting when they are the terrorists is amusing. And Liang only shooting blanks/pop darts instead of real bullets is also amusing. I don’t like how Alphard is playing with Canaan and I hope
she dies. DIE BITCH!


Episode 5 MOG MARIA IS SO STUPID!

A key for the door DUH!

Not only is Maria bestest best friends with a girl who is a killer and she didn’t know it, she decides to spend the night with a girl she doesn’t know. She didn’t even know Yun Yun’s name until after the kidnapping took place (or shortly before..). She spends the night at Yun Yun’s place which is the equivalent to a shack. It is a tiny boat with no sides so it is basically living out in the open where people can rape you and take your body and throw it in the river. Since you are on the river they don’t have to move it that far.

Not that Yun Yun isn’t very special herself. For a while I thought she was too stupid to be a bad guy. Then I remember Shugo Chara Doki and their crack team of scientist and realized that Yun Yun is the perfect bad guy. She is totally expendable and no one would ever guess she is out to kill you! Perfect plan, like stuffing a bomb in a child’s toy. And we learn that Yun Yun’s actions are forgivable as the Borners rely on the Snakes to stay alive. Which makes sense. They were exposed to some crazy virus and their bodies mutated into weird things (even though Yun Yun got the very short stick in that aspect too and has no awesome powers). So not only is Yun Yun poor and depends on the Snakes for money she has to do their dirty work so she can get her happy pills and stay alive.

Best friends forever!!!!

Not that any of this matters to Maria (mmm sentences that start with Not...). She wants to be friends with EVERYONE! Ignore the fact that Yun Yun strapped some explosives to her stomach and dragged her to the top of a really tall bridge. Also forget the fact that Yun Yun tried to blow up Canaan and drown her in the river. Canaan can’t kill Yun Yun. Yun Yun is the magical girl that brought her and Canaan back together. All can be forgiven now people! Canaan and Maria made up. All that crap Yun Yun doesn’t matter. Let’s take her back to our hotel and protect her from the Snakes. Of course knowing Maria she might not realize that the Snakes are a terrorist group and not some little animal at the Chinese zoo.

You just keep that plot moving there Minoru.

There was more action at the boobie bar with Hakko and her man. I wish there wasn’t so many boob jokes but meh. Minoru has to have some reason for being there. He is keeping the plot on track and providing the comic humor at the same time. I wish Hakko could talk but I am sure it has something to do with her being a Borner. I wonder if her super power has something to do with having big boobies MMMMMM.

So I think CANAAN works much better if you watch it in huge chunks instead of one episode at a time. It leaves me less confused. XD Of course I could wait until the entire series is out like The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya to be even less confused but I am not that patient. XD I need to watch it NOW! But I will enjoy the confusion and the boobies and the stupidness that is Maria because despite all of that the show is excellent. WATCH IT NOW and be confused with me!

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Status on CANAAN blogging

Well as of right now…there isn’t going to be any. And even though it is easy to blame my slacker ways there are actual reasons behind the nonbloggingness (not so much with not catching up with Chrome Shelled Regios and Umi Monogatari. Those are cases of the laziness).

Nope it's not because of the random boobies! Try again!

And before any rabid CANAAN fans attack me no, the reason isn’t because I think the show sucks and is unworthy of my blogging. Put down the pitch forks and listen to what I have to say. XD And I bet you will agree with me.

This is the most random scene....ever. In the history of anime. Maybe.

The first episode was MOG confusing. But that often happens with new animes and I accept it. I thought maybe waiting a few weeks and viewing the episodes together would make it less confusing.

Sing when you are in danger!

I just got done watching episode number 2 and yeah…my brain feels like exploding. There is just a lot going on. So much that I don’t think I could write a summary that made sense. Or one that flowed well. It would be full of “and then some other random people were doing this. And then another group of random people were doing this”. I have NO IDEA what is going on.

Who the hell is the bad guy?!

And in some shows that works. Like Pandora Hearts. Most of the time I am going WTF is going on….but it seems to be okay at the end of the day. The plot seems to flow together in a way that doesn’t make sense but it can/will one day. There aren’t 5832 characters out there doing their own thing. It is easier to try and fill in the blanks with Pandora Hearts.

Is everyone trying to kill everyone?!

With CANAAN everything seems like a mess and that this mess is here to stay. Maybe things will get better with episode three and four. So I am not saying I am giving up blogging this series. I find CANAAN very interesting series and will continue to watch it. And I might pick it back up again (blogging that is) once things make sense to me. Or things don’t seem so entirely random. XD It will be more fun to blog about something when I know what I am talking about or have coherent ideas on what might be going on.

Exactly.....

But CANAAN is a great series really. Even if I have no idea what is going on it is very unique. The art is well done and no one can accuse it of copying anyone. XD So everyone watch/pick up this series and join the confusion!!

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New Series Alert: CANAAN episode 1

Do we all remember yesterday? Yesterday when I said that Umi Monogatari episode one went really, really slow? Like snail pace slow? Remember when I said that I would be the first to complain when if a series had their first episode explode with plot and confusing crap?

XD Well we have a winner with Canaan. Not only did nothing make sense but everyone seemed to be ignoring the fact that people were being shot all over the place. XD So an anime show that agrees with the fact that everything is totally insane and nothing makes sense YAY!

Plushie abuse already?! FOR SHAME?!

I am not quite sure why I picked this particular anime show to watch. Most of the summer anime list didn’t catch my eye so I went the snobby route and went based on the animation. I did check out Anime News Network to see what the plot was all about and here is what I found:

The modern-day story centers on a detective, a young man, a virus researcher, and a cat mascot character who are brought together in the Tokyo neighborhood of Shibuya by bizarre events with worldwide implications.

Okay not much to go on but has some potential. And I do love me some cat mascots. Maybe they are being vague with the plot so they can wow us with something awesome later. I mean, what could these characters have in common and what are the bizarre events? Now I am curious and I must investigate.

Let's start things off with...things that make no sense.

Since this episode makes no sense…I won’t try to make a summary. If I did it wouldn’t make sense and would probably be 156839486 words. So the condense version is as follows: Two people working for a rag newspaper show up in China in time to cover a festival. Despite the fun times people are being murdered all over the place and it turns out that Maria’s old friend Canaan is taking them out. She seems to have super powers as she leaps through the streets and fires on people who also have special powers (not as special as hers) and they appear to be attacking her first. Elsewhere there is a girl in a bathtub thinking about her sister and Canaan. Two business men introduce the viewer to the term Synesthesist, a person who has super control of their five senses. Bathtub girl talks about her sister a lot and how she can “feel her”. And somewhere else people are getting arrest off a boat. Later one of the people from the boat (a girl who looks like bathtub girl) is being escorted by a caravan of important looking people. Things end in an explosion as someone tries to free Van girl. Oh and everyone at said festival fails to notice that people are dying all over the place. THE END!

You and me both sister!

Well then…..yeah. So. That was nothing like the short summary I read at all. Sure there was a young man (or at least I am going to assume the reporter is a young man) but where was the detective, virus researcher, and cat mascot? And I am pretty sure this event took place in Tokyo. The festival was in China. Um, so perhaps the tiny summary (with obvious mistakes) was either not very accurate or episode 1 will tie into the plot in some magical way. And it will have to be very magical at this point.

So…let’s pretend that little summary doesn’t exist. We are also going to pretend we don’t know anything about the game this show is based on or anything else. Because I don’t. XD

I think I will need a third eye to understand this all....

A lot is going on in this first episode. A lot. Almost to the point where my brain exploded. I wish they did a better job of explaining who people are. You know the drill, in the first episode where everyone says everyone’s names even though it is obvious that these people are close and probably shouldn’t be saying each other’s names and occupations so obviously. Clearly Canaan did not get that memo.

Yay for festivals...and bullets! XD

So let’s try to concentrate on what we do know. The episode takes place during festival time in China. I would say during New Year. But all is fun and people are laughing and taking part of the good times.

Um...you didn't see the dead body before you took the picture?

Well except for the people wearing masks and dying once said masks are taken off. Going by what another character says earlier it appears these mask wearing people are suffering from sensory overload. Canaan appears to have this ability as well but her brain doesn’t explode if she isn’t wearing a hat. But putting aside what their problem is…everyone is not focusing on the fact that the people in hats were dying all over the place. Instead they were playing around their dead bodies and acting like it was all a big game. Yay for people not noticing MOG dead bodies.

Um...are you all seeing the dead man flying into the river? Yes? No?

So okay maybe we could give a little bit of slack to people not realizing that people are not having fun and they are indeed dying. I guess I could see how a bit of their behavior could be perceived as goofy and fun. But how about when people started to get shot? How did that look like part of the show? I mean, what part of this celebration would include people randomly falling down from gunshot wounds?

I hope they are not that stupid...

At least the reporter guy (Mino) realized that something creepy was going on. I think the photography chick (Maria) also understood the MOGness seriousness of it all. But when she was talking to Canaan not so much? She wanted to be with people and the lights? Yeah it is a festival and all but did you not just see the dead body you just took a picture of? Did you not just see the gun shots and the danger? Yeah it is not time for complaining about being away from people. Now is the time for hiding. But Mino tried explaining that even though people knew what was going on it was too much for them to handle and they had to lie to themselves. I am sure that will play into the sensory overload stuff later.

I wish my eyes were that cool....

Let’s talk about this wonderful sensory overload stuff. Not that there is much to talk about as it was barely mentioned. But we do know that the people in the hats were not in control of their ability to use sensory overload and went splat. I keep using the term sensory overload but really they call a person who can use all five senses at the same time a Synesthesist. You know, like the color red sounding like the color red and smelling like the color red. I guess if I wasn’t in control of a power like that my brain might explode too.

Behold her nakedness!

The people who might be in control of their powers include Canaan, naked bathtub girl, and the girl in the van (leader of the snakes). I say might because I am not sure about those last two girls but Canaan for sure. In case it wasn’t obvious with her eyes turning all sparkly and her seeing things all crazy. The bathtub girl was acting pretty weird about “sensing” her sister (whom I assume is van girl and not Canaan). In any event this power seems pretty cool and hopefully it will be explained more, even if I wasn’t expecting the show to go this route.

Too much plot!!!

I think the plot had way too much going on for one episode. We have the organization called the Snakes who use to have an in with the CSI. Canaan may or may not be part of the Snakes. Maria seems to know Canaan as does bath tub girl. We have some shady men talking about Synesthesist and they seem to be working out some kind of business deal regarding people with those powers. We have Mino and Maria covering an event that turns into a bloody mess.

Opening theme song A plus!

Perhaps the next episode will make more sense and I will be able to write a more extensive summary. It is worth a second episode though…just to see what the heck is going on. XD

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