No shirt, no pants, no pizza!

This is the year 2010. I get that we are no longer afraid to show skin above the ankles and that people can really see our shoulders and the world will not end. We no longer need to hide ourselves under yards of fabric. We can swim in the ocean without fear of our tablecloth of a swimsuit dragging us to the bottom. And really this mostly applies to women who in the past were forced to cover up and were taught to be ashamed of their bodies. Progressing from the Little House on the Prairie days to now is a real step up for women. In most countries at least.

However, despite all this liberation and progressive thinking it is not polite to force your nudity on others. There is a difference between being comfortable in your own skin and forcing others to be uncomfortable while you frolic around in your naked glory.





I realize that many people will differ on what kind of clothing is deemed too revealing/inappropriate. So when a man comes to the door in his boxers I will go X_X on the inside but at the end of the day the naughty bits are covered and there is no use complaining (that much) about the situation. Likewise if someone comes to the door in a towel or something that I wouldn’t personally wear when opening the door to a stranger. People often order pizza when they don’t want to leave the house so they are wearing something comfortable.

But it is NOT okay to sit on your front porch sunbathing naked. I mean, I am not even sure if you are legally allowed to do that but that’s beside the point. The point is you ordered a pizza. You paid for a stranger to come to your house to deliver a pizza. Maybe you were sunbathing before and decided you were hungry in the middle of it. Or maybe you had plans to sunbath after I left. I don’t know and really I don’t care. What I do care about is that the second I pulled into your driveway (connected to a busy road) I could see you, all of you.

People have been telling me since it is your house you can do what you want. I guess I could put aside the point that this didn’t happen in a house but in the front yard but that doesn’t matter. You could have answered the front door naked and it still would have been inappropriate. Just because you own property doesn’t mean you have the right to make strangers that you hire to come to your house feel uncomfortable. People want to go on and on about rights and blah blah but apparently I don’t have rights when it comes to seeing unwelcome nakedness.

Let’s pretend that this was all an accident and you really are flaky enough to continue/get naked when a person is coming over to deliver you pizza. When I arrive there should be a moment where you go OH CRAP and cover up right? Not STAND UP and walk over to get the money when the man sitting near you (wearing clothes Thank God) could have done that. I know intimate details about your life now that I didn’t need to know before. But since you stood up I know that you have no consideration for others and you operate in your own world. Who cares about people’s feelings when you have a right to sunbathe naked right?!

I think some people focus too much on themselves nowadays and don’t take others into mind. This lack of thoughtfulness is overwhelming to me and I wonder how people can be so selfish. I also wonder why my mother wasn’t more upset when I told her my sad story of woe but moms aren’t always suppose to make sense right?

The icing on this….fail cake is today, the day after (tomorrow) sunbathing naked girl I go to a house where there is more nudity. At first I just though oh she is wearing a large set of pajamas and not all the buttons are buttoned. But the large shirt that only had the chest buttons buttoned was the only thing home girl was wearing. And the way her house was set up I was about eye level with her crotch. Did I mention the shirt was spread open after the buttoned up part? Did I mention that my eyes nearly popped out of my head and I started to ask God what I have done to deserve this two days in a row.

I’m not trying to be a prude. By all means have awesome sex and run around naked in your house. If one is having a lazy day I don’t see the point of getting dolled up. Wear something comfortable. Wear nothing at all. But when you have someone coming over to do a job for you show some courtesy. You don’t know the person opening the door and how they would react to your state of undress. It is not the end of the world to wrap a robe around yourself for 2 minutes while the transaction is being complete. Wait to have the awesome sex until after I arrive so I don’t interrupt you and see you answer the door naked but you think you are hiding this fact by hiding behind the door (which would work better if you didn’t open the whole door which gives you less to hide behind). I swear it won’t kill you to be out of YOUR comfort zone for a few minutes so you can avoid making a stranger uncomfortable.

But really, what do I know? All my male co-workers were jealous of this AWESOME thing that happened to me. Maybe I am the crazy one.