But putting the pity party aside it is time for a movie post! I was a bit of a slacker last month so I am doubling up for the month of February and March. But there still aren't a lot of movies in this post. :( I have been marathoning a lot of anime series in my spare time so my movie watching time has been cut short. That and pokemon sucks up spare time too.
Yet this post will contain the most epic scifi movie ever. That is pretty exciting stuff! Quality over quantity I say. Here is a list of the movies I watched so no one will be spoiled! Enjoy reading my snark reviews!
28 Days Later
Premonition
Slither
Dragon Wars
Dead Heat 2
28 Days Later
I have watched part of this movie but never the entire thing. So I watched 28 Weeks Later before the original. That is just how I roll. But I think this ZOMBIE movie was pretty good. I actually like how the ZOMBIE apocalypse happened in this movie. I knew PETA was evil deep down. Or I should say I knew one day they would be our undoing.
I really liked all the survivors and hated the soldiers. As it should be. Jim was probably in the best position viewer wise as we are experiencing his fear in this new world. We learn from Selena how being kind can mean death in certain situations and that one must be jaded in this new world. We feel bad when Frank dies (in a really stupid way too…) and Hannah tugs at our heart strings. And all the soldiers can die…OH WAIT THEY DID. XD So yeah, I like this ZOMBIE movie. I am not sure which is a stronger movie, 28 days or 28 weeks. Not sure where 28 months is going to go either.
Premonition
I actually didn’t see the last 20 minutes of this movie. Not because it was boring or horrible but it was like 4:30 in the morning and my eyes were way too tired to stay away. But from what I saw I did like. Like most J-Horror movies the pace was slow and the action scenes were few and far between. A lot of quiet moments and the suspense was supposed to carry the movie.
I like it when the older man turns grey. XD Not sure why but it was funny to me.
The movie was kinda depressing. If you save people you die. So okay why make a newspaper that foresees the future if you don’t want people to change said future. We Americans had a version of this movie in TV form and the dude got to save lots of people and everything was wonderful! Not this movie though. People must be punished for trying to change the future. And oh happy ending the kid that was dead the entire movie but got brought back when her father gets the situation right….will die anyway because now she gets the paper. YAY HAPPY ENDINGS!
Dinoshark
This movie was so awesome it was The Soup’s clip of the week! I love the scene they picked too. You know, when the big boobed, semi intelligent woman randomly takes off her top. Oh hi I was looking up websites about prehistoric demon dino sharks (and there were a lot of websites too) but now I must take my top off at this very moment and look shocked! Classic.
But we didn’t watch the movie from the plot right? We wanted to see the death scenes. Which we didn’t get. Computer technology is really affecting all my Sci-Fi movies! Make a fake computer monster and have people flail around like the monster is attacking them. This is what happening in Dino Shark. The shark was deep under water and we get a scene of someone getting pulled under. I WANT BLOOD AND GUTS!
But demon dino sharks can fly people. And professional water polo girls can’t swim. Tis awesome!
Slither
I actually thought I had already seen this movie but I think I only saw a few scenes. Like the girl who turned into a 15 ton blob of slugs. That was pretty gross.
There were a lot of gross scenes in this movie, like the main monster/main at the end. Not a lot of gore so to say what with the victims twitching and then becoming a monster themselves. This movie relied on gross and in delivers gross.
I think gags and the funny cop were supposed to carry the movie. Might have been stronger with more substance but the movie was decent.
Dragon Wars
This movie….is the best SciFi movie of all times. That might be because this movie was actually made to be a block buster movie and was Korea's largest-budgeted movie as of 2007. They spent 44 million dollars on this fail! That’s what makes it so awesome. We mock the scifi movies because of their poor quality special effects and lousy actors but Dragon Wars shows us you can poor millions into a movie and it can suck even worse. Thus it is the best scifi movie of all times!
The entire time I was watching this movie I was like “So…this is a Korean legend that had Korean star crossed lovers and now they are reincarnated as white people in L.A.? I am not one to usually go MOG pick the “right” people for roles but this movie seriously would have been better with the myths and legends and customs had they taken place WHERE the myth and legends took place. But then I learned that Koreans made this movie…and picked white people to play the main roles. It is such a mind blowing fact that makes me X_X and laugh at the same time.
The back-story took 20 minutes to explain! And it was explained in such a boring way by reincarnated old white dude that I nearly fell asleep. I think reincarnated young white boy might have at one point. I think reading the “and so and so married so and so” in Genesis would have been more amazing. But yeah. The back –story should have taken so long.
The new reincarnated lovers spent 20 minutes on screen together. Enough time to make sure we know they love each other and that the girl dying was super super sad. Only not. There was a point to hypnotizing her and showing her the past right? I mean it’s not like the hero knew or anything right? But yeah, not really feeling the love between these two. Just a lot of them crashing the cars and hiding from the mean dragon. How does a dragon hunt them so quietly?
This wouldn’t be an Asian movie without the random flying! But if we get flying that means we get no blood. :( People get stabbed and they just fall down. NO BLOOD FOR YOU!
So since the back-story took 20 minutes and our lovers got 20 minutes of screen that means the remainder of the movie was EXPLOSIONS! Nomming of people and buildings. Rocket launchers on dinosaurs. And yes there were really rocket launchers on dinosaurs. You know the scene in Lord of the Rings where the baddies stomp up with their huge elephants and minions of darkness. That is kinda what happened in this movie only with ROCKET LAUNCHERS!
But the U.S. military was on this people! See these men grew up playing Star Fox so they knew how to keep on talking when baby dragons were trying to kill them. Think Independence Day minus the good acting.
The good dragon, the one who is supposed to eat the girl, shows up 10 minutes before the movie ends. Because him showing up to save the day before people were killed and buildings were destroyed would make too much sense. No no, just let him level the city okay!
Also the alter for this epic showdown is in Mexico. Mexico people. This Korean legend played by white people has the alter of darkness in Mexico.
This movie is epic people! You need to watch it with 15 of your closest friends and mock until the wee hours of the morning. It is….just so beautiful.
“I never asked for any of this”
Really Sarah? I’m not sure anyone asks to be doomed to be eaten by an evil/good dragon. Dumbest line in the entire movie.
Dead Heat 2
I don’t think the original Dead Heat would have saved this mess. It wasn’t funny and it wasn’t scary. It was stupid. The end.
What no spoilers?
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