Split second decisions can ruin an entire day

People are very inconsiderate beings. Every single ones of us are guilty of doing something selfish without thinking about the consequences it will have on other people. We humans want what we want when we want it now and sometimes it is easier to justify your actions by thinking “oh it’s only this one time, I am usually more considerate than that”.

Well you only sometime jerk people….you are still jerks. One might say that you are an even bigger jerk for thinking you are a special snowflake by trying to explain your actions away. If you fail to put your cart away once because you have the kids with you well it sucks just as much as someone who never puts their cart away. The odds of the cart hitting my car are still the same if both of you are next to me in the parking lot. The all the time jerk doesn’t feel bad about their action while the self proclaimed good person should know better. Thus I hate you more.

I’m not saying I haven’t done my fair share of OPPIES before. But I try not to make excuses for myself. If I cut off someone accidentally in traffic I look guilty and don’t get all pissy when I get my deserved honks and middle fingers. When I get a little too excited at an anime convention and take a cosplay picture in the middle of a busy hallway I kick myself for it because I should know better. I have no problem owning up to my own short comings but apparently a lot of people do.

I am sitting here typing in pain hours after the fact. My hate for old people has gone up by 45 percent. Read on viewers.





Being a pizza delivery driver means I am on the road a lot and have to deal with numerous stops and people turning in and out of traffic. In my opinion it is just as dangerous as the highway with people going OH SNAP I need to get in that lane and everyone eventually turning into places without turn lanes that will slow you down. One has to be on their toes and I would like to think my lack of radio makes me a better driver. You can’t blame me for switching stations and missing a lane change.

So here I am trying to deliver some pizzas. I am still in the right hand lane because there isn’t an opening in the middle lane. I am going the speed limit and everything is going fine. I am mindful of the time because there will be another delivery waiting for me when I come back to the store. I am not known for speed demon skills but I am not granny on a Sunday afternoon.

There are some businesses to my right. I see a car pulling up in the parking lot to get back onto the main road. I am much too close to this business for this person (old dude) to even think about pulling out in front of me. He won’t have to wait long though as no one is behind me. He will wait the 3 seconds it will take for me to pass his position and go on his merry way. Sounds easy right?

Life is never that easy when your name is Tenchi though. Never ever.

Old dude decides that he is driving a rocket ship and can go from zero to 120 in a second. Only he’s not. He pulls out in front of me despite the fact I was almost passed his position and starts to accelerate. This is all happening in a matter of split seconds. I do have time to think you FUCKING idiot before I slam on the breaks though. Oh and time to honk the horn in a feeble attempt to stop this all from happening.

My boss changed my breaks while I was on vacation. Thank you boss for saving my life! I slammed those babies hard and made my own set of tread marks on the road. I came inches from hitting his bumper. I am known for my great exaggerations in life but this is the honest truth. I really thought I was going to be in my second accident which almost happened about 50 yards from my first accident (which also included a special snowflake who decided cutting me off was a good idea…).

But I wasn’t in an accident. My pizza bag flew to the ground and my neck snapped back against my seat. My nerves were fried and my body tensed up as if expecting an accident but the car is intact and no hospital trip for me.

In the brief seconds after the almost accident I thanked God and my lucky stars for not being dead. Then I turned into crazy rage pizza girl. This asshole almost kills me because his depth perception is shit. In my mind this wasn’t a car accident, it was a car purpose. He purposely cut me off. And he was not going to get away with it.

Now the first order of business when trying to get back at a crazy road person is to get in another lane to pass them. Well the first order of business was to pull my pizzas off the ground and put them on the seat next to me. It was only for a few seconds so I was hoping that everything would be okay. In my mind I figured the odds weren’t that great but I could dream. I was trying to get in that lane anyway when this near accident happen. And the reason why I couldn’t get over during the almost accident is because someone else was in that lane. I actually pay attention to my surroundings and notice other cars on the road.

But now that lane was cleared. Time to get away from this crazy man so I can express to him properly how upset I was at him. So I change lanes…AND HE CUTS ME OFF AGAIN. He can’t be bothered to actually do the speed limit but he is going to change lanes to the middle lane while I am changing lanes, after I start changing lanes and almost gets us in another accident. Again I slam on the breaks and again my pizzas hit the ground and again my neck hits the back of my neck. Is this seriously happening to me?!

This time I recovered a little bit faster from MOG I am going to die to MOG I hate your fucking guts. I have never laid down on the horn that long in my life. I am sure that the other people on the road unaware of the situation thought I was the crazy one but at that point I was past caring. I was unable to get in front of his guy so for about 30 seconds I followed this guy’s ass and honked honked honked at him. This continued until he cut off ANOTHER person in the right lane almost causing an accident and they honked at him. The torch has been passed and my mind is slightly at ease that I wasn’t “harassing” a onetime incident but a driver who had no business being on the road.

For the record my pizzas were completely ruined. I was nearly to the address so there was no point in pulling off the road to check the pizzas. But yes all the toppings on all three pizzas were flung to one side of the pizza sauce and all. That one side of the pizza looked pretty good considering that they fell on their side twice but it was still unserveable. I called the store to let them know my situation and that I hated all of mankind and that these pizzas needed to be remade. I went inside and informed the customers that we needed to remake their pizzas and I am sorry that there was going to be a delay. Thankful these were decent human beings who valued my life over some pizzas.

The rest of the day I felt fried, like my body never recovered from the almost accident. It was ready for an accident that never happened. My neck started to hurt and I was sluggish. Eventually someone said they would cover the rest of my shift and I gladly took them up on the offer. The second I got home I flopped into bed and took a well deserved nap. I am still slightly sleepy as I type this and my neck actually feels a little worse. But had I stayed at work I know I would be passed out and feeling a lot crappier than I do now.

So let’s review. Some old dude either decided where ever he was trying to get to was more important than where I was trying to get to OR he is actually a really bad driver in his old age and refuses to admit it. Either way he decided he was a special snowflake and the rules don’t apply to him. Due to his inconsiderate moment I was nearly in a car accident TWICE, over 22 dollars worth of food was ruined, 8 people to have to miss their lunch break and wait even longer for their food, cost me the money I would have made in hours and on deliveries, and even now I am in pain and unbelievably tired.

Was it worth it old dude? Were you able to brush it off a few minutes later because you could rationalize me being a crazy driver who flipped out over something so small? Were you able to blame this all on me and all the other meanie drivers who honk at you for no reason? Or did you actually feel bad for the rest of the day?

Let this be a lesson to people out there who think their small actions won’t affect people or if it does it’s not that big of a deal. You are not the only person on the planet. Getting anywhere 5 seconds faster is not worth ruining someone else’s day and possibly killing another human being. Take those 5 seconds and think about the people around you. If you can’t stop and think about how your actions will affect someone else do the rest of us a favor and cut yourself off from society by living alone in a cave. But knowing these kinds of people they would just steal someone else’s cave.