Pizza girl having fun at work! Let's get hammered drunk!

Hard at work or hardly working? XD

I know I complain about my job. A lot. And I like reading stories about rude customers and jobs that suck online so I can commiserate with people who have sucky jobs/customers. But no matter how horrible I make my job out to be sometimes it can be fun. All jobs have (or in theory should) those carefree moments where employees can kick back and joke around with one another. So instead of posting another RARW my job sucks post I thought I would do something different and write a positive work story. Because I am not a negative person. I am a sarcastic and funny one. XD

Click on to read about the special things we talk about in between making pizzas and washing piles of dishes!




-Jesus was the original gangster. In the words of my brother “Think about it. He had 12 men around him at all time, his posse. He picked and chose which miracles he could perform by sending out his underlings to feel out the scene. He got thrown in jail because HATERS BE HATIN and he got betrayed by one of his brothas. When Satan was tempting Jesus, Jesus was like “”You must be trippin dog because I can get all the glory and honor on my own””. Jesus was so gangsta!”

-The topic of what people wiped with back then randomly came up while we were rolling dough. While I grossed myself out with the reality that most people probably didn’t have ANYTHING my brother talked about how in outhouses people had their own personal rags on a rack. I am not sure which is worse. Oh and we are talking about wiping butts. I thought that was clear but not to a co-worker who walked up and only heard half our conversation. XD

-Apparently my brother doesn’t think 2 year olds can talk. He was telling an awesome story about a kid pooping his/her pants all the time at pre-school (which brought up the wipe story) and he then became confused what a two year old could do. He didn’t think talking was one of them.

-We constantly pretend to be a certain co-worker. Said co-worker likes to party and says a few key phrases all the time. When he isn’t around we decide to “pick up the slack” and try to be said worker. We are going to get HAMMERED DRUNK fo shoa! Long hair don’t care! Don’t touch my ovens! These phrases are more fun when you are in the middle of a reasonable conversation and you scream them out at random. XD Okay I guess you had to be there…

-This might come off a little bit insensitive and rude. I accept that. However…it’s really funny. Sometimes when someone is tossing the dough they cut off extra bits and throw them in the trash. Or towards the trash. Stray dough can often be found near the trash can area. One night I look down….and went X_X. My co-worker notices I look strange and looks down as well. She also makes a X_X face. There was a piece of dough on the floor. But this dough curled in such a way that it looked like a developing fetus. But….like what you would see in a jar as a “this is such and such stage in the fetuses life”. So really a dead fetus. My co-worker and I just looked at each and knew we were sharing the same though. The boys however thought we were crazy and that it was just a piece of dough. They lie of course, it was a creepy dead fetus! X_X

-We have this big ugly statue near the cut station. One of those statues that are used to attract customers. Or scare small children. It doesn’t do either because it is in the employee only section. Anyway said scary statue usually holds a sign that says “Welcome to Mike’s Pizzeria”. I walk in the store on Saturday and scary statue is now holding a wooden….knife. A sword of some kind. Combine with his creepy smile and pedophile like appearance yeah it’s a bit interesting. So what do I do when I see this hot mess when I walk into the store? I pick up the weapon and decide I am going to strike a pose. And being that I work with a bunch of teenagers and that I have infected them all with the anime love virus most of the room broke out into a chant of Zanpakutō!!!!!!!! That’s right; our statue is going to go Soul Reaper on your ass now!

-We have a certain co-worker who likes to include himself in conversations. Nothing is wrong with that but his approach is less than smooth. If you are talking about that one time you were bitten by a snake he will interrupt and say “yeah I got bite by two snakes once and what?”. Or maybe you found a twenty dollar bill. He will jump in and say “yeah I found a fifty once so what?” I know it sounds incredibly SNL but he does this with a very serious tone like he believes what he is saying. Now most of the time we just laugh at his silly attempts to be included but there was one interruption that has now become an ongoing joke. We were talking about someone having a near death experience once and suddenly there he was with his “Yeah I have died a few times so what?”. Now usually we continue the conversation at time and pretend that he makes sense. But this time we just stopped. And looked at him. I asked how he died. He said he died several times. Yes I know but HOW. Since he was never asked to elaborate on his interruptions before he was thrown for a loop. Eventually, many weeks later he told us as a child he swallowed a Christmas light bulb. But it was too late. Now when someone talks about something random one of us will go “Well co-worker DIED once”. To which the correct answer is then “Well other co-worker is going to get HAMMERED DRUNK”. Again I think you have to be here to understand…

-Some workers refer to me as Hello Kitty. The special lies in the fact that I know will answer to Hello Kitty.

-Two co-workers had a conversation about Arthur. The cartoon show about a bunch of animals (I think the main character is prairie dog or something) doing….something. I don’t know, I’m not three. My co-workers were not talking about the current show though. They were talking about the “Arthur All Grown Up”. This version of the series has Arthur on drugs, selling crack in the streets, getting women knocked up, and various stays in the slammer. Seriously my co-workers talked for hours about this elaborate made up plot. They would say “Oh and you saw that one right, when Arthur stole the guns from the neighbor and shot up their cat?” and that would lead the other one into describing the episode in more details. It was hilarious all night long.

-We have a chef hat at the store. No one uses it. We actually have a lot of random junk in our store that serves no purpose. One night a co-worker decided they were going to wear the hat all night. She put it on…and I started laughing. No one knew why I was losing my mind so I threw my hands up in the air and started singing “Bork, bork, bork”. Then everyone started laughing except for the hat wearing co-worker. Someone needs to get up to date on their Muppets!

So this is a tiny glimpse into the chaotic world of our restaurant. I have no glamorous stories about actual drug use or coming to work drunk. Instead…we talk about the weirdest things and the time seems to go by faster. And on days like this I hate my job a little less. XD