Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle Chapter 232: The end of a series and my sanity.

Once upon a time I changed the world....

I am almost speechless. In between the tears and the rage I almost don’t know what to say.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is over.

True there is supposed to be an epilogue chapter but unless that said chapter is 30 pages long and 100% more happy…yeah. Just….yeah. Click the link. Spoilers, sadness, and anger await you. And a river of tears.





This series has had a lot of ups and downs for our characters. And since this is CLAMP we are dealing with a happy ending was expecting too much. So I knew that Fai and Kurogane weren’t going to REALLY get together but I was hoping that they would look at each other with a meaningful glance when asked by …err Watanuki where they want to live. The clones would “die” and somehow this would make the world(s) go back to normal and the real Syaoran and real Sakura would cry that the clones had to die to fix real Syaoran’s mistake. But in the end clone Syaoran and clone Sakura were given a third chance at life due to some awesome loop hole and all the sacrifices made throughout the series and they end up living with Fai and Kurogane.

Okay so reading that all over makes it sound like a happy ending. Perhaps the clones don’t end up living with Fai and Kurogane and they assume the clones are dead but somewhere in another universe the clones are reborn with no past memories and we see them passing each other on the street, giving us a glimmer of hope. That isn’t a straight out happy ending and much more open ended which CLAMP likes to do.

Do we get that people? After how many years and volumes and sleepless fan fiction nights do we get that kind of ending? Of course not and you would think by now we would have learned our lesson. This is CLAMP.

First of all we didn’t get an extra long chapter. People on the internet are holding out hope that the last, final NO MORE epilogue will actually explain more and we all can put down our pitch forks. But for now…this was not enough. We had like 5 chapters of shiny battles and Fei Wong Reed saying really cryptic stuff and they tried to end a series that last for YEARS in 24 pages? Yeah it didn’t work.

I want to both cry and scream when I see this feather...

The dialogue in this chapter is either really, really off or meant to be confusing. Me thinks a few things got rushed because we crazy fans wanted this chapter out so bad so right off the bat we get page one…and this.

But despite the Engrishness of this page it is clear what is being said. Everything that is dear to the clones is their memory of the other. That is what this entire series has been about. Clone Syaoran going to Yuko to get clone Sakura’s feathers back. This chapter opener is a bit sad as it reminds the readers the hardships clone Syaoran had right out of the gate. To save clone Sakura he had to sacrifice his relationship with clone Sakura meaning she would never get back that feather memory. For me this picture is that memory that she could never get was what Yuko used to create her (the second time). So maybe Yuko isn’t the crazy bitch everyone thinks she is and she had a reason for every tiny decision in XXXholics.

And silly me I thought this picture was also reminding the viewer that it’s okay that clone Sakura never got her memories back. While her childhood memories of clone Syaoran were very important she created all new ones with him during their adventure and their married life in some alternate crazy time loop. That their past (anyone’s past) doesn’t matter as much as the present or the future. BUT CLAMP HATES YOU AND ME SO THIS IS NOT TRUE!

I think CLAMP likes messing with my mind.

Oh look a misleading art picture that makes you think everything will be okay. Then you remember this is CLAMP and since there hasn’t been any beheadings or cute character death’s yet NOW IS THE TIME. But I still want this in a poster because I am a sucker. Moving on now.

Yes this is fair. Fairest thing ever.

So despite the fact that clone Syaoran just died to create a crack in the random darkness Watanuki and real Syaoran can’t leave. Fei Wong Reed’s voice from the beyond says they both must pay a price to leave. I for one am getting sick and tired of a price for everything! I understand that is the law of the universe and the reason that our heroes are in this mess. Still….these people have suffered SO MUCH!

If you want to be like Yuko you need to learn what people desire most...and crush them with it!

Can’t they just have one magical miracle that doesn’t require them losing a limb, memory, or person? No? Okay Watanuki explain it to real Syaoran that they can’t give up something too big or that would be just as bad.

I am unclear on what real Syaoran wanted to give up before Watanuki’s explanation. He is clutching the feather but knowing real Syaoran he was thinking about giving up his life. Either way the existence of clone Syaoran or real Syaoran would be too much of a price to pay.

But it doesn’t matter what real Syaoran meant to give up as his price. Because now it is time for Watanuki and Syaoran to make absolutely no sense at all! Watanuki thinks about Yuko and how she would be able to tell them what the price would be. At this point I am not sure what these two guys have left to give but I am sure they will think of something (we already know Watanuki’s but still). But then they talk about how the prices have to correspond after they leave the area? Isn’t the point of the price to get out of the area? Or is their wish something bigger than they are letting the reader know? Or am I totally going to crazy town and trying to think too hard about CLAMP’s motives? In any event…what is going on?!

And we are getting this...NOW?!

Then real Syaoran makes the most sense out of everyone in the entire series. How are you supposed to give up something precious to you? If it was that precious you wouldn’t be able to live without it. But we are not told real Syaoran’s price as both boys take hold of the feather and it shines for a random reason.

Thanks for letting us in on the price people. Way to go.

Can I just give up on trying to understand what is going on? I love how Watanuki acknowledges this is a suck ass price and he is probably wrong but he will wait for Yuko anyway. Even after he was told the sad tale of Yuko being stopped in time due the barely wish of Clow. Watanuki fails to see that was a warning to him. And with real Syaoran…well who knows what any of that means. Let’s just move on the sadness okay?

So why are you all doom and gloom in XXXholic?!

The feather glows and Watanuki tells real Syaoran that he is happy that he was born. Even though he said “Thank you for giving birth to me” what Watanuki really is saying “I forgive you for forcing your decisions on to other people and creating me to live a miserable life”. Okay that was a bit harsh. But Watanuki has been struggling with his identity the entire XXXholic series and has questioned his very existence. After being told the truth and learning that real Syaoran is actually him, that he was never meant to exist and only was here because Fei Wong Reed wanted to bring Yuko back to life….Watanuki is able to not have anger in his heart and accept what has happened. That he really believes now that he is a worthwhile being and that he can’t let himself disappear. Or he doesn’t want real Syaoran to feel any guiltier about his wish and that he is okay existing even if that meant the destruction of space and time.

The point is Watanuki is okay with existing and being a part of real Syaoran. This scene makes me think that Watanuki and real Syaoran will never meet again which totally ruins the hurry and save this series/make a happy ending theory in my head. To me this reads as a sad, bittersweet goodbye.

Woot! Your life still sucks! Cue the parade.

So real Syaoran leaves the darkness he is greeted with a beaten and worn Fai, a beaten and worn Kurogane, and a teary eyed real Sakura. She is clutching clone Sakura who has turned into her own feather. Meaning clone Sakura’s feather. I know that the Sakuras were more alike than the Syaorans but it was still clone Sakura’s feather and that feather was probably her memory of Syaoran. It might boggle the mind if you think about the fact that all of clone Sakura’s feathers were scattered from her body when her body is actually a feather itself….but again with the over thinking. And apparently there is no time for over thinking. On to the tears.

Stop messing with my over theorized mind!

Seriously people?! What does any of this mean? Are these really the translations and CLAMP wants me to poke my eyes out trying to understand this stuff? “I knew it would turn out like this but since you would absolutely come home Syaoran…”. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

It can mean two things. One that real Sakura knew all this crap would happen (which makes me roll my eyes as she was asleep for the entire series but anyway) but since in the end she and real Syaoran would be together in the end it was worth it and they can bear all this sadness and pain together. Which would make her evil to not care that the clones died twice for them.

That leads me to reason number two. She knew that the clones would die. But since real Syaoran came back instead of sacrificing himself in the darkness they have a chance to make this right. Meaning that they can bring back the clones and they will be the ones to die this time.

Either choice is bad. It seems that the clones and the reals can’t live together at the same time or this will all happen again. So I am not getting a happy ending and one pair will die. Thanks CLAMP love you too.

This is me 5 feet from crazy town.

Real Sakura says that as long as she and real Syaoran have their memories it’s not the end. Now why would she say that? They are the living pair. They have their memories of the event and the chance to keep making memories while they live their lives. This can only mean one thing!!!!

When someone figures out what is going on feel free to leave a comment and tell me. I would greatly appreciate it.

Real Sakura and real Syaoran look surprised as the feathers of the clones sparkle and enter them. Now my whole this can only mean one thing would be a little more AHA if the reals had a more serene look on their faces, like they wanted this to happen and accepted the fact that they are about to die.

Well not DIE. But allow the clones to be the ones “alive” and inherit the reals memories. That is what I think real Sakura meant by our memories. If she had meant the clones memories she would have said “their”. But she said our. Of course they would have their own memories. What they don’t have are the clones. But if the clones had the reals memories that would make the “our memories” make sense. Are you following me still because I think I have lost myself a bit. What I am saying is that the reals know they will live on as long as the clones still hold their memories. That a part of them will always exist and this is not the end.

Of course this could be taken in the complete opposite way and that the clones will live on through the reals by the reals inheriting the clones’ memories. But given the fact that the clones died twice for the reals and that the reals were never meant to be together I think they are going to give the clones life.

Yes I know that the clones actually had much fuller lives that the reals when you think about it. But real Sakura and real Syaoran lost the chance to be together the moment Fei Wong Reed cursed real Sakura. It was cruel and we all hate Fei Wong Reed (whatever his real reason may be) but real Sakura was meant to die. Real Syaoran created a situation where the entire world was completely messed up just to stop an event that was meant to happen. I wish he could have saved his Sakura but he couldn’t. His decision created clone Sakura and clone Syaoran. They never had a choice in any of this so I think it is only fair that they are the ones allowed to live at the end of the day. They earned that right.

Sensing this two are going to have resolution...

Kurogane and Fai (hi remember us?!) catch Syaoran and Sakura before they hit the water. I say only Syaoran and Sakura because it is unclear who they are. In my heart I want and think they are the clones. But even if I am right they will still have the memories of the reals which would make them the same person. Or perhaps they have gone back to being the person they were always meant to be. Sakura has tears in her eyes and Fai…well Fai has been through so much I am not sure how he can even function at this point.

So what does Kurogane do? Confuse everything again. I love that he did his typical punch on the head means I love you thing. I love that despite everything that has happened and the fact that it turns out to be real Syaoran’s fault he still loves the kid in either form. Kurogane will always be Kurogane and that fact he has stayed the same loving rough guy the entire series has kept my sanity.

Bad Kurogane and Fai! Don't confuse me more than I already am!

HOWEVER!!! Which he is Kurogane referring to? The clone or the real? Both left without saying anything to Kurogane. Then Fai says both of them are sleeping. He is not referring to Syaoran as he is looking up at Kurogane. No he is referring to Sakura. Or maybe Mokona said they were both sleeping. Either way now Fai is making them sound like a merged being instead of just one being in charge. RARW!

Fai...you is trying my patience!

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Fai! I love you but seriously?! We’ll start from there? Could you have said something that made slightly less sense? No I don’t think so. Thank you Fai for that completely crazy sentence and putting MOG thoughts in my head. If that sentence had said we’ll start from here meaning that this is a new beginning now and we will all make the best of all this crap I would be a little bit okay. But it says THERE. Where is there?! When is there?! Is Fai talking about going back to a time? Is he planning on fixing things and they are going to start THERE to fix it?

After posting this I am holding out hope that maybe Fai is referring to their story. That Fai is going to tell this Sakura about their tale and he will start from that point. That the entire Tsubasa series is Fai telling Sakura what has gone on as she might have lost her memories. I might be grasping on straws but I am trying to make sense of what Fai said. It is late and I am slightly crazy.

Syaoran is not much help either with his thank you. Sure he is cuddled up on Kurogane and that makes me want to squeal but…what is going on? I just hope that they aren’t planning on restarting their adventure. That somehow they are going to go back from there and make things right. That they have somehow ended the loop and now they can fix the past. Because it can’t work like that and I am still not sure how the loop was ended. I know it would be way too much to expect someone to explain it right out but if there was a panel that showed a different ending than what we just witnessed I could see what was done differently. For all I know this is how it ended last time and nothing was changed from the last time. You can’t say there was a loop and not show me how it was broken. It can’t be the reals giving the clones life again as the clones were the one who had to break the loop.

Say it ain't so!!!

AND THEN IT IS OVER!! Can you read that?! The dream’s end?! Some dream! Rage fills my soul!!!!

Putting aside the fact I have no idea who is left alive and what Fai meant by his final words there are so many unanswered questions. Where are Fai and Kurogane going to live? Where are Syaoran and Sakura going to live (depending on who they are)? Who were real Syaoran’s real parents? What was real Syaoran’s price to pay to get out of the darkness? On a forum someone questions what real Syaoran and Sakura’s real names are (even though I really thought it was Syaoran and Sakura). What was Fei Wong Reed’s real goal? What did his final words mean? Does CCS Sakura have anything to do with this hot mess IE the real mother of real Syaoran? Where are Fai and Kurogane going to live together? Which XXXholic boy is Fei Wong Reed?

Given that XXXholic is not set to end this month we still can hold out hope for answers. And by hold out hope I mean wait for the pigs, the horses, the cows, and the sheeps to come flying by your window. XXXholics has gone off into the future by four years. In crazy messed up Tsubasa time that might not mean anything. But I fear it might mean that Tsubasa is done crossing over with XXXholic and this is the ending we are supposed to get with Tsubasa. I can pretend the special visitor Watanuki is going to get will be clone Syaoran trying to bring back the reals but that would be really too much. Besides they have enough to cover with the egg issue and Watanuki waiting forever for someone who is dead.

There is going to be an epilogue chapter. I will pin my dreams to that chapter and pray it is not some goofing little story that has nothing to do with the Tsubasa storyline. It will in fact have Fai and Kurogane under a tree with clone Sakura and clone Syaoran. Princess Tomoyo will look on and think of Yuko and all the sacrifices she went through to make this all happen. The series will end with real Sakura telling Yuko in a dream that she doesn’t want to end up like her, that she rather “die” than be forced into living passed her time. Her price for this wish will be her own time frozen in the reservoir until the day she can move on peacefully with her real Syaoran. And that is where the real story begins.

And if it doesn’t happen exactly like this heads will roll.

But seriously…if this is the ending they give us…I might just hate CLAMP for a while. I will make a more coherent last thoughts post when it truly is the last chapter. Until then everyone channel hope that everything…or something ANYTHING will be explained in the bonus chapter. I will even give up my subtle Fai and Kurogane ending if I can get confirmation on which pairing is alive. The suspense will probably kill me but I will try to endure. Until then…just…seriously?! WHY CLAMP?!