Sunday, September 13, 2009

Stay Classy Kanye West

We interrupt our regularly scheduled anime blog to bring you this special report: Kanye West is a douchebag.

Wait you already knew that? Man and my anime post got bumped to tomorrow for nothing?

But yes people. If there was any doubt in your mind about this man here is all the proof you need that he is one of the worst human beings on the planet.

For years Kanye West has had this air of self importance with little to back it up. Being that I am not a huge music listener to begin with I am not aware of most of his work. But I think it is safe to say that he isn’t a Michael Jackson and a Madonna. And if he was going to be it is way too early to tell as his first album only came out 5 years ago.

Despite that fact, that his first album is only 5 years old, he has been going on and on for the past 4 years about how important he is, what a talent person he is, and how he deserves every award he is nominated for. Maybe I am just missing what is so great about him but if you have to go on and on about how cool and popular you are…you aren’t.

But now Kanye has topped himself. Which is surprising since he said on national television that George Bush hates black people, compared himself to Jesus, and thrown fits at other award shows when he doesn’t win the shiny trophy. It is surprising both in a good and bad way. Good because I hate this man and I love ammo against him but bad because an innocent person had to suffer.

Who is this innocent person? Taylor Swift. Again not really a big fan of a lot of music so I don’t know much about her body of work. I do know that cheerleader boyfriend song is annoying but that isn’t really the point. The point is that Taylor Swift was nominated for the best female video at the MTV Video Music Awards and won. Clearly you see the problem right?

For those who fail to see how someone winning an award that Kanye West wasn’t even up angers the great Douchebag let me explain based on my limited knowledge of the events (I was busy watching crappy SciFi movies instead of the MTV music awards). Taylor Swift was nominated in the same category as Beyonce. In my opinion both women have annoying songs that were nominated but Swift won. She went on stage and acted like a nervous school girl to accept her award. It was actually quite endearing up until the point where Kanye West ruined it.

While Taylor Swift was trying to be gracious and cute with her award Kanye West stomped on stage and grabbed the mic from her. He told Swift he would let her finish (how kind of him!) but went on to rant that Beyonce’s video was the best and she should have won. That Beyonce’s video might be the best video of the decade and he is here to tell everyone in the world his opinion. He leaves the stage acting like he has done some great act of humanity.

We are left with quite possibly the saddest looking face I have ever seen on live television. Taylor Swift was just standing there stunned with tears in her eyes. Then it was the longest pause in history as she tried to compose herself and think of something to say. Oh but wait she couldn’t as her time was up and she had to leave the stage.

So not only does Kanye West throw fits when he doesn’t win awards but he goes insane when people he personal thinks are better don’t win. What kind of ego does this man have? His opinion is gold and must be fact? And I am sure Beyonce herself does not think her video is the best of the decade. That is the most insane comment he has ever said. No that’s not true…everything he says is insane. But seriously….how can someone possess such an inflated ego and not be smacked around?!

I will give Beyonce beyond major props though. During Kanye’s unasked for speech she looked like a deer in headlights. Sure she smiled but it was that smile you make when you want to kill someone. The kind your mom makes and she is muttering “when we get home mister!!!” under her breath. Then later, when Beyonce won for best music video of the year, she called Taylor Swift on stage so she may have time for her acceptance speech. Beyonce remembers how it is to get your first award and the excitement you feel and wanted to give Taylor back that moment. Beyonce treated the
situation in the best way possible as did the audience that booed sir Douchebag.

Oh but it gets better. Just a little while ago Kanye West blogged an “apology” to Taylor Swift. It has all the sincerity and grace expected of Kanye at this point. It stays true to backhanded apology form. It has the” I’m sorry BUT” which we all know isn’t really an apology but the person making an excuse for their bad behavior. It has rude comments like “Welcome to the real world” that are really unnecessary in any context. It has him explaining that he isn’t crazy (that is code for boorish asshole apparently) but real and he is just saying how it is ya’ll. It has him talking about himself more than the person he is “apologizing” to. My personal favorite though is how this grown man is treating this apology like a text message with ALL CAPS and the random …….. and !!!!!!!!!!. It just makes the entire thing that more trashy.

He is never going to get it. Reading his “apology” lets me know this giant douche thinks he is better than everyone else in the universe and that reality can’t touch him. At this point I wonder if he has a mental illness and I am personally against crying out MOG disability to explain away someone’s douchness. He is just that special.

While he will never get it…why can’t his “fans”? Why can’t they see he really isn’t that talented? That he is a bully, a hot tempered child, and a sickening human being? Why aren’t more people calling him out on his shit? I know some people have but hit him where it hurts! Stop buying his albums, stop going to his concerts. This jerk needs a reality check and maybe the only way he will get it is by people stopping his cash flow. If he doesn’t have numbers to back up his awesomeness perhaps he will finally get that he is not Jesus. But even if he doesn’t get it at least it would be more enjoyable watching him being all pissy and poor.

So in conclusion…Kanye is and always will be a douchebag. I suppose now we should be more surprised if he attended an award show and didn’t make a scene. That would be the real news story.

But I would like to thank Kanye for something. He has shown me that no matter who I meet in this life…no one can be a bigger asshole than him. Thanks Kanye for taking one for humanity.

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