How to make your pizza delivery driver hate you

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday usually means Kobato anime post day. :( As of 5 minutes ago no one had the subbed episode up. Lots of websites came up with the words "English subs" in the title...but they weren't. They are liars. Placeholders so they can be a top site and get more clicks.

Evil getting my hopes up like that.

So instead I shall entertain you with a short story on a customer who really, really sucked today. As in DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN material. And yes this really, really happened. I don't see the point in making up something so ridiculous. Or at least something so ridiculous that happened to me.

Edit: Two seconds after posting Kobato Episode 17 was up subbed. GO ME! ...:(


I often complain about bad tippers. The people who think that tipping 2 dollars when I go 4 miles out of my way for them (16 mile round trip YAY ME!) and they are already getting a heavy discount on their pizzas. It makes me mad, makes them look cheap, and everyone but Tenchi is happy. Sadness.

I usually complain about people who don't tip. This also includes people who are getting a heavy discount on their pizzas but fail to tip their driver because they suck at life. These people often know they are supposed to tip but feign ignorance because apparently they don't fear me. Even though I JUST dropped off pizzas at their house.

But today is a first. Today is a different kind of rage. Today I hate people even more than usual.

Today someone called the store and asked for their tip back.

Is everyone done picking their jaws off the ground? Mine might be down there still so let me know if you see it.

I went on a delivery to a place that usually fails to tip me. So automatically I am in a bad mood. I get there, it's cold, and the person isn't ready to pay me. Awesome. I see they have the correct amount of money in their hands and I hold my hand out to take it. They say HOLD ON and run to their car. I almost faint. Could they be running to get my tip?! Are pigs flying?!

They come back and hand me the money. I see two 5's so that automatically covers the price of the pizza. They take the box and walk away. That means no change for you and THANKS from me. Off I go back to my warm store. I count the money (something I usually do in the car but I somehow manage to hit all green lights go me!!!) and there is a FIVE DOLLAR TIP! I think WOW this person felt bad about not tipping me all this time and this is my reward for not stabbing them in the face. Do I hear angels singing?

Oh it's the phone? Hello? Place I just delivered to?....What's that? You say you gave the pizza delivery driver too much money and you want it back? All 5 dollars back you say? And you want her to bring it back to you now?

..............

WHY?! WHY ME GOD?! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!

In shock I said that yes, he could come back and get his money. Maybe it was out of anger. Or pity. How pathetic do you have to be to ask for your "accidental" tip back? But no, I told him I was not driving back there so I could make two trips for no cash. I might be stupid but I'm not that dumb.

So delivery drivers of the world there are worse things than not getting tipped. There is new and exciting way to piss us off now: take back the money that was just given to us. It rises to the top of the annoying list, just above no tip and dogs attacking us.

This will NEVER happen again. I have no idea what possessed me to give back MY money to this complete jerk but next time I will grow a spine and tell them that will not be possible. But for now, I have an awesome/awful story to share with people. YAY ME!