Customers totally make me a people person

Sometimes my mother annoys me. I guess that is what mothers all around the world to their children. But it gets to me sometimes when my hobbies are always lame, I spend my free time wrong, and my opinions on political/social matters are just edgy. Yay moms bringing down their kids one jab at a time.

LOVE YOU MOM! XD

But what makes me roll my eyes is when my mother insists (“lovingly”) that I hate people and my attitude towards the average person is pretty poor. That I fail at empathy, sympathy, and I am sure one other kind of XXXpathy. At times she feels scared for my future and wonders how she could produce such an uncaring person (see how moms turn this back on themselves! It is amazing!).

I roll my eyes because I am the poster child of a people person! I have paved the way for hard core people haters everywhere to see the light and learn to love their fellow human beings! Why look at these lovely examples on how I DIDN’T lose my temper and protected the innocent feelings of my fellow man.





A family came in for some lunch. One of the children (a teenager) used crutches to walk in and sit down. When I came back from a delivery the family was gone…and the crutches were still there. Now did I laugh in this dumb family’s face when someone came to retrieve the crutches ONE HOUR LATER!? No I did not. I was behind the wall laughing in silent. Someone with no XXXpathy would have totally made some stupid remark to the family member picking up the crutches. Go me.

A woman with her kid and husband came in. She approaches the counter and comments that our food looks like shit. Those weren’t her EXACT words but she made the I smell dog shit face. She did use the words “your food used to be good”. This is all occurs before she orders and consumes said food. Now a total asshat would have told this bitch off (LIKE SHE DESERVED) and then complained when she got fired for (justifiably) going postal on this idiot’s ass. But what did I do? I walked away. I was the bigger person…that asked someone else to deal with that woman before I pulled out her hair. Would someone who REALLY hated people pass up on an opportunity to legitimately scream at someone? I think not.

Coworker comes in to show off some hideous gift they got at Christmas. Said gift is truly fugly. I even suspect that I am being pranked because of the obvious fuglyness. But do I bash the person who gave coworker this really hideous and fugly gift? No. Because I have mastered the art of receiving fugly gifts and have learned to be TACTFUL about such matters. Instead of talking directly about the object one must say something in passing, like you were trying to compliment the item but really you are changing the subject. Example:

“Wow that is pretty interesting, sorta like those shoes are they new too?”

The key is to talk fast and look genuinely interested in the new topic. Or if all else fails find SOMETHING nice to say about the present/item. The color is nice, the fit is great, it looks expensive. If I didn’t care about other people’s feelings would I go to such lengths to protect their little bubble?

The husband likes to watch this really boring TV show. I know I watch a lot of boring TV too. But he will watch past seasons for hours and hours and randomly laugh (or it seems random as he is wearing headphones so I can’t hear the punch line). But when he deems something funny enough to share with me I walk my happy self over to him and pretend to be interesting. Because that is what a good wife does. If I really had a heart that was two sizes too small I would tell him to buzz off and stop showing me lame clips.

Sometimes my friends do stupid things. Because they are human and humans do stupid
things every single day. Now I have learned (over time of course) that instead of getting mad at every stupid thing they do that I should pick my battles on important issues and support them on the rest. It takes time to learn that your friends are not you and thus will not make the decisions that you would pick for yourself. So sometimes you bite your tongue and let the issue past. Now this might more me wanting to have friends and avoid being alone in the world rather than me trying to show my love for humanity. Or maybe it is my love for humanity, just a select few members.

When a customer’s son knocks over his cup and spills his drink I say nothing, accidents happen. I am not even going to ask why the lid wasn’t on the cup. After the spill is cleaned (SEE ME not the parents) I say nothing when the kid spills the drink again! Because lids are hard. And when your kid spills his drink for the third time only one of my eyes twitch and I don’t throw the towel at you. I gently place a clean wet rag at the end of your table and cheerfully say this is for any future messes. Any normal human being would be stapling the damn lid to the damn cup that your damn kid can’t seem to master BUT NOT ME. Look how loving I can be.

When a customer (multiple customers) pokes fun at the HK shirts I wear every day to work I do not stab them in the face. Really does this one need explaining? I think my awesome people skills are pretty obvious with this one.

Customer and two family members come in at 7:59. We close at 8. They argue over what they want to order. I am standing there with a fake smile on my face. They finally place their order and tell me they plan on eating their food there. I politely inform them that while we closed at 8 and that they would be unable to eat in our restaurant we could still make their pizza. When customer and said family members throw a colossal bitch fit saying that this is so unreasonable and blah blah poor customer service I do not pick up the baseball bat and bash them in the heads. I do not tell them how rude they are for expecting everyone to stay later because they have a hard time reading the hour of operation times on the front door. Instead I watch them go out the door and wait until they drive away before I scream in frustration.

Now to me all these examples mean that I am not a people hater and that deep down my soul is a peaceful and friendly being.

My mother sees it differently. Apparently harboring ill will to those who deserve it and complaining about the situation later to non involved parties are signs that I am beyond hope and truly hate people.

If I really didn’t care about my mother (and money and possible jail time) I would do all the little things the voices in my head tell me to do. But like most people, I get frustrated, I vent, and then I move on. Being a sympathetic/empathic person doesn’t mean you have to be walked all over. A lot of times it does though. I also don’t have to run around constantly and say AW POOR THEM when they are the ones who caused the problem. I can be a realist and fake being a nice person at the same time. Sometimes I can actually be a nice person and really mean it!

But if you are stupid you are stupid. I’ll help you out if I can (or if it’s my place to) but I am going to snark you later and laugh at your stupidity. I am after all human.