I don't know. Something else. Also terrible.

Today something really awesome happened.

Or really crappy. I haven’t decided yet. Or perhaps it’s a bit of both?

My mother defended me at work today and didn’t focus on how the issue was my fault and instead got mad at the person who blew everything out of proportion. Truly it is a day that will be etched in my mind forever.

So what grievous offense did I commit today that caused a customer to lose her sanity?

I cut a pizza into 8 pieces and not 10.





Let’s start at the beginning because that makes life much more fun. It is a slow day at our pizzeria and I was munchin on some cookies. A woman comes in with her 4 teenage kids. She orders half something half pepperoni pizza. She actually orders drinks despite bringing in her own tub of tea which shocks me to my core. She asks me to cut the pizza into 10 pieces. It makes sense as there are 5 of them, thus everyone gets 2 pieces. I write “cut in 10” on the ticket.

Being that I cut pizzas all the time and 99 percent of all those pizzas are cut in 8 my brain is program to cut in 8. I wasn’t thinking and I take full responsibility for not paying attention. I went on autopilot, cut the pizza, and served it. Clearly I am the devil.

When I took the pizza to the table the mother had WTF is that smell look on her face. Only then I remembered the pizza was supposed to be cut in 10. I am just that awesome. I immediately apologize and pick up the pizza. I say I am going to cut it in 16 slices so everyone more or less gets the same amount of pizza. Only one slice will be left over and I am sure one of the boys would have eaten it in a split second.

The woman says no, this is fine in a way that sounds like I have just run over her baby kitten and she is doing her best not to eat my soul. Before I can offer the woman two slices (MORE PIZZA THAN SHE ORDERED) her eldest son says No it’s fine. But he says it in a way that actually sounds like it is fine. I apologize again and scamper off.

Now I am sitting down in the “break room” (IE a table that is like 5 feet from the dining area) and eat my own lunch. And the rest of my cookies. Maybe if this lady had her own cookies the story would have ended happily. I am sitting there talking to my brother about his really insane teacher. Our manager (our mother) is standing up so she can see us talking and can still look out into the lobby at the same time.

Apparently the mother sat there the entire time not eating anything. All of her kids offered her a slice and she kept refusing them, like she was a victim of some horrible crime and would rather suffer than seek help. My mom says that the kids looked uncomfortable and didn’t enjoy their meal. After all 8 pieces of pizza are done the kids get up and start getting ready to go. That is when the action starts.

The mother gets up and starts pacing in front of the register. Well not in front of it like HI I have a question but in front of the register area waiting to explode. My mother had been listening to my brother complain about his teacher but suddenly she disappeared. I hushed my brother because I am the nosiest person on the face of the planet.

Since I couldn’t hear everything I shall give you the basic rundown: The woman finally stopped pacing and told my mother she went without food because her employee couldn’t follow basic instructions. The woman didn’t feel it was fair that she had no lunch because I couldn’t fix a problem properly. My mother grew a backbone today and reminded the lady that I had offered to cut the pizza into smaller pieces so everyone would have equal slices. The woman apparently got snippy and said 16 was not 10. Thanks for that math lesson honey. But it basically would have been the same amount of food you would have gotten with 2 slices of a 10 slice pizza. But math is hard. So is sharing.

So my mother ignores her rant and says that since she (the woman) said it was fine and her son said it was fine that we took the situation to mean it is fine that I made a mistake and that we (the family eating the pizza) would make it work. My mother said that we would have fixed the situation because a mistake was made on our part but since we were given the go ahead to move on with life we moved on with life.

INSERT SCREAMING MATCH HERE.

I have never heard my mother so angry at someone she wasn’t related to ever. Okay maybe I have but clearly this lasted the longest and was the most epic. X_X It was like we switched personalities. I was nearly crying in the corner (I am going to claim PMS on this one folks, no way I would miss out on a scream out on a normal hormone day) while my mother was standing up to a loser customer. And my brother looked on in X_X. X_X describes this situation well.

So at the end of the yelling match it is IMPLIED that the woman thought I should be fired if I can’t do my job without making mistakes. Also sucky customer claims they are the BEST CUSTOMER EVER and they order from us all the time. Note to readers that my mom and brother did not recognize this woman at all. I didn’t either but I don’t recognize people who actually do come in all the time so I don’t count. Woman claims that she ALWAYS orders her pizza 10 cut and she has never had a mistake before. And that my mother is incredibly rude and we have lost a valuable customer and you are going down for this dramatic.

Had I not been all weepy in the corner this would have been a joyous and humorous event.

Now one would think that if something was so horrible that a person would ask for the pizza to be remade or to be given two slices so there would be 10 total slices. One would think that cutting the pizza into 16 slices would be a reasonable solution. One would think that in the grand scheme of things that a mistake of this insignificance would be brushed off easily and one would go about their day as a normal human being.

But not for Ms. Crazy pants. Apparently sitting there starving and stewing in your own anger and hunger is a better way to handle a simple mistake. Because you think if you do that and make a huge scene that you will get the pizza for free.

That’s right folks. I gave these people the correct amount of pizza they wanted with the correct toppings and offered to cut the pizza into smaller slices so everyone got an equal amount of pizza, nearly equal to what they WOULD have had with two slices. But clearly if there is a minor fixable problem you are entitled to your entire meal free because you refused to let us fix the problem and went all martyr on us.

But not today sucky customer. Not today. Because today my mom stuck up for me. That makes today a good day.

Then the Cloverfield monster crushed the city. The end.