The more you know!

It is only Wednesday and I have learned so many wonderful and fascinating facts already. Truly I lead an interesting and blessed life.

...the more I die a little inside...

So come...experience the Tree of Knowledge. May your eyes be opened to the truth and your heart be filled with hope for the human race.




If you are caught cheating on your spouse the correct course of action is to scream at them for not doing the cat liter. Obviously the offenses are equal in the eyes of the law and God. Thou shall not commit adultery and thou shall honor the liter box and keep it holy, look it up.

My life as a cover girl!

THIS still has a chance of being America's Next Top Model. And now she has a hair cut that makes her look even more like a psycho anime character who is about to eat your brains and play in your nose bleed. Fierce Tyra FIERCE!

Feeling uncomfortable when strangers cry in front of you makes you a bad person. You lack empathy and do not deserve your retail job if you tell others later in the day that said crying customer at your job upset YOU and you felt helpless while watching them stand there for 5 minutes crying. Any attempts to explain how the situation is sucky for the retail worker being uncomfortable in this situation will only gain you off handed remarks how they are glad other people in the world offer more hugs and kisses to strangers than you do.

Stealing from an internet game is okay. In fact, they should be praised for their brilliance. When other users point out that rewarding cheaters, whether they be online game scammers or identity thieves, is WRONG those other users must be mocked for talking about two unrelated facts. You justify this mocking by of course talking about anal beads, paraplegic with down syndrome, and CNN. Then you mock the other users about how they just got owned.

When you ask an employee what time their establishment is closing and they say two minutes, apparently that translates to "you have all the time in the world! Please sit down and read the menu for a good 10 minutes, order some food, and proceed to eat it in the restaurant". Because the polite response would not be to leave and come back at a different time or THANK the people who are staying later to make you dinner and leaving with your carryout order. No no NO! It clearly means that the laws of time and space bend at your will and closing in 2 minutes means you can stay until 41 minutes after. Because you are a special snowflake and special snowflakes are not bound by a business's hours of operation!

That's all I have for you today. If I shared all the great knowledge of this week surely your brains would explode. Ms Top Model would go insane over your beautiful blood splattered all over the walls and we can't be having that. Fear not for the week is young, there is plenty of time to be enlightened beyond belief. Peace with you and all those you hold dear.