Clearly free food makes customers angry D:

I was going to post some fun customer sucks story at this AWESOME livejournal community very appropriately called customer_suck. But after reading some comments and how they like to attack people who go against some of their self proclaimed nazi rules...I decided to steer clear from posting there (I will just lurk in the shadows and read some funny stories). I will just post my lovely customer MOG moments here and blog about the truly hypocritical nature of some communities later.

So yes I work at a pizzeria. For all purposes let's call this establishment Fred's Awesome Pizza. I was hired to be a counter like person. But on some days I am an awesome pizza delivery driver (as it shocks some customers to see an MOG girl delivering their pizza). On the days that I am a driver I am responsible for ...delivering the pizza, doing the dishes in the back, and lending a hand when I can up front. Now since I know how hectic it can be up front and my overall deliveries will be smoother if I help the front as much as I can, I help out much more than other delivery drivers.

So on this particular night I was the delivery driver. I had just gotten back from a delivery. I drop off my bag and the front seems to be going smoothly. So I go to the back and start a stack of dishes that have piled up. I am minding my own business as the phones are getting answered fast and nothing is on fire. The second I finish my dishes and dry my hands I hear one of my co-workers go TENCHI! FRONT! After rolling my eyes from the implication that I am not at the front and making the customer wait for ME, I plaster on a happy smile and go to the front.

Then the real hell begins.





You know when you start a conversation and things are just going to end with a blood bath? Yes...that is what I felt when I looked at this woman. She was not a happy camper and I had not even said hello yet. So after greeting her I ask her her name so I can fetch her order. My coworkers have chicken scratch for handing writing so I read a line as Xceasar dressing. Now..I have seem many weird orders so I assumed they wanted just Ceasar dressing for their pizza (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrross). I read this out to the woman and she is like NO extra dressing for my SALAD! AHHH! I say. I ask my co-worker if he put an extra dressing in the bag. He said he forgot which is LAME on his part but she hadn't left the store yet! So nothing bad yet right? I ring the woman up, hand her her pizza, tell her I will fetch her extra dressing, and that her salad is located in the cooler near the door. A side note is when I handed her pizza, she immediately opened the box and said I need to make sure the pizza is right, since it was WRONG last time. X_X Yes, let me run and get that dressing now since apparently Extra Cheese Pizza can be made wrong.

Background on the salads: These were not my rules. I just follow them. We get an order for a salad and it is immediately made. Two bread sticks are thrown in the oven while the salad is prepared. The two sticks are then placed on top of the salad and the salad with dressing bag is placed in the "soda" freezer near the door. I question why we let the sticks get cold, but if we let the salad sit out it will get hot. Not saying this was the BEST way to do it; I just followed rules. Every other customer would just say THANKS, get their salad, and walk out the door. Not happening tonight.

While I am fetching the salad I have a WTF DID I JUST DO MOMENT! Said customer....was rather large. Now I am not fatist or whatever the term is. People of any size and race can be awesome and or stupid. Race/size is not a factor in how much I hate you. No, the problem is WHERE the salad is located. It is in said freezer near the door. Said freezer is sorta...behind, (or in front of) a table with a bench for chair. Now a person MY size can walk through the area, stand to the side, and open the soda case with no problem. A lady her size...would have problems. And it seriously did not dawn on me that she might have a problem. So I get the salad dressing as quick as I can so maybe I can get the salad out for her.

Nope. I get to the counter and the salad is there with a now more angry lady. :( I give her the dressing and smile. She then asks if she can have more croutons. XO Seeing my chance to redeem myself I say SURE, run and fill up two 4 oz cups of croutons, and give them to her for free. Right? Everything should be well in the world and rainbows and baby kittens?

No. Because this is my life. She asked where the bread sticks were. :O In the salad container ma'am. You mean....they were getting cold in the freezer. Um.....yes? She takes a moment to sprinkle some MORE cheese on the pizza at the counter (blocking other customers) Then she says....ell, they (bread sticks) are not in here anyway.

Now....heaven forbid I call a customer a liar...but the container with the salad has a sticker keeping it closed (actually, heaven forbid I CALL her a liar to her face...me wanting a job and all). Like you have to break the sticker to open it or even peek inside. Sticker is intact. This lady is just pissed because the bread sticks are cold. So instead of calling her out on her bs I decide to give her two MORE bread sticks. I joke to my co-worker that I am going to fire him since now he has forgotten the dressing and "bread sticks". I am trying to elevate the tension.

I failed. So the very upset lady is now mad it is taking so long. I mean, she is scamming new bread sticks off of us now...you think she would be patient long enough for them to cook. Oh no...she just plants herself at the counter blocking other customers from paying and is glaring. I am trying my best to hide but it's not working so well. We give her the bread sticks as quick as possible and thank for understanding about the wait. That is code for " Here is your free food idiot now BOUNCE!" Was that good enough for Ms. REALLY MAD?

No. She decides that she is so much better than all of us and must intimidate the little restaurant workers. And what is the best way to do that? Pretend to know the owner of course! But....this is what she said:

"Yep. You should be careful how you serve people. I KNOW Fred and maybe I should give him a call."

She turns heel...and waddles out of the restaurant. To which my co-workers and I start laughing. Yes, the restaurant is called Fred's Awesome Pizza. But the owner's name is Mike, not Fred. No one named Fred works there. So her trying to use scare tactics on us fail on an epic scale and we spent the rest of the night laughing at her moronic behavior.

That is a lie...because again this is my life. 12 minutes later my boss calls from the other store. This is what crazy crackhead lady had to say to my boss:

Counter girl was in the back not doing her job and she had to wait unassisted for a while.
Her extra dressing was not in the salad.
Counter girl had the NERVE to make her fetch her own salad which was racist against fat people. (Fat is a race now?)
The bread sticks were not IN her salad and she was forced to wait for them.
Her pizza WAS NOT CUT?! x_x
The "kids" behind the counter were messing around without an adult in sight.
Workers were "rude" to her when she left.

So my dear readers....WTF?! I would like to know how ANY of this is my fault?! X_X Counter girl did not take the order, make the order, or assemble the order ( I am going to say "counter girl" even though I was delivery driver because we know how BOYS can't be counter boys). Counter girl did not cut the pizza (which I DO have problems cutting all the way through, but certainly not with THIS PIZZA). That and since she opened up the pizza, you would THINK she would notice if it were CUT or not?! Counter girl made SURE she left with her salad dressings before she even paid. Counter girl gave her free croutons. Counter girl did not question her LYING about the bread sticks and gave her news one.

OH AND COUNTER GIRL IS 25 EFFING YEARS OLD! -____- Not to mention counter BOY is 20 years old. Kids we are not my little fattie friend.

Let's review: A woman comes in and gets all the food she pays for AND THEN SOME. She is served in a polite manner and the only REAL issue she should have is something that deals with a policy I have no control over (where the salad is placed). Woman calls boss (she called him Fred when she called apparently...yeah, let's believe this is an awesome and loyal customer) to complain that kids are running the business into the ground. Boss calls innocent counter girl and gently reminds her to be polite to all customers. Counter girl....hangs up phone and chops co-workers into pieces and serves them as bacon bits.

Thank you customer who witnessed this incredible about of suckage and went DUDE what was her problem?! when she left. It is nice to know I am not totally insane.

We end with changing the seating around so the soda machine is SLIGHTLY easier to get to, the salads are kept in a different freezer, and we keep the bread sticks separate until they pick up their meal. And Miss Loyal customer has not returned since. THE END!