Sunday, June 14, 2009

I just wanted a salad!

Your regularly scheduled Pandora Hearts post has been put on hold today to bring you this special report: People suck.

There are some people out there who are assholes. I don’t mean people who cut you off in traffic kind of assholes but someone who was born to make everyone’s life miserable and enjoy doing so. Of course they could be classified as unhappy people who think life if unfair and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. Then again I don’t really care if your life is crap. Deal with it and try being a kind human being to your fellow man.

The woman in this next story couldn’t be a kind human being if her life depended on it. Every time I see her she has a sour look on her face and someone nearby looks unhappy. Clearly she leaves a trail of victims wherever she goes. Follow me as I tell you how this wonderful butterfly has treated me in the past and how today she pushed me over the edge.

Tale One: Someone is lacking customer skills...

Our story takes place at our military commissary. For those who do not know the commissary is basically a grocery store on base. They usually are much cheaper than Publix/Winn Dixie and sometimes cheaper than Walmart. Those who are in the military, were in the military, the guard, and their dependants are eligible to shop at the commissary. They use to check for military I.D’s at the door but they have since changed it to at the register.

Said asshole turns out to be one of the managers at the commissary. This information surprises me as she is an asshole and has no people skills what so ever. Also she is usually seen just telling people what lane to get in and handling minor issues that any 18 year old assistant manager could do at a normal grocery store. Or perhaps that is why she is an asshole as she is stuck in a job she hates and she needs to make everyone miserable.

Our first tale of woe takes place a week before my wedding. We were shopping for the reception dinner and as such we had a TON of food in our cart. We were literally in the store for hours going through the list and making sure to save pennies here and there. We get in line and unload the cart. After all is scanned and such my mother goes to pay with a check. The cashier ran a check through a machine which I thought was one of those automatic debit machines like they do at Walmart.

No, it turns out this machine reads the person’s name on the check and sees if there has been problems on their account before. The cashier tells my mother her check has been denied. After both of us make the X_X face she asks why she has been denied. Apparently my father had a check bounce over a year ago and as such my entire family was banned from using checks for three years.

Now…moving past the fact we were never informed of this policy and that my father paid the bounce check fee and the original amount…my mother ONLY wrote checks at the commissary. She usually did 2 months worth of shopping in one trip and the bill was always around 3-4 hundred dollars. So since my father had written this bad check my mother had used checks at the commissary and never had problem before. So she was caught off guard at why now she was being told she was unable to write a check.

My mother, who is very embarrassed at this point, starts going through her wallet searching for money. Given how much food we were buying she didn’t have enough. I opened up my wallet and started to give my mother the extra cash when the asshole herself marches over.

Apparently when the cashier ran the check and we were denied this signaled for asshole to come over and be condescending and nosy. The entire situation was being handled so I don’t know what her deal was. She saw me handing my mother money and she demands to see my military I.D. I was 22 and I was no longer in college. Therefore I could not have a military I.D with my family. I was marrying a military man but I couldn’t get my I.D. yet. So I had no I.D. to show this woman. I tell her I don’t have one and that I am just trying to help my mother pay this bill.

No. Apparently that was not good enough for Ms. Asshole. She said that only people with military I.D’s could shop at the commissary and I am not a military member. We try to explain that we were going to write a check and that their system failed to flag us before so we were unaware of our blacklisted check status. She said tough tities (well not really, but that is what I heard). I asked the woman what she wanted us to do. She said that my mother could pay the bill with her own money or we could come back another day.

Yeah, let me tell you how much that was not going to happen. My wedding was happening in a week and we don’t have time to drive up here, pick out the groceries again, and deal with this hassle. I decided it was lying time. I turned to my mother and “reminded” her that she had that money in the car left over from this morning. Being that my mom can be slow she looked confused. I told the cashier that we would be right back and I took my mom outside. I handed her my money and she was like OH.

Personally I don’t think that asshole believed there was money in our car. But I don’t really care. Had the store told us before of this policy and not let my mother keep on using checks this mess would not have happened. But as time will tell Ms. Asshole does not do anyone any favors.

Tale Two: What the hell is your problem?!

My next story of woe comes after I am married. I have my own I.D. now and since I do not use checks I thought I was good to go. Clearly I was wrong. I get all my groceries, get in line, see asshole, and start checking out. I go to pay with a credit/debit card…and I get insufficient funds. I get a X_X look on my face as I KNOW I have at least 300 dollars in there from my last paycheck and the bill is under 100 dollars. The cashier tells me sometimes the machine is crazy and she runs in out the main machine. It is denied again.

So now it is my turn to get embarrassed…but I don’t. I know I have money and that this is insane. Before me or the cashier could propose any other course of action enter the asshole. She wants to know what the holdup is. -____- Considering that people like my mother buy tons of groceries all the time and their check out time can be rather long I don’t know why her nose was all up in my business.

But apparently this asshole has some power over the cashier people and my cashier tells her what is going on. She looks at me and tells me that I don’t have sufficient funds and that I need to pay or leave. I was going to run the card as credit just to get out of there but now that Ms. Asshole is implying it is my fault and not the damn machines oh it was ON.

I told the cashier that I was running outside the ATM (my ATM by the way, as I belong to the military bank and all) and withdraw the cash that I know was in my account. I guess the cashier could sense my displeasure with Ms. Asshole and nodded. I stomped to the ATM and TADA I had over 300 dollars in my account. Isn’t that amazing? I come back cash in hand and Ms. Asshole looks over. I hope she chocked when she saw the 20’s in my hand. The cashier apologized for the machine being stupid and I told her I understood. On my merry way I went, smiling that the asshole was wrong.

Tale Three: And now I hate you.

So along comes today. Since we have moved a bit further from the commissary I don’t go there as often. I find the prices at Walmart to be nearly the same and now the commissary has a tax on food (which is apparently legal as they call it a maintenance fee or something). But I was on that side of town and I wanted to get my Hello Kitty on at the Exchange. For those who do not know the Exchange is like a department story on base with brand names at discount prices, uniforms, and basically everyday living items. They also have a pretty big Sanrio section which I love. XD

So I happily go in and pick out some Hello Kitty stuff for myself and I bounce to the cashier. She asks to see my I.D. and then makes the X_X face. Apparently my I.D. had expired. On May 21st. X_X I seriously was unaware of that as the person who let me on base, the security officer, checked my I.D. and let me on the base. That and my car tag was not going to expire for another year and I thought the two were connected. In any event I was at fault and I knew I was probably not going to get my Hello Kitty stuff.

But the woman at the Exchange was super nice. Really, A plus in going above and beyond. She called the base’s security and explained the situation. After talking to them she informed me that I was allowed to buy these items today as long as I got the matter taken care of right away. Being as it was Sunday the I.D place was closed so obviously not today. I thanked her and asked her if that meant I shouldn’t buy groceries at the commissary. She said that since security said it was okay that they should allow me to. She said if the commissary people gave me problems to tell them security said it was okay and if there was an issue they should call the office.

So like an idiot I forgot about the asshole and went shopping. I picked out what I wanted to have for dinner and a few other things we needed. I get in line to get assigned a lane and I see her. I mentally flick her off in my head and go to check out. For some reason almost all the cashiers at the commissary are not native English speakers. Now on most days I really don’t care as long as things go well and rainbows. But since I had to explain that my card was expired and I had permission from the security people to get food I was sighing at the fact Ms. Asshole was probably going to come over when the cashier didn’t understand.

And she didn’t. Which I can understand. She is just doing her job and this was breaking the rules and she needed someone higher up to deal with this mess. I figured if Ms. Asshole gave me problems I could just ask for a manager or make her call the security people. I guess you can see where this is going.

The confused cashier puts her light on and Ms. Asshole walks over. All the cashier tells her is that my I.D. is expired. I was standing right there and could hear the entire sentence. Ms. Asshole stomps over to me and says that unless I was with someone else with an I.D. I couldn’t buy this food. I open my mouth to explain the situation and before I can say a word she asks to see my I.D.

Now I am getting a little worried. My mother had an expired I.D. once and when someone asked to see it they cut it up. X_X That makes getting a new I.D. slightly difficult. So I really didn’t want to hand her my I.D as she seems the type to cut it up and have a parade to celebrate my pain. So knowing the worse was about to happen I gave Ms. Asshole my card.

Her face breaks out into glee. Really, if she could laugh at my situation she would have. But I think her soul has long been gone, stolen by a demon when she made a shady deal with the devil and as such she can no longer express human emotions vocally. But apparently seeing my expired card made it better for her, despite the fact I told her it was expired. As she did the happy dance I tried to tell her I was just at the Exchange (which is 5 feet from the commissary) and they called security and security said I could make purchases only today.

Let me tell you how much Ms. Asshole cared about that one. Yeah, that much. She informed me (with the most condescending tone known to mankind) that the commissary was not connected to the base and it was her judgment call to make and no one was going to tell her what to do. With that attitude I knew this was not going to end well.

And for once I was right. I am not sure if what she said was correct or not. I mean, maybe the commissary isn’t really connected to the base and they are some magically separate entity that only exists on a military base, only has military customers, and gets a discount on their food because they are connected to the military. I mean, clearly they are not connected to the military at all.

However my I.D. is a military issued I.D. The people in security, the ones with the guns and have the authority to tell anyone on base what to do, said I could use my I.D. I would THINK that Ms. Asshole would have to listen to them and let me buy my damn food. But Ms. Asshole is a power tripping idiot who has decided she has all the authority in the world. And that authority only got worse when I asked for a manager. Then I learned she is the manager and no one else in the store was higher than her at the moment. I asked her to please call the security people and listen to what they told me. She said that they had no authority over her and she was making a judgment call.

So as the mature and awesome adult I am…I told her to have fun being a bitch and stomped off. People stared at me and I felt a smirk coming from her general direction. A few sympathetic glances were thrown my way as I am sure Ms. Asshole has done this before to people. I only felt bad because I am sure that the cashier had to go and put all those groceries away.

So shall we review? Out of three times when there has been an issue with the commissary Ms. Asshole has made life difficult for my family...all three times. The first two issues there were problems with the commissary themselves and instead of being apologetic of the situation and trying to provide good customer service Ms. Asshole abused her power and did the exact opposite of what a manager should do. In the third issue the problem was already solved and yet Ms. Asshole had to take it upon herself to not bend the rules, even though the rules were not hers to bend at the time.

Quite frankly I am not sure why I bother with this place anymore. It is out of the way, the tax should be illegal, and I can find similar prices at Walmart/Target. And since this woman has been there since the beginning of time (or since I have had the memory to remember her ugly mug) Ms. Asshole isn’t leaving any time soon. I had plans to call the commissary tomorrow and complain about Ms. Asshole but the fact is my I.D. was expired and whoever I talk to will just say she is doing her job. And given the fact she has such a wonderful personality plenty of people must have complained about her before…and she is still there. Instead I will just rant about her behavior…and smile at the fact that she probably has a miserable life.

So in conclusion….Ms. Asshole at the commissary…I hate you. While you may be unhappy with your pathetic life try to limit contact with other human beings. I am sure there is a bridge out there waiting for a troll like you.

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